#1 humor site on the 'net

Diet Scale

Weight scale proportional to food allowance

Diet Scale thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Life is grim to the right of the water-only line

Recommended food choices for your own weight
QuotaBills
Health food makes me sick. - Calvin Trillin

A fat purse never lacks friends. - Unknown

Laughter is by definition healthy. - Doris Lessing

Happiness is good health and a bad memory. - Ingrid Bergman

Smoking cures weight problems... eventually. - Steven Wright

Have great, secret, big, fat hopes for yourself. - Gloria Vanderbilt

I'm not gaining weight. I'm living large. - Unknown

My weight is perfect for my height - which varies. - Unknown

Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow you may diet. - Unknown

Health insurance should be a given for every citizen. - Jesse Ventura

A fit, healthy body - that is the best fashion statement. - Jess C. Scott

Love is, or it ain't. Thin love ain't love at all. - Toni Morrison

If you ignore your health for long enough, it'll go away. - Unknown

Information is pretty thin stuff unless mixed with experience. - Clarence Day

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Mark Twain

Whatsoever was the father of a disease, an ill diet was the mother. - George Herbert

There is no curing a sick man who believes himself to be in health. - Henri Amiel

Being in a good frame of mind helps one keep in the picture of health. - Unknown

The key to a healthy lawn is to take care of what happens below ground. - Mike Bechtle

One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love. - Sophocles

You can't lose weight by talking about it. You have to keep your mouth shut. - Old Farmer's Almanac

Who ever hears of fat men heading a riot, or herding together in turbulent mobs? - Washington Irving

People don't trust private health insurance companies for all the right reasons. - Bernie Sanders

Logic is the hygiene the mathematician practices to keep his ideas healthy and strong. - Hermann Weyl

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

Having insurance doesn't guarantee good health outcomes, but it is a critical factor. - Irwin Redlener

Coaching doesn't make sick people well - it helps healthy people become extra-ordinary. - Thomas Leonard

He hath eaten me out of house and home; he hath put all my substance into that fat belly of his. - William Shakespeare

Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha

I'm on a strict liquid diet: Mimosas for breakfast, Margaritas for lunch, Martinis for dinner. - Unknown

Many of our fears are tissue-paper-thin, and a single courageous step would carry us clear through them. - Brendan Francis

Baloney is the unvarnished lie laid on so thick you hate it. Blarney is flattery laid on so thin you love it. - Fulton J Sheen

I love to go to a movie, get a Diet Coke and a barrel of popcorn, and sit there with my kids and watch a film. - William Shatner

The two things that are going to make you a better baker without even trying are a scale and a thermometer in your oven. - Tom Douglas

I cannot but bless the memory of Julius Caesar, for the great esteem he expressed for fat men; and his aversion to lean ones. - David Hume

Money isn't the most important thing in life, but it's reasonably close to oxygen on the "gotta have it" scale. - Zig Ziglar

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not. - Mark Twain

Maintaining healthy forests is essential to those who make a living from the land and for those of us who use them for recreational purposes. - Cathy M. Rodgers

A healthy, if well-concealed, respect for one's own capabilities is essential, but it should never lead to underestimating those of the opponent. - Jack Nicklaus

The best way to lose weight is to close your mouth - something very difficult for a politician. Or watch your food - just watch it, don't eat it. - Edward I Kock


Hog Hunter

Sea Horse

Impossible Object

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Blinker Fluid

Dutch Rollerblades

Goat Tree

Mind The Pedestrians

Trapped in the 5th Dimension

Job Retraining

Wet Floor Caution

Chef Multitasking

Camera Waterfall

Irony Pin

Cellfies

Where Safety Begins

Bad Ass Fire Truck

What A Deal

Moon Theft

Sushi Spine

Redneck Skateboard

Polar Bear Photographer

Friday the 13th

LadyNet