#1 humor site on the 'net

Dead End

Where time runs out

Dead End thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Sign of a brilliant graveyard deduction

QuotaBills
Nobody ever died of laughter. - Max Beerbohm

He that lives on hope will die fasting. - Benjamin Franklin

Death is philosophy's only problem. - Albert Camus

Love has no age, no limit; and no death. - John Galsworthy

I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard. - Phyllis Diller

The only people without problems are in a cemetery. - Norman Vincent Peale

If you wish to die young, make your physician your heir. - Romania Proverb

If it weren't for the olive, I'd starve to death. - Unknown

If you're afraid to die, you will not be able to live. - James Baldwin

To die in the flower of age is a life offered in sacrifice. - Madagascar Saying

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. - Mitch Hedberg

Kind words will never die - neither will they buy groceries. - Bill Nye

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Mark Twain

Never chase a lie. Let it alone, and it will run itself to death. - Lyman Beecher

The tragedy of Mormonism is, a single death makes a dozen widows. - American Saying

He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death. - H.H. Munro

Work and pray, live on hay, you'll get pie in the sky when you die. - Joe Hill

Fish die belly upward, and rise to the surface. Its their way of falling. - Andre Gide

Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever. - Mahatma Gandhi

The trick is to make sure you don't die waiting for prosperity to come. - Lee Iacocca

Santanism: The belief that when you die, your soul gets stuck in the chimney - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

"Fearless" is living in spite of those things that scare you to death. - Taylor Swift

You care so much you feel as though you will bleed to death with the pain of it. - J K Rowling

Learn as if you were going to live forever. Live as if you were going to die tomorrow. - Mahatma Gandhi

Death had to take him in his sleep, for if he was awake there'd have been a fight. - Theodore Roosevelt

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

My uncle's dying wish was to have me sitting in his lap; he was in the electric chair. - Rodney Dangerfield

Everybody has got to die, but I have always believed an exception would be made in my case. - William Saroyan

Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. - George Carlin

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. - George Carlin

There's a thing that keeps surprising you about stormy old friends after they die: their silence. - Ben Hecht

I submit to you that if a man hasn't discovered something he will die for, he isn't fit to live. - Martin Luther King Jr.

Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh. - George Bernard Shaw

Contracting COVID19 is not a death sentence. So, maintain social distancing and wash your hands frequently. - Abhijit Naskar

Fatalism is the creed of a will that is dying to its possibilities and seeks to drag the imagination with it. - Ravi Zacharias

Prayer is not about letting God know your will; it's about completely submitting to him. You die to yourself. - Mark Batterson

May you keep dreaming until the day you die. May imagination overtake memory. May you die young at a ripe old age. - Mark Batterson

I was court-martialled in my absence and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence. - Brendan Behan

Life is not lost by dying; life is lost minute by minute, day by dragging day, in all the thousand small uncaring ways. - Stephen V Benet

One thing about being successful is that I stopped being afraid of dying. Once you're a star you're dead already. You're embalmed. - Dustin Hoffman


Fox Hunting Madness

Emperor Penguins

The Side Effects of Veganism

Stair Railing Electrician

Cold Faucet

Make Womb For Baby

Hardtail Bike

Birth Control Kit

Come-Back Line Of The Year

Duck Gears

Chewing Gum Hazard

Keyboard Seating

Bent Over

Whatchamacallit Car

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Gone To Market

Peak Bernie

Female IT Experts

Obi-Juan Kenobi

Fuse ReplaceMeant

Student Food Strainer

IBITE

Slide-n-Freeze

Lizard Guitar