#1 humor site on the 'net

Culinary Breakthrough

Inspiration for toasted crumpet condiments

Culinary Breakthrough thanks to Howard Chapman

Battling the government Food Police

QuotaBills
Food tastes better when you wear it. - Erin Dealey

The best food is whatever fills the belly. - Arab Proverb

What poison is to food, self-pity is to life. - Oliver C. Wilson

I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying - dead. - Oscar Wilde

Proverbs are the cream of a nation's thought. - Unknown

Without ice cream there would be darkness and chaos. - Don Kardong

Chocolate is more than a food, but less than a drug. - R J Huxtable

I just love Chinese food. My favorite dish is number 27. - Clement Attlee

If I have one addiction in life, it's probably food. - Liam Hemsworth

Jello: The only food your husband has ever learned to cook - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Food, love, mother and career: the four basic guilt groups. - Cathy Guisewite

Before eating, always take a little time to thank the food. - Arapaho Proverb

You are only master of food that you haven't yet eaten. - Tibet Proverb

Food for the body is not enough. There must be food for the soul. - Dorothy Day

The rich would have to eat money if the poor did not provide food. - Russia Proverb

Laugh and the world laughs with you. Be prompt and you dine alone. - Gerald Barzan

I won't be impressed with technology until I can download food. - Unknown

Food is not rational. Food is culture, habit, craving and identity. - Jonathan S Foer

Your diet is a bank account. Good food choices are good investments. - Bethenny Frankel

Chemically speaking, chocolate really is the world's perfect food. - Michael Levine

If you are looking for a fly in your food, it means that you are full. - South Africa Proverb

The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread. - Steven Wright

Short of screaming-hot Thai food, everything can be suitable for kids too. - Guy Fieri

I need God's grace and something baked with peanut butter and chocolate. - Gloria Furman

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments. - Chris Rock

If more of us cared about food and home above gold, this world would be a merrier place. - Bilbo Baggins

We have to nip Ebola in the bud before it spreads through Africa and to other countries. - Mark Zuckerberg

I like spaghetti bolognese, I like baked beans on toast. I hate French food. I hate fancy food. - Simon Cowell

The automatic stabilizer is unemployment insurance, food stamps, additional coverage of Medicaid. - Franklin Raines

Growing up, I'd just be at home, playing tennis, spending my allowance on an ice-cream truck. - Venus Williams

Flour and butter, cream and sugar, words and images - all the ingredients for a rich, tasty story. - Rona Simmons

Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside. - Mark Twain

Most fat food is fried. Fried food tastes great, and people don't seem to care about the fat aspect. - Eric Schlosser

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

Because of their cuisine, Germans don't consider farting rude. They'd certainly be out of luck if they did. - P.J. O'Rourke

If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt

New Pasta Diet: Just walk pasta bakery without stopping. Walk pasta candy store without stopping. Walk pasta ice cream shop without stopping. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Mushroom: 1. A motel for quickies; 2. The place where they store the school food; 3. A room that has no sides, no walls, no doors and no ceilings. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There is one longing almost as deep and imperious as the desire for food and sleep. It is the desire to be great. It is the desire to be important. - Dale Carnegie

The best way to lose weight is to close your mouth - something very difficult for a politician. Or watch your food - just watch it, don't eat it. - Edward I Kock


Redneck Christmas Tree Transport

Three Cats Ago

That's Not A Knife

Someone Is Upset

Turkey Popcorn Dressing

Redneck Outhouse Throne

I'll Be Right There

How Not To Prop Start Your Plane

Young Superman

When Not To Stop Too Fast

Bustache

CheckMate

Plane Oops!

Sand Dive

Manitoba Home Security System

WinDoor

Bungee Cord Suspenders

Mirror Solution

Beerbulance

Handicap Motorcyclist

Filling Up Is OverRated

Coin Stacking

I Miss Being A Tree

Stoned In The Garden