Cowboy Baby Carrier

Birth patrol pills. - Archie Bunker

Genius is sorrow's child. - John Adams

Babies are such a nice way to start people. - Don Herold

It takes an entire village to raise a child. - African Proverb

One hour with a child is like a ten-mile run. - Joan B. Samuelson

Implement: Mischievous child's garden tool - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Ever notice how baby shampoo smells like spring? - Toni Sorenson

A rich child often sits in a poor mother's lap. - Danish Proverb

There are no premature babies, only delayed weddings. - American Proverb

Bison: What you say when your child leaves for school - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

For when a child is born the mother also is born again. - Gilbert Parker

Man's main task in life is to give birth to himself. - Erich Fromm

A new toy is something a child uses to break his old toys. - Joe-kster

You take more pictures of your baby than NASA does of Mars. - Unknown

A child seldom needs a good talking to as a good listening to. - Robert Brault

One year they wanted to make me poster boy - for birth control. - Rodney Dangerfield

Never help a child with a task at which he feels he can succeed. - Maria Montessori

Sweater: A garment worn by a child when his mother feels chilly. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

When I was a child, nobody died; but now it happens all the time. - Unknown

It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant. - Richard J. Ferris

As a child, the only clear thought I had was "Get candy." - Jerry Seinfeld

Having a baby is like trying to push a grand piano through a transom. - Alice Roosevelt Longworth

I'm contributing to the, waddya call, on the loosincy of a child. - Archie Bunker

A very small degree of hope is sufficient to cause the birth of love. - Stendhal

Kidnapping: The short snatches of rest a parent gets when baby sleeps - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Experience is the child of thought, and thought is the child of action. - Benjamin Disraeli

Creative play is like a spring that bubbles up from deep within a child. - Joan Almon

Insomnia: a contagious disease often transmitted from babies to parents. - Shannon Fife

As a child, I was more afraid of tetanus shots than, for example, Dracula. - Dave Barry

All my life through, the new sights of Nature made me rejoice like a child. - Marie Curie

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five. - Groucho Marx

The four stages of man are infancy, childhood, adolescence, and obsolescence. - Art Linkletter

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard

At the base and birth of every successful venture you will find an enthusiast. - Winston Churchill

The most effective form of birth control I know is spending the day with my kids. - Jill Bensley

Having a baby is like falling in love again, both with your husband and your child. - Tina Brown

An ugly baby is a very nasty object, and the prettiest is frightful when undressed. - Queen Victoria

Vasectomy: 1. Never having to say you're sorry; 2. Spoil the rod. Spare the child. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

When I see my granddaughters make small discoveries of their own, I wish I were a child. - Dr. Seuss

It's easier to build up a child than it is to repair an adult. Choose your words wisely. - Unknown

Television has changed the American child from an irresistable force to an immovable object. - Laurence J Peter

Having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit. - Bill Cosby

I brought children into this dark world because it needed the light that only a child can bring. - Liz Armbruster

Golden Age: When the kids are too old to need baby-sitters and too young to borrow the family car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A library should be the delivery room for the birth of ideas - a place where history comes to life. - Norman Cousins

I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning. - Phyllis Diller

Teaching a child not to step on a caterpillar is as valuable to the child as it is to the caterpillar. - Bradley Miller

As a child, I was subjected to a lot of spaghetti Westerns and hated them. I wanted the Indians to win. - Kara Walker

If the loss of shame was the child of secularization, the loss of reason is the child of pluralization. - Ravi Zacharias

Every child should have an occasional pat on the back as long as it is applied low enough and hard enough. - Bishop Fulton J. Sheen

If a child, a spouse, a life partner, or a parent depends on you and your income, you need life insurance. - Suze Orman

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

The legacy I want to leave is a child-care system that says no kid is going to be left alone or left unsafe. - Marian Wright Edelman

The secret of genius is to carry the spirit of the child into old age, which means never losing your enthusiasm. - Aldous Huxley

Milk is the drink of babies, tea the drink of women, water the drink of beasts, and wine is the drink of the gods. - John S Blackie

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

Let early education be a sort of amusement; you will then better be able to find out the natural bent of the child. - Plato

The circumstances of one's birth are irrelevant. It is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are. - Mewtwo

He adopted a role called being a father so that his child would have something mythical and infinitely important: a protector. - Tom Wolfe

Babies are bits of stardust, blown from the hand of God. Lucky the woman who knows the pangs of birth, for she has held a star. - Larry Barratto

The climate, the economic situation, rising birth rates; none of these things give me a lot of hope or reason to be optimistic. - David Attenborough

A child can teach an adult three things: to be happy for no reason; to always be curious; and to fight tirelessly for something. - Paulo Coelho

Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. - Elizabeth Stone

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner

Hypothesis: 1. First thing a Redneck teenager says to his father on the phone; 2. Hippo, horse; thesis, placing: putting something on a horse. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com