#1 humor site on the 'net

Cow Gate

Proof of livestock intelligence in Texas

Cow Gate thanks to Barry McCartney

Illiterate cattle not welcome at this farm

QuotaBills
Texas is as odd as it is vast. - Henry Rollins

Organic Farm: Tilling like it is - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The people of Texas want us to secede! - William Clements

Vice-President: A cow's fifth teat. - Harry S Truman

Parts of Texas look like Kansas with a goiter. - Unknown

Why buy a cow if you can get the milk for free. - English Proverb

I never saw anything funnier than Texas politics. - Molly Ivins

A good farm is recognized as good partly by its beauty. - Wendell Berry

Farm: What a city man dreams of at 5 P.M., never at 5 A.M. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

In plain Texas talk, it's 'do the right thing'. - Ross Perot

Heifer cow is better than none, but this is no time for puns. - Groucho Marx

In Texas it's always hot, dry, sunny, not a cloud in the sky. - Piper Perabo

The cow is of the bovine ilk;
One end is moo, the other milk. - Ogden Nash

All the good ideas I ever had came to me while I was milking a cow. - Grant Wood

The folks in Mississippi are saying, 'Thank God for Texas.' - Kinky Friedman

Traveling through hyperspace ain't like dusting crops, farm boy. - Han Solo

Texas is now a cornerstone of the electoral college for Republicans. - Ed Gillespie

You should never hesitate to trade your cow for a handful of magic beans. - Tom Robbins

You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans. - George Carlin

News events are like Texas weather. If you don't like it, wait a minute. - Jessica Savitch

Texas has yet to learn submission to any oppression, come from what source it may. - Sam Houston

How can you look at the Texas legislature and still believe in intelligent design? - Kinky Friedman

Being from Texas, I would say I favor a pair of jeans you can wear some boots with. - Jensen Ackles

Abundance: 1. Big party held in a bakery; 2. A social event held in a farm building. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Mankind has a free will; but it is free to milk cows and to build houses, nothing more. - Martin Luther

I thought I knew Texas pretty well, but I had no notion of its size until I campaigned it. - Ann Richards

Some folks look at me and see a certain swagger, which in Texas is called 'walking.' - George W. Bush

I was in a sushi bar and it dawned on me - how could I discriminate between a cow and a fish? - Carre Otis

At the door of life, by the gate of breath, there are worse things waiting for men than death. - A.C. Swinburne The Triumph Of Time

Most of my memories of Texas are of mosquitoes, watermelons, crickets, and my brother teasing me. - Robin Wright

When I make a vow to God, then I would suggest to you that's even stronger than a handshake in Texas. - Rick Perry

I'm a farm boy. If we need five people to haul in hay, we don't take one and just work them to death. - Lincoln Davis

You can take the girl out of Texas but not the Texas out of the girl and ultimately not the girl out of Texas. - Janine Turner

Both in thought and in feeling, even though time be real, to realise the unimportance of time is the gate of wisdom. - Bertrand Russell

I could dance with you till the cows come home...
on second thought, I'll dance with the cows till you come home. - Groucho Marx

Lock up your libraries if you like; but there is no gate, no lock, no bolt that you can set upon the freedom of my mind. - Virginia Woolf

For almost seventy years the life insurance industry has been a smug sacred cow feeding the public a steady line of sacred bull. - Ralph Nader

The other day I dreamed that I was at the gates of heaven.
And Saint Peter said, "Go back to Earth. There are no slums up here." - Mother Teresa

Join voices, all ye living souls: ye birds,
That singing up to heaven-gate ascend,
Bear on your wings and in your notes his praise. - John Milton

Bill Gates has always been a mentor and inspiration for me even before I knew him. Just growing up, I admired how Microsoft was mission-focused. - Mark Zuckerberg


Friendly BBQ Reminder

Geek Piano

Ugly Haircut

XL Safety Shoes

Dance With Me

Secret Exit

Drawing A Fine Line

Fastest Land Mammal

First Driving Lesson

Foot-Ball

Vantastic

Ford Was All We Had

Mustang Limo

Mom Tested, Mom Approved

Suddenly An Oven

Lego Sushi

Got Your Nose

Covid-19 Protection

Vuvuzela Hits

You Are Grounded

Crosswalk Climber

Happy ARRRRRRRHH!

City Beach Castle

Martini Shirt