#1 humor site on the 'net

Courtesy Option

New car specifications clean up after themselves

Courtesy Option thanks to Keith Blake

I was afraid to turn this feature on in my work truck

QuotaBills
Khaki: A thing for starting a car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Don't make plans, make options. - Jennifer Aniston

Men are only as loyal as their options. - Bill Maher

Didn't he take the exercise tax off cars? - Archie Bunker

Failure is not an option. Everyone has to succeed. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig

A kiss makes the heart young again and wipes out the years. - Rupert Brooke

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

A vacancy might be opening up right now, courtesy of the grim creaper - Archie Bunker

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. - Carrie Snow

When you ask "What if..." you open the door to all your options. - Unknown

I need to stop getting into situations where all my options are potentially bad. - Jack Campbell

I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. - Erma Bombeck

Ignore the naysayers. Really the only option is, head down and focus on the job. - Chris Pine

The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. - Murray Walker

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen

Drive-in banks were established so most of the cars today could see their real owners. - E. Joseph Crossman

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times. - Tim Allen

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright

Freedom, privileges, options, must constantly be exercised, even at the risk of inconvenience. - Jack Vance

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

When Henry Ford made cheap, reliable cars people said, 'Nah, what's wrong with a horse?' - Elon Musk

If I weren't skateboarding, I'd love to race cars. I like anything that's fast and active. - Ryan Sheckler

I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby

Why don't you ever hear of a lawyer getting attacked by a shark at the beach? Professional courtesy. - Thomas F Shubnell

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pick-up truck, and end up with a station wagon. - Tim Allen

Hope is a renewable option: If you run out of it at the end of the day, you get to start over in the morning. - Barbara Kingsolver

The actual building of roads devoted to motor cars is not for the near future, in spite of many rumors to that effect. - Harper's Weekly

A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere. - Jay Shetty

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

I'm not a car guy. The subway gets me where I need to go efficiently and cheaply, and I don't worry about traffic. - Joe Scarborough

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

I can change a diaper in 30 seconds flat. I set the new one beneath the old one. That way, it's just wipe and pull the flap over. - Drew Brees

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright


Poor Lifetime

Be GarFul

Tooth Ferry

Ready For Rabbits

Ecosystem

Plumber's Night Light

Can I Lick The Bowl

Redneck Shelves

Google Classic

In Touch Today

Delicious Grief

Amplified Beer

How to Twerk at Work

$383.00 Paint Job

Wine Time Finally

Scooter Hearse

Thailand Ferry

Hard Hat Safety

Water Coolant

Spray-On Clothing

Bright Bookshelf

Saddle Surprise

Politicians Be Like

Senior Aerobics