#1 humor site on the 'net

Clint Eastwood

Celebrity profiles - from both sides

Clint Eastwood thanks to Howard Chapman

Doing a re-take in the Wild West

QuotaBills
TV: Chewing gum for the eyes. - Frank Lloyd Wright

Television has raised writing to a new low. - Samuel Goldwyn

There is no preparation for sudden celebrity. - Scarlett Johannson

Ah, TV respects me. It laughs with me, not at me! - Homer Simpson

Kids don't remember their best day of television. - Unknown

Television is a medium because anything well done is rare. - Fred Allen

Bed is like the womb, only drier and with better TV reception. - Linda Richman

Fan Club: Weapon used by a celebrity to beat off too many fans - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Let's bask in television's warm, glowing, warming glow. - Homer Simpson

It's very nearly impossible to tell the truth in television. - Malcolm Muggeridge

Celebrity is the chastisement of merit and the punishment of talent. - Emily Dickinson

Television has brought back murder into the home... where it belongs. - Alfred Hitchcock

Everyone has a purpose in life. Perhaps yours is watching television. - David Letterman

I think Les Moonves is the most highly overrated person in television. - Donald Trump

Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV. - Jerry Seinfeld

My children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced on television. - Erma Bombeck

Getting an award from TV is like being kissed by someone with bad breath. - Mason Williams

A sign of celebrity is that his name is often worth more than his services. - Daniel J. Boorstin

Do you realize if it weren't for Edison we'd be watching TV by candlelight? - Al Boliska

If it weren't for electricity, we'd all be watching television by candlelight. - George Gobel

A celebrity is anyone who looks like he spends more than two hours working on his hair. - Steve Martin

For those of you watching who do not have television sets, live commentary is on Radio 2. - David Coleman

I wanted this to be a movie on TV so I could press the off button and make it all go away. - Michelle Rowen

I chose the Egyptian dream: the dream to make a TV show, and then be called an infidel by the end. - Bassem Youssef

Television was not intended to make human beings vacuous, but it is an emanation of their vacuity. - Malcolm Muggeridge

You go to your TV to turn your brain off. You go to the computer when you want to turn your brain on. - Steve Jobs

I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby

We owe a lot to Thomas Edison - if it wasn't for him, we'd be watching television by candlelight. - Milton Berle

If I don't work, I'll be sitting on the couch watching TV, eating popcorn and getting like a cow. - Celia Cruz

Television remote controls encourage couch potatoes to exercise their options while broadening their base. - William Arthur Ward

One of television's great contributions is that it brought murder back into the home, where it belongs. - Alfred Hitchcock

When will I learn? The answers to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV! - Homer Simpson

There is no way you can get people to believe you on screen if they know who you really are through television. - Jack Nicholson

If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of the television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners. - Johnny Carson

We pick politicians by how they look on TV and Miss America on where she stands on the issues. Isn't that a little backwards? - Jay Leno

The perfect date for me would be staying at home, making a big picnic in bed, eating Wotsits and cookies while watching cable TV. - Kim Kardashian

I put my air conditioner in backwards. It got cold outside. The weatherman on TV was confused. "It was supposed to be hot today." - Steven Wright

The average family spends 30 hours in front of a television, and they say they don't have the time to have a balanced, integrated life. - Stephen Covey

One night I walked home very late and fell asleep in somebody's satellite dish. My dreams were showing up on TV's all over the world. - Steven Wright

I could never have imagined that firing 67 people on national television would actually make me more popular, especially with the younger generation. - Donald Trump


Downspout

Sausage Cat

Plastic Bottle Beach Art

Dog Shoes

Casket Car

Cafe Cappuccino

Redneck Car Swing

Need A Lifeguard?

Newfie Parkin' Only

What Are Friends For?

Piano Mover

Pumpkin Helmet

TP For Those With Money To Throw Away

Redneck Mailbox

Dog O'Lanterns

Canvas Rest Break

2 Republicans And A Truck

Corona Isolation

Cat Cookie

Worn Brakes

Apprentice Auto Body Shop

Moving Level Pro

Redneck Muffler Repair

Eggsellent Bike