Christmas Fruit Tree

Does wine count as a serving of fruit? - Joe-kster

German headshrinker named Sigmund Fruit - Archie Bunker

Recipe for a happy husband: Fake and Bake. - Unknown

Avoid fruit and nuts. You are what you eat. - Jim Davis

A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown

The trees that are slow to grow bear the best fruit. - Moliere

I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd

Excellence in any pursuit is the late, ripe fruit of toil. - W.M.L. Jay

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

Why not go out on a limb? Isn't that where the fruit is? - Frank Scully

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

Native ability without education is like a tree without fruit. - Aristippus

Character is the root of the tree; conduct, the fruit it bears. - E.M. Bounds

A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of. - Jane Austen

Plant the seed of meditation and reap the fruit of peace of mind. - Unknown

Don't be afraid to go out on a limb. That's where the fruit is. - H. Jackson Browne

Watermelon - it's a good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face. - Enrico Caruso

Wishing to be friends is quick work, but friendship is a slow ripening fruit. - Aristotle

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard

Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson

If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. - Miles Kington

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker

If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby

I know I'm not sexy. When I put my underwear on I can hear the Fruit-of-the-Loom guys giggling. - Rodney Dangerfield

The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

Once you have mastered a technique, you hardly need look at a recipe again, and can take off on your own. - Julia Child

Self-respect is the fruit of discipline; the sense of dignity grows with the ability to say no to oneself. - Abraham J. Heschel

Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey

I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
So just what are time flies, and why do they fly like an arrow? - Groucho Marx

I value my garden more for being full of blackbirds than of cherries, and very frankly give them fruit for their songs. - Joseph Addison

Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump

A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine; something Brussels Sprouts never do. - P.J. O'Rourke

Live in each season as it passes; breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit, and resign yourself to the influences of each. - Henry David Thoreau