Chinese Take Away

Zombies hate fast food. - Unknown

Take away love and our earth is a tomb. - Robert Browning

You know why fish are so thin? They eat fish. - Jerry Seinfeld

It's simple. If it jiggles, it's fat. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

Have great, secret, big, fat hopes for yourself. - Gloria Vanderbilt

Diets are for those who are thick and tired of it. - Unknown

Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid

The cardiologist's diet: - If it tastes good, spit it out. - Unknown

Where there is laughter there is always more health than sickness. - Phyllis Bottome

I got food poisoning today. I don't know when I'll use it. - Steven Wright

My metabolism stinks. I can gain weight just listening to dinner music. - Ron Dentinger

No disease that can be treated by diet should be treated by any other means. - Maimonides

You can't lose weight by talking about it. You have to keep your mouth shut. - Old Farmer's Almanac

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. - Redd Foxx

A man's health can be judged by which he takes two at a time - pills or stairs. - Joan Welsh

To live is like to love - all reason is against it, and all healthy instinct for it. - Samuel Butler

But we have to pass the [health care] bill so that you can find out what's in it. - Nancy Pelosi

An Englishman teaching an American about food is like the blind leading the one-eyed. - A.J. Liebling

Logic is the hygiene the mathematician practices to keep his ideas healthy and strong. - Hermann Weyl

"The Hunchback Of Notre Dame" had the big fat English actor, Charles Lawson. - Archie Bunker

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is. - Helen Rowland

There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt. - Erma Bombeck

The shovels haven't arrived, and until they do, you'll have to lean on each other. - Unknown

Coaching doesn't make sick people well - it helps healthy people become extra-ordinary. - Thomas Leonard

The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later, you're hungry again. - George Miller

If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman

I like spaghetti bolognese, I like baked beans on toast. I hate French food. I hate fancy food. - Simon Cowell

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose. - Garrison Keillor

Nobody can fail to lose weight in the jungle, unless they've got a secret stash of pork pies somewhere. - Colin Baker

My big focus is China and OPEC and all of these countries that are just absolutely destroying the United States. - Donald Trump

Just because I have rice on my clothes doesn't mean I've been to a wedding. A Chinese man threw up on me. - Phyllis Diller

Give a man health and a course to steer, and he'll never stop to trouble about whether he's happy or not. - George Bernard Shaw

Inside me there's a thin person struggling to get out, but I can usually sedate him with four or five cupcakes. - Bob Thaves

The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books - how not to eat what you've just learned now to cook. - Andy Rooney

In all affairs it's a healthy thing now and then to hang a question mark on the things you have long taken for granted. - Bertrand Russell

I cannot but bless the memory of Julius Caesar, for the great esteem he expressed for fat men; and his aversion to lean ones. - David Hume

In soap, fatty acids made from boiling pork bone fat are used as a hardening agent, but also for giving it a pearl-like effect. - Christien Meindertsma

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not. - Mark Twain

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

I'll paddle board, swim in the ocean, roll in the sand, soak up the sun, eat good food, be with friends and family and go fishing with my dad. - Behati Prinsloo