#1 humor site on the 'net

Childproof House

Find out where the Kids got in

Childproof House thanks to Mike King

What's a family without Kids?

QuotaBills
I like children - fried. - WC Fields

Genius is sorrow's child. - John Adams

Children need models rather than critics. - Joseph Joubert

Life is too short to drink the house wine. - Helen Thomas

Brat: A child who displays his pest manners. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The best way to make children is to make them happy. - Oscar Wilde

The man who has a full set of tools has no children. - Unknown

The best thing to spend on your children is your time. - Louise Hart

A child can ask questions that a wise man cannot answer. - Unknown

You see much more of your children once they leave home. - Lucille Ball

Love is the child of illusion and the parent of disillusion. - Miguel de Unamuno

My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the meal. - Rodney Dangerfield

Bricks may make a house, but the laughter of children makes a home. - Irish Proverb

Every bathroom in my house will ultimately have a Toto bidet in it. - Ken Marino

I have very good executives and great children. They're very good. - Donald Trump

All my life through, the new sights of Nature made me rejoice like a child. - Marie Curie

Children are not a distraction for more important work. They are the most important work. - C S Lewis

It's not that age brings childhood back again. Age merely shows what children we remain. - Goethe

A gentleman should never leave the house without a sharp knife, a good watch, and great hat. - Unknown

I want a house with a garden, but slap bang in the centre of London. Next door to a sushi bar. - Michelle Dockery

Crafting fills my life, and my closets, and my drawers, and every empty tote bag in the house. - Unknown

You need a plan to build a house. To build a life, it is even more important to have a plan or goal. - Zig Ziglar

It is an act of love to say, "I believe in you as my child, and you don't need my help." - Peter Buffett

Animals are like little children a bit. They're simple. They don't have politics driving them. - Annabelle Sabloff

Our children may learn about heroes of the past. Our task is to make ourselves architects of the future. - Jomo Mzee Kenyatta

If a child, a spouse, a life partner, or a parent depends on you and your income, you need life insurance. - Suze Orman

The best thing I've ever done? Well, I've created four beautiful children. You mean, other than that? - Donald Trump

We ought to be doing all we can to make it possible for every child to fulfill his or her God-given potential. - Hillary Rodham Clinton

The only way to write a great book is to write it with the eyes of a child who sees things for the first time. - Arnold Bennett

Play is a vital learning medium for a child. In a sense play is his work. And he discovers knowledge for himself. - Raymond Moore

A squirrel dying in front of your house may be more relevant to your interests right now than people dying in Africa. - Mark Zuckerberg

Eden is that old-fashioned house
We dwell in every day
Without suspecting our abode
Until we drive away. - Emily Dickinson

Tarry a moment to watch the chaos of a playground, crayola-colored shirts of running children, all trying out their wings. - Dr. SunWolf

He adopted a role called being a father so that his child would have something mythical and infinitely important: a protector. - Tom Wolfe

Every woman's dream is that a man will take her in his arms, throw her into bed... and clean the whole house while she sleeps. - Unknown

Play is the highest expression of human development in childhood for it alone is the free expression of what is in a child's soul. - Friedrich Frobel

At fifty, the madwoman in the attic breaks loose, stomps down the stairs, and sets fire to the house. She won't be imprisoned anymore. - Erica Jong

When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child. - Sophia Loren

Forgiveness is the answer to the child's dream of a miracle by which what is broken is made whole again, what is soiled is made clean again. - Dag Hammarskjold

At this late hour a wagon has been procured, and I have had it filled with plate and the most valuable portable articles, belonging to the house. - Dolly Madison


Saks-e Parking Job

Griller Bees

Texting While Cycling

Redneck Manicure

Police Profiling In Canada

Tree Stand

No Worries

Hospital Gown Insurance

Facebook Red Light

Redneck Speed Bump

Scientific Driving Test

House 'Broke'rage

Trampoline Apartment

Behind Every Man

SailBite Ride - Swimming Not Advised

Aisle Cleanup

His Dent

Car Surgeon

Slamming On Your Brakes

Need A Cigarette?

CardboardZilla

Weather Rock - For Accurate Forecasts

Water Taxi

Acapulco Waterfront Property