#1 humor site on the 'net

Cell Phone Warning

New police traffic initiative

Cell Phone Warning thanks to Keith Blake

QuotaBills
A friend to honesty and a foe to crime. - Allan Pinkerton

Goose Bumps: To keep geese from speeding - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Suspicion often creates what it suspects. - C S Lewis

Behind every great fortune there is a crime. - Honore de Balzac

A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door. - Unknown

Obviously crime pays, or there'd be no crime. - G. Gordon Liddy

All mothers have intuition. The great ones have radar. - Cathy Guisewite

Stop crime at its source - support planned parenthood. - Robert Byrne

Rape is the only crime in which the victim becomes the accused. - Freda Adler

Growth for the sake of growth is the ideology of the cancer cell. - Edward Abbey

Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. - George Bernard Shaw

I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist. - George Carlin

It is a lot harder now to be a police officer than what it used to be. - Steven Seagal

When some folks agree with my opinions I begin to suspect I'm wrong. - Kin Hubbard

Sleeping is my drug; my bed is my dealer; and my alarm clock is the police. - Unknown

I wanted a man who wouldn't stray so I'm dating a guy on house arrest. - Kim Bove

The police are not here to create disorder, they;re here to preserve disorder. - Richard J Daley

Outside of the killings, D.C. has one of the lowest crime rates in the country. - Marion Barry

I am kind of paranoid in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy. - J.D. Salinger

Tabloid: 1. A newspaper with a permanent crime wave; 2. A screamlined newspaper. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Never think that war, no matter how necessary, nor how justified, is not a crime. - Ernest Hemingway

Let's commit the perfect crime. I'll steal your heart, and you steal mine. - Meryl Streep

The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley

I'm the only woman who can walk in Central Park at night... and reduce the crime rate. - Phyllis Diller

If crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? - George Carlin

People are prisoners of their phones; that's why it's called a 'cell' phone. - Unknown

The police feel that most of the public are against them and that there is a lot of bad feeling. - Peter James

My physician has become warden of my medically imprisoned body, pharmaceuticals the bars on my cell. - Grey E. Livingston

We don't seem to be able to check crime, so why not legalize it and then tax it out of business. - Will Rogers

If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest. - Kin Hubbard

My cell phone is acting up - I keep pressing the home button but when I look around, I'm still at work. - Unknown

Women are like the police. They could have all the evidence in the world, but they still want the confession. - Chris Rock

In school, every period ends with a bell. Every sentence ends with a period. Every crime ends with a sentence. - Steven Wright

The true identity theft is not financial. It's not in cyberspace. It's spiritual. It's been taken. - Stephen Covey

The crime problem in New York is getting really serious. The other day the Statue of Liberty had both hands up. - Jay Leno

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

At the end of a marathon, it's going to hurt whether you're speeding up or slowing down. You may as well push. - Summer Sanders

I'm being kidnapped by a comforter, sheet and pillow. No need to call the police for I will be released by morning. - Unknown

Carry your courage in an easily accessible place, the way you do your cellphone or your wallet. Courage is the ultimate career move. - Anna Quindlen

Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list. - Yakov Smirnoff


Down Under Statue

Frankfurt Subway Entrance

Missing Mother-In-Law

I'll Be Right There

Flower Frame Heels

Studley Tool Chest

Dr. Hedgehog

Enjoy The View

Locks Of Love

Redneck Speed Bump

Save A Tree

Baby Papaya Crossing

So You Want A Day Off

Mexico Will Pay For The Wall

Behind Every Man

Truck Driver Birth

Motion Picture Selfie

FearBusters

Holy Day Inn

Fat Friend Prayer

Weather Rock - For Accurate Forecasts

Moses Parting the Ice Field

Nutella Face Lotion

Men in Denim