Car Couch

Greyhound Trainer: A race cur driver - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The patient always lies on the couch. - Unknown

Chop your own path. Get off the car track. - A.Y. Jackson

There are no traffic jams on the extra mile. - Zig Ziglar

A Chicken in Every Pot and a Car in Every Garage - Herbert Hoover

No one is in your mind - you are its only driver. - Unknown

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines. - David Letterman

Stress should be a powerful driving force, not an obstacle. - Bob Phillips

Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford

Belonging has always been a fundamental driver of humankind. - Brian Chesky

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

Destiny is a Paris driver pushing a taxicab with my name on it. - Frank Dane

Taxi Driver: Worker who earns a living by driving customers away - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Have fun, be active. Ride a bike instead of driving, for example. - Dan Buettner

We all thought we'd have flying cars by now, but we don't. - Dana Brunetti

Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand-break on. - Maxwell Maltz

When a police officer tells you to stay in the car, you stay in the car. - Reese Witherspoon

You ain't going nowhere, son. You ought to go back to driving a truck. - Jim Denny

A careful driver is one who honks his horn when he goes through a red light. - Henry Morgan

Couch Potato: What Mom finds under the sofa cushions after the kids eat dinner - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. - Erma Bombeck

I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars... the rest I squandered. - George Best

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha

The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. - Murray Walker

The drivers have one foot on the brake, one on the clutch, and one on the throttle. - Bob Varsha

Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown

Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you and scorn in the one ahead. - Mac McCleary

Sometimes when you look in his eyes you get the feeling that someone else is driving. - David Letterman

Drive-in banks were established so most of the cars today could see their real owners. - E. Joseph Crossman

When I got outta High School I was driving a truck. I was just a poor boy from Memphis. - Elvis Presley

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times. - Tim Allen

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright

The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver. - Jay Leno

Life as pool table,
White is focus,
Others, targets.
Stick is your driving force! - Stricketer

HonkoSecond: The time between the light turning green and the sound from the car horn behind you - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Most of American life is driving somewhere and then driving back wondering why the hell you went. - John Updike

Golden Age: When the kids are too old to need baby-sitters and too young to borrow the family car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There are only three ages for women in Hollywood: Babe, District Attorney, and Driving Miss Daisy. - Goldie Hawn

Police officers may drive black and white cars, however what goes on in their job is a lot of gray. - Arik Matson

When Henry Ford made cheap, reliable cars people said, 'Nah, what's wrong with a horse?' - Elon Musk

If I weren't skateboarding, I'd love to race cars. I like anything that's fast and active. - Ryan Sheckler

If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest. - Kin Hubbard

Television remote controls encourage couch potatoes to exercise their options while broadening their base. - William Arthur Ward

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pick-up truck, and end up with a station wagon. - Tim Allen

Truck Driver: 1. A man who has the opportunity to run into so many nice people; 2. A guy who goes the route. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Do you think you're safe in a car with your seatbelt on? Dream on. My friend thought so. Now she's pregnant. - Anke Engelke

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere. - Jay Shetty

If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 2,000 MPG. - Bill Gates

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

I'm not a car guy. The subway gets me where I need to go efficiently and cheaply, and I don't worry about traffic. - Joe Scarborough

She ran after the garbage truck yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?"
The driver said, "No, jump in!" - Red Skelton

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin

Don't let the age on your driver's license determine your season in life. Everyone's growing seasons look a bit different. - Vicki Kuyper

The rhythm of the footsteps, the sound of whatever is coming down the ladder is driving both me and my mom steadily toward peeing our pants. - Kendare Blake

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz

I should have suspected my husband was lazy. On our wedding day, his mother told me: "I'm not losing a son; I'm gaining a couch." - Phyllis Diller

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright