#1 humor site on the 'net

British Summer Installation

Following the latest weather in the U.K.

British Summer Installation thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Is summer available in your country?

QuotaBills
In summer, the song sings itself. - William C Williams

England is a nation of shopkeepers. - Napoleon Bonaparte

You bring your own weather to the picnic. - Harlan Coben

He was not only a bore; he bored for England. - Malcolm Muggeridge

Tea to the English is really a picnic indoors. - Alice Walker

Climate is what we expect. Weather is what we get. - Mark Twain

An end is in sight to the severe weather shortage. - Ian Macaskill

England can never be ruined except by a Parliament. - Lord Burleigh

Germlish: Training done using a mixture of English & German - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The coldest winter I ever spent was summer in San Francisco. - James Quin

The best thing I know between France and England is the sea. - Douglas Jerrold

The English winter - ending in July, to recommence in August. - Lord Byron

What Great Britain calls the Far East is to us the near north. - Robert Gordon Menzies

It is best to read the weather forecasts before we pray for rain. - Mark Twain

Britain's most useful role is somewhere between bee and dinosaur. - Harold MacMillan

The time will come when winter will ask what you were doing all summer. - Henry Clay

The English are not an inventive people; they don't eat enough pie. - Thomas Edison

The English have an extraordinary ability for flying into a great calm. - Alexander Woollcott

Civilization - a heap of rubble scavenged by scrawny English Lit. vultures. - Malcolm Muggeridge

News events are like Texas weather. If you don't like it, wait a minute. - Jessica Savitch

There are ways of singing in English that are not just the same as in French. - Coeur de Pirate

Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish. - Ted Whitehead

The most beautiful words in the English language are "cheque enclosed". - Dorothy Parker

Humour is practically the only thing about which the English are utterly serious. - Malcolm Muggeridge

It is only in sorrow bad weather masters us; in joy we face the storm and defy it. - Amelia Barr

The funniest line in English is "Get it?" When you say that, everyone chortles. - Garrison Keillor

Ireland is a small but insuppressible island half an hour nearer the sunset than Great Britain. - Thomas Kettle

We all get the same amount of ice. The rich get it in the summer. The poor get it in the winter. - Bat Masterson

A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain. - Robert Frost

I alone of English writers have consciously set myself to make music out of what I may call the sound of sense. - Robert Frost

No bum that can't speak poifect English oughta stay in this country - oughta be de-exported the hell outta here! - Archie Bunker

They invented the three-day bank holiday weekend because you can't lump all the bad weather into just Saturday and Sunday. - Unknown

'Good English' is whatever educated people talk; so that what is good in one place or time would not be so in another. - C S Lewis

Don't knock the weather. Nine-tenths of the people couldn't start a conversation if it didn't change once in a while. - Kin Hubbard

The long, dull, monotonous years of middle-aged prosperity or middle-aged adversity are excellent campaigning weather for the devil. - C S Lewis

For one swallow does not make a summer, nor does one day. And so too one day, or a short time, does not make a man blessed and happy. - Aristotle

In England people actually try to be brilliant at breakfast. That is so dreadful of them! Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast. - Oscar Wilde

The English eat all sorts of birds - pigeons, ducks, sparrows - but if you tell them you eat puffin, you might as well come from Mars. - Bjork

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence? - George Carlin

NBC News just called it "The Great Freeze" - coldest weather in years. Is our country still spending money on the global warming hoax? - Donald Trump


Redneck Cook

Owl Friends

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Economy Hit Hard

Baby Sidecar

Useless Fire Extinguishers

Diamond Ring TP

Senior's Paddle Surfboard

Fat to Fit

Jumping The Gun

Owl Rotation

Weakest Part

Wine Secret

Living Inside a Garbage Truck

Zebra Bus Stop

Egyptian Pyramid Scheme

Owl Skeleton

Mexorcist

Vegetarian MissSteak

VW Owner

Zoo Invitation

Robbie Knievel Tickets

Carb Cutter

Women's Rights