British Summer Installation

Weather forecast for tonight: dark. - George Carlin

England is a nation of shopkeepers. - Napoleon Bonaparte

He was not only a bore; he bored for England. - Malcolm Muggeridge

Tea to the English is really a picnic indoors. - Alice Walker

English Wrestling Champion: A lord of the ring - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

An end is in sight to the severe weather shortage. - Ian Macaskill

This is the sort of English up with which I will not put. - Winston Churchill

It is best to read the weather forecasts before we pray for rain. - Mark Twain

In England there are sixty different religions and only one sauce. - Francesco Caracciolo

This is perfect weather for today's game. Not a breath of air. - Curt Gowdy

Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it. - Charles Dudley Warner

England and America are two countries separated by a common language. - George Bernard Shaw

Ideal Summer Resort: A place where fish bite and mosquitoes don't - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The time will come when winter will ask what you were doing all summer. - Henry Clay

The English have an extraordinary ability for flying into a great calm. - Alexander Woollcott

Civilization - a heap of rubble scavenged by scrawny English Lit. vultures. - Malcolm Muggeridge

Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always bring your own sunshine. - Anthony J. D'Angelo

The people of England are never so happy as when you tell them they are ruined. - Arthur Murphy

Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish. - Ted Whitehead

Humour is practically the only thing about which the English are utterly serious. - Malcolm Muggeridge

On the Continent people have good food; in England people have good table manners. - George Mikes

There's nothing like an English weirdo. We have the best nutters in the world. - Sharon Osbourne

What good is the warmth of summer, without the cold of winter to give it sweetness. - John Steinbeck

I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining. - Groucho Marx

Never make fun of someone who speaks broken English. It means they know another language. - H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Let's get an extended weather forecast from a jittery, inconsistent, reddish brown rodent. - Unknown

Ireland is a small but insuppressible island half an hour nearer the sunset than Great Britain. - Thomas Kettle

Oats: A grain, which in England is generally given to horses, but in Scotland supports the people - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Although he tortures the English language, he has not yet succeeded in forcing it to reveal its meaning. - J B Morton

Be careful not to complain about anything, even the weather, since I am the Author of your circumstances. - Sarah Young

I alone of English writers have consciously set myself to make music out of what I may call the sound of sense. - Robert Frost

If it is good to have one foot in England, it is still better, or at least as good, to have the other out of it. - Henry James

The sudden appearance of mushrooms after a summer rain is one of the more impressive spectacles of the plant world. - John T Bonner

Isn't it a very curious thing that St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland an' the English brought in the fleas. - Frank McCourt

They invented the three-day bank holiday weekend because you can't lump all the bad weather into just Saturday and Sunday. - Unknown

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are,
"I'm from the government and I'm here to help." - Ronald Reagan

The trouble with weather forecasting is that it's right too often for us to ignore it, and wrong too often for us to rely on it. - Patrick Young

The long, dull, monotonous years of middle-aged prosperity or middle-aged adversity are excellent campaigning weather for the devil. - C S Lewis

The English eat all sorts of birds - pigeons, ducks, sparrows - but if you tell them you eat puffin, you might as well come from Mars. - Bjork

Cricket - a game which the English, not being a spiritual people, have invented in order to give themselves some conception of eternity. - Lord Mancroft