#1 humor site on the 'net

Blowing Out The Fire

How to put out paper fires at work

Blowing Out The Fire thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Art preparation for the next fire drill

QuotaBills
Genius is initiative on fire. - Holbrook Jackson

The best alarm clock is sunshine on chrome. - Unknown

Morning comes whether you set the alarm or not. - Ursula K. Le Guin

Since the house is on fire let us warm ourselves. - Italian Proverb

Blowing your own horn only makes other people go deaf. - Unknown

I set myself on fire, and the people come to see me burn. - John Wesley

People who fight fire with fire usually end up with ashes. - Abigail Van Buren

The Irish seem to have more fire about them than the Scots. - Sean Connery

So comes snow after fire, and even dragons have their endings. - JRR Tolkien

The mind is not a vessel to be filled, but a fire to be kindled. - Plutarch

She's mad but she's magic. There's no lie in her fire. - Charles Bukowski

Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire. - William Butler Yeats

Be enthusiastic as a leader. You can't light a fire with a wet match. - Unknown

Yesterday is ashes; tomorrow wood. Only today does the fire burn brightly. - Eskimo Proverb

The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl. - Dave Barry

Sleeping is my drug; my bed is my dealer; and my alarm clock is the police. - Unknown

A great wind is blowing, and that gives you either imagination or a headache. - Catherine the Great

Contentment consisteth not in adding more fuel, but in taking away some fire. - Thomas Fuller

Always give them the old fire, even when you feel like a squashed cake of ice. - Ethel Merman

As soon go kindle fire with snow, as seek to quench the fire of love with words. - William Shakespeare

Getting information off the Internet is like taking a drink from a fire hydrant. - Mitchell Kapor

Catch on fire with enthusiasm, and people will come for miles to watch you burn. - John Wesley

Success isn't a result of spontaneous combustion. You must set yourself on fire. - Arnold H Glasow

I took a physical for some life insurance. All they would give me was fire and theft. - Milton Berle

I do benefits for all religions - I'd hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality. - Bob Hope

Death is not extinguishing the light; it is putting out the lamp because dawn has come. - Rabindranath Tagore

A man can be short and dumpy and getting bald, but if he has fire, women will like him. - Mae West

A cold wind was blowing from the north, and it made the trees rustle like living things. - George R.R. Martin

If crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? - George Carlin

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire? - Unknown

Just 'cause there's snow in the basement don't mean there ain't no fire in the roof! - Archie Bunker

Can we be casual in the work of God—casual when the house is on fire, and people in danger of being burned? - Duncan Campbell

Years steal fire from the mind as vigor from the limb; and life's enchanted cup but sparkles near the brim. - Lord Byron

I'm not just retiring from the company, I'm also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron. - Hartman Jule

In case of fire, don't panic. Simply flee the building with the same reckless abandon that occurs each day at quitting time. - Don Delcourt

You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.' - Jerry Seinfeld

There are two kinds of people who blow through life like a breeze,
And one kind is gossipers, and the other kind is gossipees. - Ogden Nash

You have to have a vision. It's got to be a vision you articulate clearly and forcefully. You can't blow an uncertain trumpet. - Rev. Theodore Hesburgh

To have a curable illness and to leave it untreated except for prayer is like sticking your hand in a fire and asking God to remove the flame. - Sandra L. Douglas

Well, yes, I've fired a lot of people. Generally I like other people to fire, because it's always a lousy task. But I have fired many people. - Donald Trump


Media Bondage

How Cumulus Clouds Are Formed

Sports Hernias

Low Expectation Autographs

The Moist Wet Territories

Cat Doormat

Redneck Foosball

Shining Stars

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Bach Flip

Apathy Mountain

My Toaster Is Broken

Solemate

Double Vision

Please Help My Car

Adultery

Moses' USB Tablets

Virus Update

Carnations vs. Roses

Waterproof Notepad

Sudoku Cats

Harlie's Angel

Ladder Load

Road To Nowhere