Birth Control At Its Finest

Grief is itself a medicine. - William Cowper

Maternity Hospital: An heirport - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid

No medicine cures what happiness cannot. - Gabriel G Marquez

The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin

Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. - Lord Byron

Raising kids is a walk in the park. Jurassic Park. - Unknown

My music isn't just music - it's medicine. - Unknown

Raising kids is part joy and part guerrilla warfare. - Ed Asner

Why is it we never get our bad medicine in small doses? - Edmund H North

I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards. - Henny Youngman

A nurse will always give us hope, an angel with a stethoscope. - Terri Guillemets

If pregnancy were a book, they would cut the last two chapters. - Nora Ephron

My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes

Medicine is only for those who cannot imagine doing anything else. - Luanda Grazette

My Birth Certificate is so old, it's written in Roman Numerals. - Bill Carter

When it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain. - Graham Norton

Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield

Hopefully, kids realize you can do anything you want. Skateboarding can be that gateway. - Ryan Sheckler

The latest thing in psychiatry is group therapy. Instead of couches, they use bunk beds. - Henny Youngman

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

We go by the major vote, and if the majority are insane, the sane must go to the hospital. - Horace Mann

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright

I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne

You might be a nurse if you firmly believe that "too stupid to live" should be a diagnosis. - Unknown

Many people find themselves with illness as they become successful: higher blood pressure and diabetes. - Zong Qinghou

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

Recommending gastric bypass as a national solution for our diabetes epidemic is bad medicine and bad economics. - Mark Hyman

Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden

Only one rule in medical ethics need concern you: that action on your part which best conserves the interest of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer

There's no such thing as a soul. It's just something they made up to scare kids, like the bogeyman or Michael Jackson. - Bart Simpson

It is reasonable to expect the doctor to recognize that science may not have all the answers to problems of health and healing. - Norman Cousins

I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman

One of the signs of passing youth is the birth of a sense of fellowship with other human beings as we take our place among them. - Virginia Woolf

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

I see God in every human being. When I wash the leper's wounds, I feel I am nursing the Lord himself. Is it not a beautiful experience? - Mother Teresa

If you want your kids to listen to you, don't yell at them. Whisper. Make them lean in. My kids taught me that. I do it with adults now. - Mario Batali

There are three subjects on which the knowledge of the medical profession in general is woefully weak; they are manners, morals, and medicine. - Gerald F Lieberman

If your kids are giving you a headache, follow the directions on the aspirin bottle, especially the part that says, 'keep away from children.' - Susan Savannah

In other industries, value is defined by the ultimate stakeholder - the one who benefits, or not, from the service. We should do the same in medicine. - Dave deBronkart