#1 humor site on the 'net

Birth Control At Its Finest

Preventing back seat accidents

Birth Control At Its Finest thanks to Keith Blake

QuotaBills
Birth patrol pills. - Archie Bunker

Society is a hospital of incurables. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Borscht: Beet soup with high blood pressure - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I went to a massage parlor. It was self service. - Rodney Dangerfield

The greatest healing therapy is friendship and love. - Hubert H Humphrey

Surgeon: The person who was a cut-up at medical school - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Why is it we never get our bad medicine in small doses? - Edmund H North

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on. - Joan Rivers

Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown

A nurse will always give us hope, an angel with a stethoscope. - Terri Guillemets

Water Hazard: Giving the kids too much to drink before a road trip - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir. - Thomas Fuller

Kids. They're not easy. But there has to be some penalty for sex. - Bill Maher

Save one life, you're a hero. Save 100 lives, you're a nurse. - Unknown

Bed and Breakfast: Two things the kids will never make for themselves - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I do believe that laughter is the best medicine - it cures everything. - Radhika Apte

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb

The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any. - Fred Astaire

When it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain. - Graham Norton

A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh

Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born? - Benny Hill

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire

My wife and I have a tradition of popcorn and videos with our kids on Friday evenings. - Ozwald Boateng

If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like. - Phyllis Diller

Zucchini: Vegetable which can be baked, boiled, fried or steamed before kids refuse to eat it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

All kids are trouble, Edith. And I don't wanna spend my reclining years trying to raise another one. - Archie Bunker

You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby. - Jim Gaffigan

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shovelling the walk before it stops snowing. - Phyllis Diller

One in four kids have either pre-diabetes or diabetes - what I like to call diabesity. How did this happen? - Mark Hyman

I love to go to a movie, get a Diet Coke and a barrel of popcorn, and sit there with my kids and watch a film. - William Shatner

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno

The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick

The trained nurse has become one of the great blessings of humanity, taking a place beside the physician and the priest. - William Osler

I'm planning to adopt a dog soon. It wasn't my first choice but my Doctor told me I can't have any biologically. - Bill Murray

If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt

A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown

I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman

A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer

Having kids - the responsibility of rearing good, kind, ethical, responsible human beings - is the biggest job anyone can embark on. - Maria Shriver


Restored Beauty

Powerplant Swimsuit Models

Watermelon Cake

Sharkini

Julyed

Filet Minion

Better Singer

Texas Basketball

Grow Food, Not Lawns

Nut Salesman

Long Yellow Things

Ants Know When Something Is Fake

Think Outside

Despicable Wood Stove

Engineering Flowchart

Egotist

Hunter's Dream Wedding

Paddy Field Canal

Grow A Boyfriend

Mars Images

Drumset Motorcycle

Brick Shoes

Custer's Last Stand?

Hand Held Tourist