Birth Control At Its Finest

Medicine is the best medicine. - Doctors Anonymous

The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker

False Doctrine: Giving people the wrong medicine - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food. - Hippocrates

Raising kids is part joy and part guerrilla warfare. - Ed Asner

The greatest healing therapy is friendship and love. - Hubert H Humphrey

Nursing would be a dream job if there were no doctors. - Gerhard Kocher

I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards. - Henny Youngman

A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer

One year they wanted to make me poster boy - for birth control. - Rodney Dangerfield

Medicine is a science of uncertainty and an art of probability. - William Osler

Medicine is only for those who cannot imagine doing anything else. - Luanda Grazette

A very small degree of hope is sufficient to cause the birth of love. - Stendhal

The last mosquito that bit me had to check into the Betty Ford clinic. - Joanna Lumley

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb

Short of screaming-hot Thai food, everything can be suitable for kids too. - Guy Fieri

The good-news stories in medicine are early detection, early intervention. - Thomas R Insel

If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

Hopefully, kids realize you can do anything you want. Skateboarding can be that gateway. - Ryan Sheckler

I learn things from my kids constantly. Most of their knowledge comes from Snapple caps. - Jimmy Kimmel

The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer

Physiology is the stepchild of medicine. That is why Cinderella often turns out the queen. - Martin H. Fischer

We go by the major vote, and if the majority are insane, the sane must go to the hospital. - Horace Mann

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright

Zucchini: Vegetable which can be baked, boiled, fried or steamed before kids refuse to eat it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles

I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne

Many people find themselves with illness as they become successful: higher blood pressure and diabetes. - Zong Qinghou

We cannot embrace God's forgiveness if we are so busy clinging to past wounds and nursing old grudges. - T D Jakes

In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer

I want my kids to have the things in life that I never had when I was growing up. Things like beards and chest hair. - Jarod Kintz

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

The climate, the economic situation, rising birth rates; none of these things give me a lot of hope or reason to be optimistic. - David Attenborough

I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman

One of the signs of passing youth is the birth of a sense of fellowship with other human beings as we take our place among them. - Virginia Woolf

Technology is just a tool. In terms of getting the kids working together and motivating them, the teacher is the most important. - Bill Gates

Once in your life you need a doctor, a lawyer, a policeman, and a preacher... but every day, three times a day, you need a farmer. - Brenda Schaepp