Birth Control At Its Finest

Quack: A duck's Doctor - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Grief is itself a medicine. - William Cowper

Clinic: House of pill repute. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Lap Top: Where little kids feel comfy - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

An operation of the most extreme daring. - Alfred Jodl

Eat: What kids do between meals, but not at them - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown

If pregnancy were a book, they would cut the last two chapters. - Nora Ephron

One year they wanted to make me poster boy - for birth control. - Rodney Dangerfield

Document: Repeating what your Doctor told you in your own words - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Chiropractor: A Doctor who works his fingers to the bone - yours - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There is no cure for birth and death, save to enjoy the interval. - George Santayana

My doctor said I look like a million dollars - green and wrinkled. - Red Skelton

My Birth Certificate is so old, it's written in Roman Numerals. - Bill Carter

The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir. - Thomas Fuller

The last mosquito that bit me had to check into the Betty Ford clinic. - Joanna Lumley

Joy is more divine than sorrow, for joy is bread and sorrow is medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

Short of screaming-hot Thai food, everything can be suitable for kids too. - Guy Fieri

Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born? - Benny Hill

Grave: A place in which the dead are laid to await the coming of the medical student - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Co-Operation: An exchange between a woman and a man in which she coos and he operates - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

No one escapes his fate, not the coward, nor the brakeman, from the moment of his birth. - Homer

If we would listen to our kids, we'd discover that they are largely self-explanatory. - Robert Brault

Physiology is the stepchild of medicine. That is why Cinderella often turns out the queen. - Martin H. Fischer

I've just become a pensioner so I've started saving up for my own hospital trolley. - Tom Baker

I have had my television aerials removed. It is the moral equivalent of a prostate operation. - Malcolm Muggeridge

Medicine, the only profession that labours incessantly to destroy the reason for its own existence. - James Bryce

To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead. - Thomas Paine

There are some things in life where it's better to receive than to give, and massage is one of them. - Al Michaels

Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Recommending gastric bypass as a national solution for our diabetes epidemic is bad medicine and bad economics. - Mark Hyman

My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle

The public blabbers about preventive medicine, but will neither appreciate nor pay for it. You get paid for what you cure. - Martin H. Fischer

I'm planning to adopt a dog soon. It wasn't my first choice but my Doctor told me I can't have any biologically. - Bill Murray

As an experienced artist, I carry my work like a secret pregnancy. I am always aware of inner life and the need to protect it. - Julia Cameron

Technology is just a tool. In terms of getting the kids working together and motivating them, the teacher is the most important. - Bill Gates

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

I see God in every human being. When I wash the leper's wounds, I feel I am nursing the Lord himself. Is it not a beautiful experience? - Mother Teresa

A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer

Paul Revere was warning the British about gun control, and George Washington apparently was crossing the Delaware to bomb an abortion clinic. - Bill Maher