Birth Control At Its Finest

God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin

Germs: The only things kids will share freely - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington

The greatest healing therapy is friendship and love. - Hubert H Humphrey

A nurse will always give us hope, an angel with a stethoscope. - Terri Guillemets

One year they wanted to make me poster boy - for birth control. - Rodney Dangerfield

Save one life, you're a hero. Save 100 lives, you're a nurse. - Unknown

Confucius say: "Man who want pretty nurse, must be patient." - Unknown

I do believe that laughter is the best medicine - it cures everything. - Radhika Apte

Raising kids make most people, including me, grow up at least a little. - Madonna

This is a sharp medicine, but it is a physician for all diseases and miseries. - Sir Walter Raleigh

I'm not buying my kids an encyclopedia. Let them walk to school like I did. - Yogi Berra

Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild

If you want to get out of medicine the fullest enjoyment, be students all your lives. - David Riesman

If we would listen to our kids, we'd discover that they are largely self-explanatory. - Robert Brault

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright

I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne

Most religious people accept medicine as a gift from God and reap the benefits of both realms. - Caroline Fraser

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles

When you’re a nurse you know that every day you will touch a life or a life will touch yours. - Unknown

To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead. - Thomas Paine

Every boy needs a role model that he can be proud of and talk about to the other kids in the playground. - Athol Fugard

You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby. - Jim Gaffigan

We cannot embrace God's forgiveness if we are so busy clinging to past wounds and nursing old grudges. - T D Jakes

Recommending gastric bypass as a national solution for our diabetes epidemic is bad medicine and bad economics. - Mark Hyman

Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped. - Sam Levenson

Menopause: because nature decided that pregnancy, labor, delivery, breastfeeding, and stretch marks wasn't enough. - Unknown

A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown

You know your kids are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going. - P.J. O'Rourke

Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw

Technology is just a tool. In terms of getting the kids working together and motivating them, the teacher is the most important. - Bill Gates

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin

The Pentagon still has not given a name to the Iraqi war. Somehow 'Operation Re-elect Bush' doesn't seem to be popular. - Jay Leno

When it comes to hockey, it's been in my blood since I was 3 or 4 years old. I love coaching the kids, especially at that level. - Mario Lemieux

Lost wealth may be replaced by industry; lost knowledge by study; lost health by temperance or medicine; but lost time is gone forever. - Samuel Smiles

Paul Revere was warning the British about gun control, and George Washington apparently was crossing the Delaware to bomb an abortion clinic. - Bill Maher

I think, at a child's birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity. - Eleanor Roosevelt