Birth Control At Its Finest

Clinic: House of pill repute. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Caring is the essence of nursing. - Jean Watson

One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb

Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid

The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin

Raising kids is a walk in the park. Jurassic Park. - Unknown

No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb

Juvenile Delinquency: Modern term for what we did as kids - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Kids are life's only guaranteed bona fide upside surprise. - Jack Nicholson

On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me. - Rodney Dangerfield

One year they wanted to make me poster boy - for birth control. - Rodney Dangerfield

Water Hazard: Giving the kids too much to drink before a road trip - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. - Red Buttons

Chocolate is cheaper than therapy, and you don't need an appointment. - Unknown

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. - Rodney Dangerfield

Short of screaming-hot Thai food, everything can be suitable for kids too. - Guy Fieri

Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley

If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb

Spoiled Rotten: What the kids become after as little as 15 minutes with Grandma - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Poisons and medicine are oftentimes the same substance given with different intents. - Peter Mere Latham

If we would listen to our kids, we'd discover that they are largely self-explanatory. - Robert Brault

Energy: Element of vitality kids always have an oversupply of until asked to do something - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like. - Phyllis Diller

If you get a diagnosis, get on a therapy, keep a good attitude and keep your sense of humor. - Teri Garr

Constant attention by a good nurse may be just as important as a major operation by a surgeon. - Dag Hammarskjold

I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer

The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer

The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull

Kindness and a generous spirit go a long way. And a sense of humor. It's like medicine - very healing. - Max Irons

One in four kids have either pre-diabetes or diabetes - what I like to call diabesity. How did this happen? - Mark Hyman

Recommending gastric bypass as a national solution for our diabetes epidemic is bad medicine and bad economics. - Mark Hyman

Despite all our toil and progress, the art of medicine still falls somewhere between trout casting and spook writing. - Ben Hecht

The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick

'Psychotherapy' is a private, confidential conversation that has nothing to do with illness, medicine, or healing. - Thomas Szasz

Only one rule in medical ethics need concern you: that action on your part which best conserves the interest of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer

There's no such thing as a soul. It's just something they made up to scare kids, like the bogeyman or Michael Jackson. - Bart Simpson

A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer

If you want your kids to listen to you, don't yell at them. Whisper. Make them lean in. My kids taught me that. I do it with adults now. - Mario Batali

Without this playing with fantasy no creative work has ever yet come to birth. The debt we owe to the play of the imagination is incalculable. - Carl Jung

There are three subjects on which the knowledge of the medical profession in general is woefully weak; they are manners, morals, and medicine. - Gerald F Lieberman