QuotaBillsAfford: Popular type of car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Didn't he take the exercise tax off cars? - Archie Bunker
Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx
Yacht: 1. A floating debt; 2. Stretch limo of the seas. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
One more stage, one more limo, one more run for your life. - John Lennon
The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore
A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. - Carrie Snow
You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy
I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. - Erma Bombeck
When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip
The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. - Murray Walker
Drive-in banks were established so most of the cars today could see their real owners. - E. Joseph Crossman
The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker
They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times. - Tim Allen
HonkoSecond: The time between the light turning green and the sound from the car horn behind you - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries
Golden Age: When the kids are too old to need baby-sitters and too young to borrow the family car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck
Police officers may drive black and white cars, however what goes on in their job is a lot of gray. - Arik Matson
I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright
When Henry Ford made cheap, reliable cars people said, 'Nah, what's wrong with a horse?' - Elon Musk
If I weren't skateboarding, I'd love to race cars. I like anything that's fast and active. - Ryan Sheckler
I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby
There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino
Life is like a taxi. The meter just keeps a-ticking whether you are getting somewhere or just standing still. - Lou Erickso
Poverty: 1. A state of mind sometimes induced by a neighbour's new car; 2. One thing that money can't buy. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Do you think you're safe in a car with your seatbelt on? Dream on. My friend thought so. Now she's pregnant. - Anke Engelke
For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi
I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright
The actual building of roads devoted to motor cars is not for the near future, in spite of many rumors to that effect. - Harper's Weekly
A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere. - Jay Shetty
Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor
My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck
I'm not a car guy. The subway gets me where I need to go efficiently and cheaply, and I don't worry about traffic. - Joe Scarborough
I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright
A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt
A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman
My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz
When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright