#1 humor site on the 'net

Back Massage Track

How to get the kids to give you a back massage

Back Massage Track thanks to Marian Renstrom

Kids lend a helping hand to Dad

QuotaBills
Go back a little to leap further. - John Clarke

Pedestrian: a man whose son is home from college. - Unknown

The genie can't be pushed back into the bottle. - David N Leff

Everybody falls, but only winners get back on their feet. - Unknown

My Father had a profound influence on me, he was a lunatic. - Spike Milligan

The innkeeper loves the drunkard, but not for a son-in-law. - Yiddish Proverb

Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to? - George Carlin

When somebody challenges you, fight back. Be brutal, be tough. - Donald Trump

I'm super laid back. I'm from Texas. I love my family. - Selena Gomez

People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life. - Faith Resnick

It's good to see you. It means you're not behind my back. - Henny Youngman

He'll be coming back and back and back, like a chronicle rash. - Archie Bunker

Do you mind if I sit back a little? Because your breath is very bad. - Donald Trump

I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time. - Steven Wright

Forgive your enemies - if you can't get back at them any other way. - Franklin P. Jones

I quit therapy because my analyst was trying to help me behind my back. - Richard Lewis

Don't talk about a rope in the house of someone whose father was hung. - Colin Farrell

I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport. - Henny Youngman

The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother. - Henry Ward Beecher

Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n puttin' it back. - Will Rogers

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back in your pocket. - Will Rogers

It is easier for a father to have children than for children to have a real father. - Pope John XXIII

Confidence is like a dragon where, for every head cut off, two more heads grow back. - Criss Jami

My father used to say, "Don't raise your voice. Improve your argument." - Desmond Tutu

Look back in forgiveness, forward in hope, down in compassion, and up with gratitude. - Zig Ziglar

There goes Juantorena down the back straight, opening his legs and showing his class. - David Coleman

I can get motivated seeing a kid at my son's school overcome a learning disability. - Jason Alexander

My brother Bob doesn't want to be in government - he promised Dad he'd go straight. - John F Kennedy

If you have zest and enthusiasm, you attract zest and enthusiasm. Life does give back in kind. - Norman Vincent Peale

I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison. - WC Fields

A good use for me is to let me go away with my sewing machine and come back with some really new stuff. - Betsey Johnson

I want to die like my father; peacefully in his sleep, not screaming and terrified, like his passengers. - Bob Monkhouse

Our memories are card indexes consulted, and then put back in disorder, by authorities whom we do not control. - Cyril Connolly

When one has reached eighty-one, one likes to sit back and let the world turn by itself, without trying to push it. - Sean O'Casey

I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent back a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof. - Rodney Dangerfield

It's impossible to give without having it come back to you. And it's impossible to keep what you won't give away. - Unknown

God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believed in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. - John 3:16

I'd love to see Christ come back to crush the spirit of hate and make men put down their guns. I'd also like just one more hit single. - Tiny Tim

I've never been able to grow an organ back," Lana said. "Last time I tried... Let's just hope you don't end up with whip eyes. - Michael Grant

I'm always tinkering with something - suddenly I'll think I can work with wood, but then I'll realize I can't, so I go back to sewing. - Melissa McCarthy


Tennis Hammock

Fare Dodger

Husband of the Year

Bolder Boulder

Shoe Stop

Exactly How I Feel

Circle Of Life

Outback Waterhole

Next Week Plans

Cycle Feeding Your Cows

The Fall Of Adam

John The Baptist Souvenirs

Boat Hurdles

Bread Slice

Steak Sale

Take Away Food

Creative Vandalism

History Doesn't Repeat Itself

Flamingo Predator

Irish Pub Restroom

Like This

Instant Engine Starting Down Under

DHL Express

Bike Fence