Baby Shower

Deceitful: Infant who needs changing - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Babies are such a nice way to start people. - Don Herold

Infancy conforms to nobody; all conform to it. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Ever notice how baby shampoo smells like spring? - Toni Sorenson

There are no premature babies, only delayed weddings. - American Proverb

The great man is one who never loses his child’s heart. - Mencius

The only thing worth stealing is a kiss from a sleeping child. - Joe Houldsworth

One year they wanted to make me poster boy - for birth control. - Rodney Dangerfield

Never help a child with a task at which he feels he can succeed. - Maria Montessori

Yachting: standing in a cold shower tearing up hundred-dollar bills. - Unknown

Having a baby is like trying to push a grand piano through a transom. - Alice Roosevelt Longworth

When I was a child what I wanted to be when I grew up was an invalid. - Quentin Crisp

There's only one pretty child in the world, and every mother has it. - English Proverb

Baby: a loud noise at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other. - Ronald Knox

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five. - Groucho Marx

The four stages of man are infancy, childhood, adolescence, and obsolescence. - Art Linkletter

Seek the wisdom of the ages, but look at the world through the eyes of a child. - Ron Wild

Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born? - Benny Hill

Who is more foolish, the child afraid of the dark or the man afraid of the light? - Maurice Freehill

Kidney: 1. Midpoint of a child's leg; 2. An organ used to convert beer into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Vasectomy: 1. Never having to say you're sorry; 2. Spoil the rod. Spare the child. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

When I see my granddaughters make small discoveries of their own, I wish I were a child. - Dr. Seuss

No one escapes his fate, not the coward, nor the brakeman, from the moment of his birth. - Homer

Judging a child taking his first steps for not being able to run a marathon is shortsighted. - Tyler Winklevoss

As a child, I was subjected to a lot of spaghetti Westerns and hated them. I wanted the Indians to win. - Kara Walker

If the loss of shame was the child of secularization, the loss of reason is the child of pluralization. - Ravi Zacharias

I never used to like babies. I'd always thought if a baby were more like a chimpanzee, I'd have one. - Candice Bergen

The child should gain no request by anger; when he is quiet let him be offered what was refused when he wept. - Seneca

Play is a vital learning medium for a child. In a sense play is his work. And he discovers knowledge for himself. - Raymond Moore

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth, then it just becomes a soap opera. - Unknown

Since people are going to be living longer and getting older, they'll just have to learn how to be babies longer. - Andy Warhol

Menopause: because nature decided that pregnancy, labor, delivery, breastfeeding, and stretch marks wasn't enough. - Unknown

As an experienced artist, I carry my work like a secret pregnancy. I am always aware of inner life and the need to protect it. - Julia Cameron

He adopted a role called being a father so that his child would have something mythical and infinitely important: a protector. - Tom Wolfe

I was not a child prodigy, because a child prodigy is a child who knows as much when it is a child as it does when it grows up. - Will Rogers

One of the signs of passing youth is the birth of a sense of fellowship with other human beings as we take our place among them. - Virginia Woolf

No one ever wants to see his or her name linked to anything bad. Conscience is like a baby. It has to go to sleep before you can. - Harvey Mackay

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner

Our babies are like penguins; penguin babies can't exist unless more than one person is taking care of them. They just can't keep going. - Alison Gopnik

Forgiveness is the answer to the child's dream of a miracle by which what is broken is made whole again, what is soiled is made clean again. - Dag Hammarskjold