#1 humor site on the 'net

Baby Shower

Baby's surprise for Dad

Baby Shower thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

What baby brings to the Baby Shower

Baby Shower thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Baby Shower thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
Success is the child of audacity. - Benjamin Disraeli

A child is a curly dimpled lunatic. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Stoic: De boid what brings de babies - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A baby is an inestimable blessing and a bother. - Mark Twain

There are no premature babies, only delayed weddings. - American Proverb

A child educated only at school is an uneducated child. - George Santayana

Man's main task in life is to give birth to himself. - Erich Fromm

A child seldom needs a good talking to as a good listening to. - Robert Brault

The only thing worth stealing is a kiss from a sleeping child. - Joe Houldsworth

Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying. - Fran Lebowitz

Mick Jagger could French-kiss a moose. He has child-bearing lips. - Joan Rivers

My Birth Certificate is so old, it's written in Roman Numerals. - Bill Carter

Having a baby is like trying to push a grand piano through a transom. - Alice Roosevelt Longworth

Ma-ma does everything for the baby, who responds by saying Da-da first. - Mignon McLaughlin

Clients don't care about the labor pains; they want to see the baby. - Tim Williams

Back then the women had babies, which they called in them days, begatten. - Archie Bunker

As a child, I was more afraid of tetanus shots than, for example, Dracula. - Dave Barry

Baby: a loud noise at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other. - Ronald Knox

All my life through, the new sights of Nature made me rejoice like a child. - Marie Curie

At the base and birth of every successful venture you will find an enthusiast. - Winston Churchill

The most effective kind of education is that a child should play amongst lovely things. - Plato

Television has changed the American child from an irresistable force to an immovable object. - Laurence J Peter

Sprouts: Innocent green plants snatched in their infancy and devoured alive by ravenous vegetarians - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

It is an act of love to say, "I believe in you as my child, and you don't need my help." - Peter Buffett

Teaching a child not to step on a caterpillar is as valuable to the child as it is to the caterpillar. - Bradley Miller

If a child, a spouse, a life partner, or a parent depends on you and your income, you need life insurance. - Suze Orman

One thing I had learned from watching chimpanzees with their infants is that having a child should be fun. - Jane Goodall

I never used to like babies. I'd always thought if a baby were more like a chimpanzee, I'd have one. - Candice Bergen

Milk is the drink of babies, tea the drink of women, water the drink of beasts, and wine is the drink of the gods. - John S Blackie

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped. - Sam Levenson

Do you think you're safe in a car with your seatbelt on? Dream on. My friend thought so. Now she's pregnant. - Anke Engelke

Spare the rod and spoil the child - that is true. But, beside the rod, keep an apple to give him when he has done well. - Martin Luther

There's nothing that can help you understand your beliefs more than trying to explain them to an inquisitive child. - Frank A. Clark

Every time a child says, "I don't believe in fairies," there is a little fairy somewhere that falls down dead. - Sir James M. Barrie

He adopted a role called being a father so that his child would have something mythical and infinitely important: a protector. - Tom Wolfe

Grandparent: 1. One who knows that spanking is unnecessary; 2. The simplest toy, one which even the youngest child can operate. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner

Forgiveness is the answer to the child's dream of a miracle by which what is broken is made whole again, what is soiled is made clean again. - Dag Hammarskjold

Being a dad isn't just about eating a huge bag of gummy bears as your wife gives birth. It means being comfortable with the word 'hero.' - Ryan Reynolds


Tent Peg Setup

Fang Treats

Model T Snowmobile

Skinny Puddy Tat

Redneck Cocktail

Drug Dog Search

Vice Grip Handles

Nouveau Riche

Triple Bypass Burger

Hyphenated Names

Indian Fish Pond

Lunch Anyone?

Wet T-Shirt Contest Winners

Giraffe Lunch

Bathroom Celebration

Tennis Ball Retriever

One

Tonsil Ring

Brew Haul-her - 12 Brewskies At A Time

Anon-y-moose

Redneck Beer Opener

Greek Monk

Dates For Everyone

Max Occupancy Rounded to 100