Baby Shower

Success is the child of audacity. - Benjamin Disraeli

A child is a curly dimpled lunatic. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Stoic: De boid what brings de babies - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A baby is an inestimable blessing and a bother. - Mark Twain

There are no premature babies, only delayed weddings. - American Proverb

A child educated only at school is an uneducated child. - George Santayana

Man's main task in life is to give birth to himself. - Erich Fromm

A child seldom needs a good talking to as a good listening to. - Robert Brault

The only thing worth stealing is a kiss from a sleeping child. - Joe Houldsworth

Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying. - Fran Lebowitz

Mick Jagger could French-kiss a moose. He has child-bearing lips. - Joan Rivers

My Birth Certificate is so old, it's written in Roman Numerals. - Bill Carter

Having a baby is like trying to push a grand piano through a transom. - Alice Roosevelt Longworth

Ma-ma does everything for the baby, who responds by saying Da-da first. - Mignon McLaughlin

Clients don't care about the labor pains; they want to see the baby. - Tim Williams

Back then the women had babies, which they called in them days, begatten. - Archie Bunker

As a child, I was more afraid of tetanus shots than, for example, Dracula. - Dave Barry

Baby: a loud noise at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other. - Ronald Knox

All my life through, the new sights of Nature made me rejoice like a child. - Marie Curie

At the base and birth of every successful venture you will find an enthusiast. - Winston Churchill

The most effective kind of education is that a child should play amongst lovely things. - Plato

Television has changed the American child from an irresistable force to an immovable object. - Laurence J Peter

Sprouts: Innocent green plants snatched in their infancy and devoured alive by ravenous vegetarians - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

It is an act of love to say, "I believe in you as my child, and you don't need my help." - Peter Buffett

Teaching a child not to step on a caterpillar is as valuable to the child as it is to the caterpillar. - Bradley Miller

If a child, a spouse, a life partner, or a parent depends on you and your income, you need life insurance. - Suze Orman

One thing I had learned from watching chimpanzees with their infants is that having a child should be fun. - Jane Goodall

I never used to like babies. I'd always thought if a baby were more like a chimpanzee, I'd have one. - Candice Bergen

Milk is the drink of babies, tea the drink of women, water the drink of beasts, and wine is the drink of the gods. - John S Blackie

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped. - Sam Levenson

Do you think you're safe in a car with your seatbelt on? Dream on. My friend thought so. Now she's pregnant. - Anke Engelke

Spare the rod and spoil the child - that is true. But, beside the rod, keep an apple to give him when he has done well. - Martin Luther

There's nothing that can help you understand your beliefs more than trying to explain them to an inquisitive child. - Frank A. Clark

Every time a child says, "I don't believe in fairies," there is a little fairy somewhere that falls down dead. - Sir James M. Barrie

He adopted a role called being a father so that his child would have something mythical and infinitely important: a protector. - Tom Wolfe

Grandparent: 1. One who knows that spanking is unnecessary; 2. The simplest toy, one which even the youngest child can operate. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner

Forgiveness is the answer to the child's dream of a miracle by which what is broken is made whole again, what is soiled is made clean again. - Dag Hammarskjold

Being a dad isn't just about eating a huge bag of gummy bears as your wife gives birth. It means being comfortable with the word 'hero.' - Ryan Reynolds