Attic Spring Cleaning

Illusion is the first of all pleasures. - Oscar Wilde

A spotless house is a sign of a misspent life. - Unknown

There will be no whitewash at the White House. - Richard M Nixon

A man in the house is worth two in the street. - Mae West

At my house, Dust is a noun, not a verb. - Unknown

Clean your finger before you point at my spots. - Benjamin Franklin

He'd go through the house like Typhoon Mary. - Archie Bunker

Without love, the rich and poor live in the same house. - Unknown

He taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. - Albert Einstein

A house with old furniture has no need of ghosts to be haunted. - Hope Mirrlees

You don't get anything clean without getting something else dirty. - Cecil Baxter

Don't talk about a rope in the house of someone whose father was hung. - Colin Farrell

I bought a house on a one-way dead-end road. I don't know how I got there. - Steven Wright

My friend Sam has one leg. I went to his house. I couldn't go up the stairs. - Steven Wright

Architect: One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money. - Ambrose Bierce

I love contemporary art, although I wouldn't want a pickled shark in my house. - Bruno Tonioli

What is the use of a house if you haven’t got a tolerable planet to put it on? - Henry David Thoreau

The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. - George Bernard Shaw

The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance - it is the illusion of knowledge. - Daniel J. Boorstin

Do you know what White House correspondents call actors who pose as reporters? Anchors. - Jay Leno

I had the most boring office job in the world - I used to clean the windows on envelopes. - Rita Rudner

If you want to see me, come over anytime. If you want to see my house, make an appointment. - Unknown

People say satire is dead. It's not dead; it's alive and living in the White House. - Robin Williams

We live in a fantasy world, a world of illusion. The great task in life is to find reality. - Irish Murdoch

I want a house with a garden, but slap bang in the centre of London. Next door to a sushi bar. - Michelle Dockery

If we build in the desert, let the house know the desert and the desert be proud of the house. - Frank Lloyd Wright

The fantasy of every Australian man is to have two women - one cleaning and the other dusting. - Maurenn Murphy

It's not my fault I was dragged out of my house by a mob and forced to predict the weather. - Punxsutawney Phil

He hath eaten me out of house and home; he hath put all my substance into that fat belly of his. - William Shakespeare

I love eating sushi and eating raw and clean - no pasta and bread. Low carbs is what works for me. - Christine Teigen

The illusion that the times that were are better than those that are has probably pervaded all ages. - Horace Greeley

You need a plan to build a house. To build a life, it is even more important to have a plan or goal. - Zig Ziglar

A woman should cleave into her husband. Right here in this house is where Edith's cleavage belongs. - Archie Bunker

Gonna be incrimated... they're gonna keep the ashes around the house in one of them silver urinals. - Archie Bunker

There's nothing to match curling up with a good book when there's a repair job to be done around the house. - Joe Ryan

I am like a pelican of the wilderness: I am like an owl of the desert. I watch, and am as a sparrow alone upon the house-top. - Bible

Love easily confuses us because it is always in flux between illusion and substance, between memory and wish, between contentment and need. - Tom Robbins

Science is built of facts the way a house is built of bricks; but an accumulation of facts is no more science than a pile of bricks is a house. - Henri Poincare

This is a honeydew day. That is when you get a day off and the wife says, "Honey, do this," and "Honey, do that" around the house. - Jim Lemon