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As We Get Old
How to solve an old guy's problems
Reliving the good times
After being married for 40 years, I took a careful look at my wife one day and said, “Forty years ago we had a cheap house, a junk car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 23-year-old girl.”
“Now I have a $500,000 home, a $35,000 car, a nice big bed and a large screen TV, but I’m sleeping with a 65-year-old woman. It seems to me that you’re not holding up your side of things.”
My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot 23-year-old girl and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap house, driving a junk car, sleeping on a sofa bed and watching a 10-inch black and white TV.
Aren’t older women great? They really know how to solve an old guy’s problems.
“Now I have a $500,000 home, a $35,000 car, a nice big bed and a large screen TV, but I’m sleeping with a 65-year-old woman. It seems to me that you’re not holding up your side of things.”
My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot 23-year-old girl and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap house, driving a junk car, sleeping on a sofa bed and watching a 10-inch black and white TV.
Aren’t older women great? They really know how to solve an old guy’s problems.
The woman that deliberates is lost. - Joseph Addison
A rich man has no need of character. - Hebrew Proverb
Men are from Mars, women are from Venus. - John Gray
A woman's work is never done - by men. - Unknown
When women go wrong, men go right after them. - Mae West
A woman is as old as she looks before breakfast. - Edgar W Howe
The essential thing is not knowledge, but character. - Joseph Le Conte
I hate women because they always know where things are. - Voltaire
A weeping man and a smiling woman are not to be trusted. - Indian Proverb
The real character of a man is found out by his amusements. - Joshua Reynolds
Character is the real foundation of all worthwhile success. - John Hays Hammond
The great purpose of life - the shaping of character by truth. - Phillips Brooks
Thinnest Book in the World: 'What Men Know About Women' - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
As long as she thinks of a man, nobody objects to a woman thinking. - Virginia Woolf
Men fall in love with their eyes. Women fall in love with their ears. - Dr. Phil McGraw
Character may almost be called the most effective means of persuasion. - Aristotle
The 3 fastest means of communication: Twitter; Telephone; Tell a woman. - Unknown
One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry. - Oscar Wilde
Back then the women had babies, which they called in them days, begatten. - Archie Bunker
I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman. - Arnold Schwarzenegger
It is necessary to let things go; simply for the reason that they are heavy. - C JoyBell
She knew what all smart women knew: Laughter made you live better and longer. - Gail Parent
The woman who can create her own job is the one who will win fame and fortune. - Amelia Earhart
Women give us solace, but if it were not for women we would never need solace. - Don Herold
She's the kind of woman who climbed the ladder of success - wrong by wrong. - Mae West
You cannot reason people out of a position that they did not reason themselves into. - Ben Goldacre
Change is an easy panacea. It takes character to stay in one place and be happy there. - Elizabeth Clarke Dunn
Women have a hard enough time in this world; telling them the truth would be too cruel. - H L Mencken
We learn the most from imperfect relationships - things like forgiveness and compassion. - Andrea Thompson
The true republic: men, their rights and nothing more; women, their rights and nothing less. - Franklin P Adams
This I conceive to be the chemical function of humor: to change the character of our thought. - Lin Yutang
There's a reason some people think they can achieve anything. They listened to their mother. - Unknown
Talent is God-given. Be humble. Fame is man-given. Be thankful. Conceit is self-given. Be careful. - Harvey Mackay
Some old women and men grow bitter with age. The more their teeth drop out, the more biting they get. - George D. Prentice
She wore far too much rouge last night and not quite enough clothes. That is always a sign of despair in a woman. - Oscar Wilde
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. - Lana Turner
I'm not sure which is harder on a relationship: sharing a dresser for three years, or sharing an iPhone charger for one day. - Unknown
Like a human being, a company has to have an internal communication mechanism, a 'nervous system', to coordinate its actions. - Bill Gates
Being with a woman all night never hurt no professional baseball player. It's staying up all night looking for a woman that does him in. - Casey Stengel
Education commences on the mother's knee, and every word spoken within hearsay of little children tends toward the formation of character. - Hosea Ballou
A rich man has no need of character. - Hebrew Proverb
Men are from Mars, women are from Venus. - John Gray
A woman's work is never done - by men. - Unknown
When women go wrong, men go right after them. - Mae West
A woman is as old as she looks before breakfast. - Edgar W Howe
The essential thing is not knowledge, but character. - Joseph Le Conte
I hate women because they always know where things are. - Voltaire
A weeping man and a smiling woman are not to be trusted. - Indian Proverb
The real character of a man is found out by his amusements. - Joshua Reynolds
Character is the real foundation of all worthwhile success. - John Hays Hammond
The great purpose of life - the shaping of character by truth. - Phillips Brooks
Thinnest Book in the World: 'What Men Know About Women' - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
As long as she thinks of a man, nobody objects to a woman thinking. - Virginia Woolf
Men fall in love with their eyes. Women fall in love with their ears. - Dr. Phil McGraw
Character may almost be called the most effective means of persuasion. - Aristotle
The 3 fastest means of communication: Twitter; Telephone; Tell a woman. - Unknown
One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry. - Oscar Wilde
Back then the women had babies, which they called in them days, begatten. - Archie Bunker
I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman. - Arnold Schwarzenegger
It is necessary to let things go; simply for the reason that they are heavy. - C JoyBell
She knew what all smart women knew: Laughter made you live better and longer. - Gail Parent
The woman who can create her own job is the one who will win fame and fortune. - Amelia Earhart
Women give us solace, but if it were not for women we would never need solace. - Don Herold
She's the kind of woman who climbed the ladder of success - wrong by wrong. - Mae West
You cannot reason people out of a position that they did not reason themselves into. - Ben Goldacre
Change is an easy panacea. It takes character to stay in one place and be happy there. - Elizabeth Clarke Dunn
Women have a hard enough time in this world; telling them the truth would be too cruel. - H L Mencken
We learn the most from imperfect relationships - things like forgiveness and compassion. - Andrea Thompson
The true republic: men, their rights and nothing more; women, their rights and nothing less. - Franklin P Adams
This I conceive to be the chemical function of humor: to change the character of our thought. - Lin Yutang
There's a reason some people think they can achieve anything. They listened to their mother. - Unknown
Talent is God-given. Be humble. Fame is man-given. Be thankful. Conceit is self-given. Be careful. - Harvey Mackay
Some old women and men grow bitter with age. The more their teeth drop out, the more biting they get. - George D. Prentice
She wore far too much rouge last night and not quite enough clothes. That is always a sign of despair in a woman. - Oscar Wilde
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. - Lana Turner
I'm not sure which is harder on a relationship: sharing a dresser for three years, or sharing an iPhone charger for one day. - Unknown
Like a human being, a company has to have an internal communication mechanism, a 'nervous system', to coordinate its actions. - Bill Gates
Being with a woman all night never hurt no professional baseball player. It's staying up all night looking for a woman that does him in. - Casey Stengel
Education commences on the mother's knee, and every word spoken within hearsay of little children tends toward the formation of character. - Hosea Ballou
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