#1 humor site on the 'net

Apology to Potential Criminals

Fighting back aginst the high cost of crime

Apology to Potential Criminals thanks to Barry McCartney

Bullet proof method of crime prevention

Apology to Potential Criminals thanks to Barry McCartney

Apology to Potential Criminals thanks to Barry McCartney

QuotaBills
Gun Control: Using both hands - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Leave the gun, take the cannoli. - The Godfather

The gun is not out of Irish politics. - Ian Paisley

Nobody ever died of being shot by a cookie. - Ilona Andrews

A compliment is a booster shot for the ego. - Rita Duskin

Those who trade liberty for security have neither. - John Adams

A Canadian is sort of like an American, but without the gun. - Unknown

There is no security in this life. There is only opportunity. - Douglas MacAurthur

Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me? - Mae West

As I like to say, take the shot, even if your knees are shaking. - Robin Roberts

Guns don't kill people. Dads with pretty daughters kill people. - Unknown

Life is a tragedy when seen in close-up, but a comedy in long-shot. - Charlie Chaplin

We spend our time searching for security and hate it when we get it. - John Steinbeck

Those who hammer their guns into plows will plow for those who do not. - Thomas Jefferson

The only point in making money is, you can tell some big shot where to go. - Humphrey Bogart

All I can say is, if they show my butt in a movie, it better be a wide shot. - Jennifer Lopez

Valentine's Day is the day when you remember that Cupid was a lousy shot. - Milton Berle

Security is mostly a superstition. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. - Helen Keller

Let everyone leave all the guns - British guns and Irish guns - outside the door. - Martin McGuinness

If you have a gun you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank you can rob everyone. - Unknown

It's better to have a gun and need it, than to not have a gun and not need it. - Ricky

I wear a fun sock when I travel to give the security staff a well-deserved chuckle. - Chelsea Peretti

Real joy seems to me almost as unlike security or prosperity as it is unlike agony. - C S Lewis

When I take a gun in hand, the safest place for a pheasant is just opposite the muzzle. - Sydney Smith

It is the greatest shot of adrenaline to be doing what you've wanted to do so badly. - Charles Lindbergh

Next to being shot at and missed, nothing is quite so satisfying as an income tax refund. - Unknown

One morning I shot an elephant in my pyjamas.
How he got into my pyjamas I'll never know. - Groucho Marx

The difference between a gun and a tree is a difference of tempo. The tree explodes every spring. - Ezra Pound

I do not think there is any silver bullet to solving the technology side of the security equation. - John W. Thompson

When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either use one more club or two more balls. - Unknown

I never hit a shot, not even in practice, without having a very sharp, in-focus picture of it in my head. - Jack Nicklaus

The policemen or soldiers are only a gun in the establishments hand. They make the racist secure in his racism. - Huey Newton

All the plants in my house are dead - I shot them last night. I was teasing them by watering them with ice cubes. - Steven Wright

To an entrepreneur, closing a financing often feels like the end of a marathon. It's actually the starting gun. - Andy Dunn

People confuse amassing money with security, but it is not so. What a pity to confuse real security with making money. - Billy Graham

Ideas are far more powerful than guns. We don't allow our enemies to have guns, why should we allow them to have ideas. - Joseph Stalin

My best security is within the munitions of an immutable Jehovah, where His unalterable promises stand like giant walls of rock. - Charles H Spurgeon

In a world of complex threats, our security and leadership depends on all elements of our power - including strong and principled diplomacy. - Barack Obama

Paul Revere was warning the British about gun control, and George Washington apparently was crossing the Delaware to bomb an abortion clinic. - Bill Maher

I'd love to see Christ come back to crush the spirit of hate and make men put down their guns. I'd also like just one more hit single. - Tiny Tim


Watching The World Cup

Friendly BBQ Reminder

Geek Piano

Ugly Haircut

XL Safety Shoes

Dance With Me

Secret Exit

Drawing A Fine Line

Fastest Land Mammal

First Driving Lesson

Foot-Ball

Vantastic

Ford Was All We Had

Mustang Limo

Mom Tested, Mom Approved

Suddenly An Oven

Lego Sushi

Got Your Nose

Covid-19 Protection

Vuvuzela Hits

You Are Grounded

Crosswalk Climber

Happy ARRRRRRRHH!

City Beach Castle