#1 humor site on the 'net

Apology to Potential Criminals

Fighting back aginst the high cost of crime

Apology to Potential Criminals thanks to Barry McCartney

Bullet proof method of crime prevention

Apology to Potential Criminals thanks to Barry McCartney

Apology to Potential Criminals thanks to Barry McCartney

QuotaBills
Leave the gun, take the cannoli. - The Godfather

The gun is not out of Irish politics. - Ian Paisley

A gun gives you the body, not the bird. - Henry David Thoreau

Nobody ever died of being shot by a cookie. - Ilona Andrews

Those who trade liberty for security have neither. - John Adams

Guns have only two enemies - rust and politicians. - Unknown

Shooting Star: A famous actor who uses his gun too often - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A Canadian is sort of like an American, but without the gun. - Unknown

I was an equal opportunity eater. Every ethnic group got a shot. - Bill Clinton

I made a killing on Wall Street a few years ago. I shot my broker. - Groucho Marx

Life is a tragedy when seen in close-up, but a comedy in long-shot. - Charlie Chaplin

There is nothing more exhilarating than to be shot at without result. - Winston Churchill

A lawyer with his briefcase can steal more than a hundred men with guns. - Mario Puzo

Window: 1. A looking-out glass; 2. Place in the truck to hang your guns. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The only point in making money is, you can tell some big shot where to go. - Humphrey Bogart

Your heaviest artillery will be your will to live. Keep that big gun going. - Norman Cousins

All I can say is, if they show my butt in a movie, it better be a wide shot. - Jennifer Lopez

Valentine's Day is the day when you remember that Cupid was a lousy shot. - Milton Berle

There's something fundamentally wrong with bringing a knife to a gun fight. - Sean Connery

Security is mostly a superstition. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. - Helen Keller

Let everyone leave all the guns - British guns and Irish guns - outside the door. - Martin McGuinness

It is true greatness to have in one the frailty of a man and the security of a god. - Lucius Annaeus Seneca

I'm a Catholic deer hunter. I am happy to be clinging to my guns and my religion. - Paul Ryan

When I take a gun in hand, the safest place for a pheasant is just opposite the muzzle. - Sydney Smith

It is the greatest shot of adrenaline to be doing what you've wanted to do so badly. - Charles Lindbergh

I used to think that one of the great signs of security was the ability to just walk away. - Jack Nicholson

One morning I shot an elephant in my pyjamas.
How he got into my pyjamas I'll never know. - Groucho Marx

The difference between a gun and a tree is a difference of tempo. The tree explodes every spring. - Ezra Pound

They have gun control in Cuba. They have universal health care in Cuba. So why do they want to come here? - Paul Harvey

The policemen or soldiers are only a gun in the establishments hand. They make the racist secure in his racism. - Huey Newton

All the plants in my house are dead - I shot them last night. I was teasing them by watering them with ice cubes. - Steven Wright

If you can't even acknowledge that you have to fix social security, that's not a very good starting point. - Rob Portman

The Supreme Court's only armor is the cloak of public trust; its sole ammunition, the collective hopes of our society. - Irving R. Kaufman

When it comes to politics, I sit down on a sofa and grab some popcorn - or sometimes I crouch down in order not to get shot. - Sergey Galitsky

My best security is within the munitions of an immutable Jehovah, where His unalterable promises stand like giant walls of rock. - Charles H Spurgeon

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin

I come bearing an olive branch in one hand, and the freedom fighter's gun in the other. Do not let the olive branch fall from my hand. - Yasser Arafat

Social Security's not the hard one to solve. Medicare, that is the gorilla in the room, and you've got to put all of it on the table. - Joe Biden

While awaiting sentencing, I decided to give stand-up comedy a shot. The judge had suggested I get my act together, and I took him seriously. - Tim Allen

I not only knew Houdini, but we had a very lovely relationship. I really though we had something going, and then the son of a gun disappeared. - Betty White


Goodbye Tattoo

What Goes Round Comes Round

Augustweggen

Scary Ice Cream

Orca Siting

Ruling On Criticism

Photo Scratch

Yoda-Churchill

Cup of Mona Lisa

Bar Walker

Olympic Moon Rings

BTTF II Car

Pool Garden

Lunch Break on a Hot Day

Wait For My Human

China Road Load

Burger King Street

Taking The Bait

Redneck Tailgate

Horse Model

What Has America Become?

Billionaire Thoughts

New Style Ribs

Beware Of Sign