Apology to Potential Criminals

Leave the gun, take the cannoli. - The Godfather

The gun is not out of Irish politics. - Ian Paisley

A gun gives you the body, not the bird. - Henry David Thoreau

Great shot kid, that was one in a million. - Han Solo

Nobody ever died of being shot by a cookie. - Ilona Andrews

A Canadian is sort of like an American, but without the gun. - Unknown

There is no security in this life. There is only opportunity. - Douglas MacAurthur

Serenity is knowing that your worst shot is still pretty good. - Johnny Miller

As I like to say, take the shot, even if your knees are shaking. - Robin Roberts

I was an equal opportunity eater. Every ethnic group got a shot. - Bill Clinton

I made a killing on Wall Street a few years ago. I shot my broker. - Groucho Marx

Guns don't kill people. Dads with pretty daughters kill people. - Unknown

Life is a tragedy when seen in close-up, but a comedy in long-shot. - Charlie Chaplin

We spend our time searching for security and hate it when we get it. - John Steinbeck

There is nothing more exhilarating than to be shot at without result. - Winston Churchill

Those who hammer their guns into plows will plow for those who do not. - Thomas Jefferson

A lawyer with his briefcase can steal more than a hundred men with guns. - Mario Puzo

All I can say is, if they show my butt in a movie, it better be a wide shot. - Jennifer Lopez

Valentine's Day is the day when you remember that Cupid was a lousy shot. - Milton Berle

He prefers the security of known misery to the misery of unfamiliar insecurity. - Sheldon B. Kopp

Security is mostly a superstition. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. - Helen Keller

It is true greatness to have in one the frailty of a man and the security of a god. - Lucius Annaeus Seneca

I wear a fun sock when I travel to give the security staff a well-deserved chuckle. - Chelsea Peretti

I'm a Catholic deer hunter. I am happy to be clinging to my guns and my religion. - Paul Ryan

The guns and the bombs, the rockets and the warships, are all symbols of human failure. - Lyndon B Johnson

A gun is not a weapon, it’s a tool, like a hammer or a screwdriver or an alligator. - Homer Simpson

Next to being shot at and missed, nothing is quite so satisfying as an income tax refund. - Unknown

One morning I shot an elephant in my pyjamas.
How he got into my pyjamas I'll never know. - Groucho Marx

I do not think there is any silver bullet to solving the technology side of the security equation. - John W. Thompson

I never hit a shot, not even in practice, without having a very sharp, in-focus picture of it in my head. - Jack Nicklaus

Too many people are thinking of security instead of opportunity. They seem to be more afraid of life than death. - James F. Bymes

All the plants in my house are dead - I shot them last night. I was teasing them by watering them with ice cubes. - Steven Wright

If you can't even acknowledge that you have to fix social security, that's not a very good starting point. - Rob Portman

Ideas are far more powerful than guns. We don't allow our enemies to have guns, why should we allow them to have ideas. - Joseph Stalin

When it comes to politics, I sit down on a sofa and grab some popcorn - or sometimes I crouch down in order not to get shot. - Sergey Galitsky

What are fears but voices airy?
Whispering harm where harm is not.
And deluding the unwary
Till the fatal bolt is shot! - William Wordsworth

Baseball happens to be a game of cumulative tension but football, basketball and hockey are played with hand grenades and machine guns. - John Leonard

I come bearing an olive branch in one hand, and the freedom fighter's gun in the other. Do not let the olive branch fall from my hand. - Yasser Arafat

Social Security's not the hard one to solve. Medicare, that is the gorilla in the room, and you've got to put all of it on the table. - Joe Biden

I'd love to see Christ come back to crush the spirit of hate and make men put down their guns. I'd also like just one more hit single. - Tiny Tim