Alligator Ice

Hard Water: The scientific name for ice - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If I melt dry ice, can I swim without getting wet? - Steven Wright

She tells enough white lies to ice a wedding cake. - Margot Asquith

See you later, alligator. After a while, crocodile. - Bill Haley

In skating over thin ice our safety is in our speed. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Some say the world will end in fire, some say in ice. - Robert Frost

Igloo: 1. An icicle built for two; 2. An Alaskan toilet. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A diamond is the only kind of ice that keeps a girl warm. - Elizabeth Taylor

I don't jog. It makes the ice jump right out of my glass. - David Lee Roth

I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass. - David Lee Roth

The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls out of your glass. - Martin Mull

If you're already walking on thin ice, you might as well dance. - Proverb

I'm Southern, so alligator tail is pretty interesting and yummy. - LeAnn Rimes

Life is too short to eat vanilla ice cream and dance with boring men. - Unknown

Don't taunt the alligator until after you've crossed the creek. - Dan Rather

Break the ice in a crowded elevator by asking how much everyone weighs. - Bill Murray

If you want to make everyone happy, don't be a leader. Sell ice cream. - Steve Jobs

An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile - hoping that it will eat him last. - Winston Churchill

The thinner the ice, the more anxious is everyone to see whether it will bear. - Josh Billins

When it gets hot like this, you know what I do? I keep my undies in the ice box. - Marilyn Monroe

I spent most of my 20s with these alligator wrestlers in the swamps of South Florida. - Karen Russell

Hockey: 1. Mayhem on ice; 2. A form of disorderly conduct in which the score is kept. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A gun is not a weapon, it’s a tool, like a hammer or a screwdriver or an alligator. - Homer Simpson

It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones

A statistician can have his head in the oven and his feet in ice, and on average he feels fine. - Unknown

Everything slows down with age. Except the time it takes cake and ice cream to reach your hips. - John Wagner

Age does not diminish the extreme disappointment of having a scoop of ice cream fall from the cone. - Jim Fiebig

You know you're old when someone compliments you on your alligator shoes, and you're barefoot. - Phyllis Diller

Iceomaniac: One who has to go out of their way to step on thin ice to hear a satisfying crunching sound - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I believe Ronald Reagan can make this country what it once was... a large Arctic region covered with ice. - Robin Williams

All the plants in my house are dead - I shot them last night. I was teasing them by watering them with ice cubes. - Steven Wright

When I was in boy scouts, I slipped on the ice and hurt my ankle. A little old lady had to help me across the street. - Steven Wright

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

When you're stressed, eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets. Why? Because stressed spelled backwards is desserts. - Unknown

Everyone knows that ice cream is worth the trouble of being cold. Like all things virtuous, you have to suffer to gain the reward. - Brandon Sanderson

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

My advice to you is not to inquire why or whither, but just enjoy your ice cream while it's on your plate - that's my philosophy. - Thornton Wilder

In those days the best painkiller was ice. It wasn't addictive, and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it. - George Burns

New Pasta Diet: Just walk pasta bakery without stopping. Walk pasta candy store without stopping. Walk pasta ice cream shop without stopping. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Passover and Easter are the only Jewish and Christian holidays that move in sync, like the ice skating pairs we saw during the winter Olympics. - Marvin Olasky