Advice For Married Men

Marry money. - Max Shulman

Marry in haste, repent at leisure. - English Proverb

Conceit is God's gift to little men. - Bruce Barton

The more I see of men, the more I like dogs. - Madame de Stael

When women go wrong, men go right after them. - Mae West

We don't see many fat men walking on stilts. - Bud Miller

Make love, not war... or get married and do both. - Unknown

She tells enough white lies to ice a wedding cake. - Margot Asquith

Beware of men who flourish with hereditary honors. - Latin Proverb

Men will let you abuse them only if you make them laugh. - Henry Ward Beecher

Men often applaud an imitation, and hiss the real thing. - Aesop

A great city is that which has the greatest men and women. - Walt Whitman

Strong beliefs win strong men, and then make them stronger. - Walter Bagehot

All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women. - WC Fields

In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom. - Groucho Marx

Shallow men believe in luck. Strong men believe in cause and effect. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Men are my hobby. If I ever got married, I'd have to give it up. - Mae West

Marriage, like a submarine, is only safe if you get all the way inside. - Frank Pittman

Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be men of courage; be strong. - Bible

I believe in love and marriage, but not necessarily with the same person. - John Travolta

Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers. - Richard Pryor

Do not seek to follow in the footsteps of the men of old; seek what they sought. - Matsuo Basho

As I grow older, I pay less attention to what men say. I just watch what they do. - Andrew Carnegie

Sir, it is your duty to get married. You can't be always living for pleasure. - Oscar Wilde

Only choose in marriage a woman whom you would choose as a friend if she were a man. - Joseph Joubert

The price good men pay for indifference to public affairs is to be ruled by evil men. - Plato

I should rather men ask why no statue has been erected in my honour, than why one has. - Marcus Porcius Cato

Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account. - Oscar Wilde

First of all you’ve got to have talent. And then you've got to marry her like I did. - George Burns

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight. - Phyllis Diller

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

Men are born with two eyes but with one tongue, in order that they may see twice as much as they say. - C.C. Colton

We can often do more for other men by trying to correct our own faults than by trying to correct theirs. - Francois Fenelon

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

Grandchildren don't make a man feel old; it's the knowledge that he's married to a grandmother. - G Norman Collie

Long ago, when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf. - Unknown

It might be pardonable to refuse to defend some men, but to defend them negligently is nothing short of criminal. - Marcus Tullius Cicero

Men in general judge more from appearances than from reality. All men have eyes, but few have the gift of penetration. - Niccolo Machiavelli

Who is the happiest of men? He who values the merits of others, and in their pleasure takes joy, even as though 'twere his own. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

What kind of man would live a life without daring? Is life so sweet that we should criticize men that seek adventure? Is there a better way to die? - Charles Lindbergh