#1 humor site on the 'net

A Woman's Hands

How good are you at reading body language?

A Woman's Hands thanks to Keith Blake

Online hand analysis - free palmistry advice

QuotaBills
Hold a true friend with both your hands. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Tis brief, my lord... as woman's love. - William Shakespeare

I wish you'd keep my hands to yourself. - Groucho Marx

When women go wrong, men go right after them. - Mae West

Behind every good woman is a lot of chocolate. - Unknown

When a woman is openly bad she is then at her best. - Latin Proverb

We're women. We have a double standard to live up to. - Ally McBeal

I think if I were a woman I'd wear coffee as a perfume. - John Van Druten

Amazing women don't have hot flashes. We have power surges. - Unknown

Behind every successful woman is a substantial amount of coffee. - Stephanie Piro

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of. - Mae West

The head thinks, the hands labor, but it's the heart that laughs. - Liz Curtis Higgs

Love is what happens to men and women who don’t know each other. - W Somerset Maugham

That woman speaks eighteen languages and can't say no in any of them. - Dorothy Parker

Back then the women had babies, which they called in them days, begatten. - Archie Bunker

A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby. - Natalie Wood

It is better to be a mouse in a cat's mouth than a man in a lawyer's hands. - Spanish Proverb

Women want mediocre men, and men are working hard to become as mediocre as possible. - Margaret Mead

The one thing I do not want to be called is First Lady. It sounds like a saddle horse. - Jacqueline Kennedy

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is. - Helen Rowland

Ladies and gentlemen are permitted to have friends in the kennel but not in the kitchen. - George Bernard Shaw

Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance. - Oscar Wilde

I would venture to guess that Anon, who wrote so many poems without signing them, was often a woman. - Virginia Woolf

Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard for the night, she can still survive. - WC Fields

A woman should cleave into her husband. Right here in this house is where Edith's cleavage belongs. - Archie Bunker

Democracy is very different in U.S. and A. from Kazakhstan. In America, woman can vote, but horse cannot! - Borat Sagdiyev

I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with the word 'Guess' on it. I said, "Thyroid problem?" - Arnold Schwarzenegger

If all the young ladies who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, no one would be the least surprised. - Dorothy Parker

The scorn men express for a male who does housework is exceeded only by their aversion to a woman who doesn't. - Penny Kome

Will the people in the cheaper seats clap your hands? And the rest of you, if you'll just rattle your jewellery. - John Lennon

As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself, the other for helping others. - Audrey Hepburn

Men have trouble dealing with a woman in a position of authority. I've never had trouble with a woman in any position. - Sam Malone

I think the only difference between me and the other candidates is that I'm more honest and my women are more beautiful. - Donald Trump

Women, as they grow older, rely more and more on cosmetics. Men, as they grow older, rely more and more on a sense of humor. - George Jean Nathan

Of the two lots, the woman's lot of perpetual motherhood, and the man's of perpetual babyhood, I prefer the man's. - Bernard Shaw

We can have democracy in this country, or we can have great wealth concentrated in the hands of a few, but we can't have both. - Louis D. Branders

The widening of woman's sphere is to improve her lot. Let us do it, and if the world scoff, let it scoff - if it sneer, let it sneer. - Lucy Stone

Being with a woman all night never hurt no professional baseball player. It's staying up all night looking for a woman that does him in. - Casey Stengel

A woman with confidence is hypnotic. A smile is mesmerizing. Presence, openness, a sense of humor - these are all things that make a woman attractive. - Jessica Ortner


Something Witty

Frozen America

Woodcutter Birthday Cake

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

That's My Bed

Laxative Cream Pie

Crow Species

Japanese Eye Test

Donut Hole History

The Original Homeland Security

Bustache

I Will Never Tell

Vancouver Snow Plow

Costco Wheels

British Accountant

Find Your Car

First Selfie

Spider Trap

Soothing Hairstyle

Winter Ready

Rush Job Calendar

Head Games

My Favourite Day of the Year

Millionaire Women