21st Century Bride

A married man is a caged bird. - Spanish Proverb

Marriage is the sunset of love. - French Proverb

Hare Brush: Used to groom a rabbit - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I was so cold I almost got married. - Shelley Winters

Ultimate: The last person you marry - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Call no man unhappy until he is married. - Socrates

I've seen better fights at a wedding. - Harry Redknapp

A really good detective never gets married. - Raymond Chandler

Always say no, and you will never by married. - French Proverb

In married life, three is company and two none. - Oscar Wilde

A happy marriage is the union of two forgivers. - Ruth Bell Graham

If you marry for money you will earn every penny. - Dr. Phil McGraw

Make love, not war... or get married and do both. - Unknown

Getting married is an incredible act of hopefulness. - Ashley Judd

Second Marriage: The triumph of hope over experience. - Samuel Johnson

Veiled Threat: When your girlfriend hints at a wedding - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

In Hollywood, a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk. - Rita Rudner

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to. - Unknown

Hand Scanner: Singles bar prowler looking for wedding rings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The secret to a happy marriage? Do what your wife tells you. - Denzel Washington

Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her. - Ambrose Bierce

Don't marry a tennis player - love means nothing to them. - Joan Rivers

I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years. - Sam Kinison

I would rather be a beggar and single than a queen and married. - Queen Elizabeth I

The key to success? Work hard, stay focused and marry a Kennedy. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner. - Red Skelton

Marriage is but for a little while. It is alimony that is forever. - Quentin Crisp

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of. - Mae West

A girl must marry for love, and keep on marrying until she finds it. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

Tenderness is greater proof of love than the most passionate of vows. - Marlene Dietrich

Marriage is like mushrooms: we notice too late if they are good or bad. - Woody Allen

Marriage is too interesting an experiment to be tried only once or twice. - Eva Gabor

If you have a boat and a happy marriage, you don't need another thing. - Ed McMahon

The Pirate is surrealism and so, in a curious way, is Father of the Bride. - Vincente Minnelli

I am married to Beatrice Salkeld, a painter. We have no children, except me. - Brendan Behan

Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers. - Richard Pryor

Marriage is very difficult. It's like a 5,000-piece jigsaw puzzle, all sky. - Cathy Ladman

A wedding is just like a funeral except that you get to smell your own flowers. - Grace Hansen

If men knew how women pass the time when they are alone, they'd never marry. - O. Henry

I wanted to study to be a dental hygienist, marry a rich dentist, and hang it up. - Vicki Lawrence

The world has grown suspicious of anything that looks like a happily married life. - Oscar Wilde

A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it. - John Steinbeck

Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases. - Milton Berle

I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck. - WC Fields

How marriage ruins a man! It is as demoralizing as cigarettes, and far more expensive. - Oscar Wilde

Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel. - Leonardo da Vinci

Every time I try to make my marriage more exciting, my wife finds out about it right away. - Bob Monkhouse

Whether you wind up with a nest egg or a goose egg depends on the kind of chick you married. - Unknown

First of all you’ve got to have talent. And then you've got to marry her like I did. - George Burns

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. - Groucho Marx

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

The key to a long and healthy marriage is that, honestly, there's nothing worth fighting about. - Jay Leno

Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one. - Unknown

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

Marriage is the only known example of the happy meeting of the immovable object and the irresistible force. - Ogden Nash

The Irish Catholic side was married to the life of an actor and I found out acting could be a form of prayer. - Liam Neeson

There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage. - Sam Kinison

Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed. - Albert Einstein

I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something is wrong with me. - Elayne Boosler

The best reason for a knitter to marry is that you can't teach the cat to be impressed when you finish a lace scarf. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming: 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it; 2. Whenever you're right, shut up. - Patrick Murra

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet service to see who they really are. - Will Ferrell

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. - Sacha Guitry

One advantage of marriage is that when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again. - Judith Viorst

Fraud in business is no different from infidelity in marriage or plagiarism in scholarly work. Even people committed to high moral standards succumb. - Miroslav Volf