QuotaBillsMarriage is heaven and hell. - German Proverb
A married man is a caged bird. - Spanish Proverb
I married beneath me. All women do. - Lady Nancy Astor
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce. - Groucho Marx
Cantaloupe: Got to get married in Church - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
To marry the Irish is to look for poverty. - J.P. Donleavy
In married life, three is company and two none. - Oscar Wilde
Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. - Paula Deen
If you marry for money you will earn every penny. - Dr. Phil McGraw
Make love, not war... or get married and do both. - Unknown
Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry. - Gloria Steinem
Second Marriage: The triumph of hope over experience. - Samuel Johnson
There's more to marriage than four bare legs in a bed. - English Proverb
The secret to a happy marriage? Do what your wife tells you. - Denzel Washington
Marriage: A word which should be pronounced "mirage." - Herbert Spencer
In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom. - Groucho Marx
All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner. - Red Skelton
Marriage is but for a little while. It is alimony that is forever. - Quentin Crisp
He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of. - Mae West
Men are my hobby. If I ever got married, I'd have to give it up. - Mae West
Tenderness is greater proof of love than the most passionate of vows. - Marlene Dietrich
Marriage, like a submarine, is only safe if you get all the way inside. - Frank Pittman
Marriage is like mushrooms: we notice too late if they are good or bad. - Woody Allen
College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage. - George Gobel
The Pirate is surrealism and so, in a curious way, is Father of the Bride. - Vincente Minnelli
I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman. - Arnold Schwarzenegger
Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers. - Richard Pryor
Will you marry me? Do you have any money?
Answer the second question first. - Groucho Marx
Marriage is very difficult. It's like a 5,000-piece jigsaw puzzle, all sky. - Cathy Ladman
Sir, it is your duty to get married. You can't be always living for pleasure. - Oscar Wilde
The world has grown suspicious of anything that looks like a happily married life. - Oscar Wilde
Well, at least he has found his true love - what a pity he can't marry himself. - Frank Sinatra
A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. - Mignon McLaughlin
If I get married again, I want a guy there with a drum to do rim shots during the vows. - Sam Kinison
Inspirations never go in for long engagements; they demand immediate marriage to action. - Unknown
Every time I try to make my marriage more exciting, my wife finds out about it right away. - Bob Monkhouse
I've been married to a communist and a fascist, and neither would take out the garbage. - Zsa Zsa Gabor
If you meet someone who can cook and do housework, don't hesitate a minute - marry him! - Rita Rudner
I believe in the institution of marriage, and I intend to keep trying until I get it right. - Richard Pryor
I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married. - Lewis Grizzard
Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight. - Phyllis Diller
The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. - Groucho Marx
The key to a long and healthy marriage is that, honestly, there's nothing worth fighting about. - Jay Leno
Rituals are important. Nowadays it's hip not to be married. I'm not interested in being hip. - John Lennon
The one charm of marriage is that it makes a life of deception absolutely necessary for both parties. - Oscar Wilde
Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one. - Unknown
I love being married. I was single for a long time, and I just got so sick of finishing my own sentences. - Brian Kiley
It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield
Marriage is the only known example of the happy meeting of the immovable object and the irresistible force. - Ogden Nash
Grandchildren don't make a man feel old; it's the knowledge that he's married to a grandmother. - G Norman Collie
Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories. - John Wilmot
There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage. - Sam Kinison
Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out. - Ogden Nash
It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married. - Robert Frost
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits and then complain that he's not the man she married? - Barbara Streisand
Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming: 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it; 2. Whenever you're right, shut up. - Patrick Murra
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. - Sacha Guitry
A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year. - Paul Sweeney
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with the window shut, and a woman who cannot sleep with the window open. - George Bernard Shaw
Don't over-analyze your marriage; it's like yanking up a fragile indoor plant every 20 minutes to see how its roots are growing. - Ogden Nash
Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, 'You're only interested in one thing,' and you can't remember what it is. - Milton Berle
In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage. - Robert Anderson
If you never want to see a man again, just tell him, "I love you. I want to marry you. I want to have children." They leave skid marks. - Rita Rudner
Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere. - Groucho Marx
One advantage of marriage is that when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again. - Judith Viorst