#1 humor site on the 'net

Zoo Invitation

Come to the zoo before the zoo comes to you

Zoo Invitation thanks to Keith Blake

Zoo Invitation thanks to Keith Blake

Zoo Invitation thanks to Keith Blake

Wildlife Welcome to Perth, Western Australia

QuotaBills
Life is a zoo in a jungle. - Peter De Vries

My favorite animal is steak. - Fran Lebowitz

We hold these semi-animal meetings. - Archie Bunker

Can vegetarians eat animal crackers? - George Carlin

The buffalo is a surprisingly stupid animal. - Ellsworth Huntington

Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to. - Mark Twain

Having an animal in your life makes you a better human. - Rachel Ray

Contempt for animal life leads to contempt for human life. - Edward Abbey

Mouse: An animal which strews its path with fainting women. - Ambrose Bierce

Hamster: The animal least likely to be found in a synagogue - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

For an animal person, an animal-less home is no home at all. - Cleveland Amory

An animal's eyes have the power to speak a great language. - Martin Buber

We're the only animal that wakes up and doesn't stretch. - Conor McGregor

I never act. I simply bring out the real animal that's in me. - Willem Dafoe

A zoo is a place of refuge where savage beasts are protected from people. - Gerald Lieberman

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere. - Groucho Marx

What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant? - George Carlin

There's a good animal show on with that kindly old gent, Marlons Perkos. - Archie Bunker

I'm definitely an animal lover, and I stand up for all animals' rights. - Laura Mennell

The turkey is living proof that an animal can survive with no intelligence at all. - Harvey D. Comstock

A racehorse is an animal that can take several thousand people for a ride at the same time. - Marjorie Johnson

I'm kind of honored to be a dragon lady. The dragon is a very powerful, mythical animal. - Yoko Ono

Human language appears to be a unique phenomenon, without significant analogue in the animal world. - Noam Chomsky

A moose is an animal with horns on the front of its head and a hunting lodge wall on the back of it. - Groucho Marx

I like cookies, any cookie you put in front of me - animal cookies, sugar cookies, anything crunchy. - Maria Shriver

I was readin' an article about the animal population - there's millions of pets explodin'. - Archie Bunker

My favorite animal is a polar bear. They're going extinct, and I really don't want that to happen. - Quvenzhane Wallis

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold. - Ogden Nash

I love sushi. But after too much of it, it just starts to taste like a dead animal that hasn't been cooked. - Amy Lee

It is just like man's vanity and impertinence to call an animal dumb because it is dumb to his dull perceptions. - Mark Twain

There are a zillion variables to a hamburger. What part of the animal went into it. What coarseness. What temperature. - Danny Meyer

It has been said that man is a rational animal. All my life I have been searching for evidence which could support this. - Bertrand Russell

An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut

Man is a rational animal who always loses his temper when he is called upon to act in accordance with the dictates of reason. - Oscar Wilde

Basketball, a game which won’t be fit for people until they set the basket umbilicus high and return the giraffes to the zoo. - Ogden Nash

Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something; in the absence of good grounds for belief, he will be satisfied with bad ones. - Bertrand Russell

Animals are not our selfie props. If there's any risk that your photo is going to hurt or stress an animal, it's not worth it. - Angela Henderson

Ugly animals have it rough. We're more likely to eat them or let them go extinct, and less likely to adopt them from animal shelters. - Joshua A Krisch

Man is the only animal who enjoys the consolation of believing in a next life; all other animals enjoy the consolation of not worrying about it. - Robert Brault

I love to go to the zoo. But not on Sunday. I don't like to see the people making fun of the animals, when it should be the other way around. - Ernest Hemingway


Cow Return

Biggest Fan On The Block

Senior's TV Tray

Potty 'Train'ing In India

A Woman Named Five Horses

Vegan Dentist

How To Conserve Gas

Rolling Shoes

How Twins Are Made

Cool Reading Room

Poor Lifetime

Be GarFul

Tooth Ferry

Ready For Rabbits

Ecosystem

Plumber's Night Light

Can I Lick The Bowl

Redneck Shelves

Google Classic

In Touch Today

Delicious Grief

Amplified Beer

How to Twerk at Work

$383.00 Paint Job