#1 humor site on the 'net

Texas Cow Cleaner

Bubba provides mooving hairstyles for his cattle

Texas Cow Cleaner thanks to Keith Blake

Manicure for Daisy

QuotaBills
Keep a clean kitchen - dine out. - Unknown

Organic Farm: Tilling like it is - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Sacred cows make the best hamburger. - Mark Twain

Milk the cow but do not pull off the udder. - Greek Proverb

Laughing Stock: Cattle with a sense of humour - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Clean your finger before you point at my spots. - Benjamin Franklin

We can dance on pinheads till the cows come home. - Alastair Campbell

Be strong in body, clean in mind, lofty in ideals. - James Naismith

A good farm is recognized as good partly by its beauty. - Wendell Berry

Farm: What a city man dreams of at 5 P.M., never at 5 A.M. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Stable: A command given to make a male cow remain in one place - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Mrs. O'Leary's cow is sorry, but Cleveland burned anyway. - Archie Bunker

The three words every woman really longs to hear: I'll clean up. - Molly Shannon

I will clean house when Sears comes out with a riding vacuum cleaner. - Roseanne Barr

You don't get anything clean without getting something else dirty. - Cecil Baxter

The body is your temple. Keep it pure and clean for the soul to reside in. - B.K. Iyengar

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them? - George Carlin

Spaghetti can be eaten most successfully if you inhale it like a vacuum cleaner. - Sophia Loren

The Rose Bowl is the only bowl I've ever seen that I didn't have to clean. - Erma Bombeck

I think you've got something there, but I'll wait outside until you clean it up. - Groucho Marx

I had the most boring office job in the world - I used to clean the windows on envelopes. - Rita Rudner

If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of a clean desk? - Laurence J. Peter

Life on a farm is a school of patience. You can't hurry the crops or make an ox in two days. - Haneri Liogier

When we traded the buffalo for a mare, we had no milk to drink, and we still had droppings to clean up. - Punjab Proverb

If I don't work, I'll be sitting on the couch watching TV, eating popcorn and getting like a cow. - Celia Cruz

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shovelling the walk before it stops snowing. - Phyllis Diller

Have you ever taken anything out of the clothes basket because it had become, relatively, the cleaner thing? - Katherine Whitehorn

I'm a farm boy. If we need five people to haul in hay, we don't take one and just work them to death. - Lincoln Davis

Prejudice, a dirty word, and faith, a clean one, have something in common: they both begin where reason ends. - Harper Lee

Gold and diamonds are nice, but clean, crisp, controlled water has long been the preeminent hallmark of the rich. - Anthony Doerr

It's hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty. - George Burns

Hunters will tell you that a moose is a wily and ferocious forest creature. Nonsense. A moose is a cow drawn by a three-year-old. - Bill Bryson

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

Canada is like an old cow. The West feeds it. Ontario and Quebec milk it. And you can well imagine what it's doing in the Maritimes. - Tommy Douglas

Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion... I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward. - Kurt Vonnegut

Free speech is not to be regulated like diseased cattle and impure butter. The audience that hissed yesterday may applaud today, even for the same performance. - William O. Douglas

There are two ways to wash the dishes. The first is to wash the dishes in order to have clean dishes, and the second is to wash the dishes in order to wash the dishes. - Thich Nhat Hanh

A limerick packs laughs anatomical
Into space that is quite economical.
But the good ones I've seen
So seldom are clean
And the clean ones so seldom are comical. - Unknown

Should any political party attempt to abolish social security, unemployment insurance, and eliminate labor laws and farm programs, you would not hear of that party again in our political history. - Dwight D Eisenhower

I am thankful for a lawn that needs mowing, windows that need cleaning and gutters that need fixing because it means I have a home. I am thankful for the piles of laundry and ironing because it means my loved ones are nearby. - Nancie J. Carmody


Stroller Snow Tires

2022 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Is The Warming Still Global?

Snow Drifts Inside Your Car

Redneck Potter's Wheel

Winter Sucks

Chainsaw Art

Spot the Hidden Cell Tower

How Cumulus Clouds Are Formed

Snow Is Coming

Spot The Clock

Gay Football

Icy Grip Of Winter

Find The Dogs

Fractal Pattern River

Canadian Whiskey

COLD Fairbanks

Snow Wall

Manitoba Kickstand

Puzzle Ad

Winter Driving in Canada

Coffee Morning

Slide-n-Freeze

Slip Sliding Away