#1 humor site on the 'net

Stop And Smell The Flowers

... or eat the roses within

Stop And Smell The Flowers thanks to Karen Moore

QuotaBills
I like perfume and flowers. - Donatella Versace

The Earth laughs in flowers. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

A wounded deer leaps the highest. - Emily Dickinson

His impromptus smell of the lamp. - Pytheas

A fox is a wolf who sends flowers. - Ruth Brown

Where flowers bloom, so does hope. - Lady Bird Johnson

An old man loved is winter with flowers. - Unknown

I love the smell of napalm in the morning. - Apocalypse Now

I love the smell of rain and growing things. - Serina Hernandez

I consider exercise vulgar. It makes people smell. - Alec Yuill-Thornton

Hope is the only bee that makes honey without flowers. - Robert G Ingersoll

I used to look like a deer in headlights on the red carpet. - Emily Blunt

Since the thing perhaps is to eat flowers and not to be afraid. - e e cummings

In the spring, at the end of the day, you should smell like dirt. - Margaret Atwood

He's better at smelling rotten eggs than at laying good ones. - Unknown

You can cut all the flowers but you cannot keep Spring from coming. - Pablo Neruda

Where man sees but withered leaves, God sees sweet flowers growing. - Albert Laighton

A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin. - H L Mencken

Autumn is mellower, and what we lost in flowers, we more than gain in fruits. - Samuel Butler

On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse. - Milton Berle

Trying to understand the behavior of some people is like trying to smell the color 9. - Muppets

Even bees, the little almsmen of spring bowers, know there is richest juice in poison-flowers. - John Keats

If Springtime crawls out of the wild mouths of flowers, then surely, Winter crawls out of mine. - Cecilia Llompart

Smell is a long-distance sense, a way of stretching time and finding out in advance what lies ahead. - Lyall Watson

The Herbs ought to be distilled when they are in their greatest vigor, and so ought the Flowers also. - Nicholas Culpeper

Let us decide on the route that we wish to take to pass our life, and attempt to sow that route with flowers. - Du Chatelet

Two things are important for missionaries: (1) they have a sense of humour; and (2) the have no sense of smell. - Phil Callaway

If the English language made any sense, 'lackadaisical' would have something to do with a shortage of flowers. - Doug Larson

Real angels don't have gossamer white robes and cherubic skin. They have calloused hands and smell of the days' sweat. - Richard Evans

This is what I grew up on in Alsace. It's choucroute. I'd wake up every morning with the smell of cabbage and potatoes and pork. - Jean-Georges Vongerichten

Children in a family are like flowers in a bouquet: there's always one determined to face in an opposite direction from the way the arranger desires. - Marcelene Cox

My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you? - Erma Bombeck

What sunshine is to flowers, smiles are to humanity. These are but trifles, to be sure; but, scattered along life's pathway, the good they do is inconceivable. - Joseph Addison

Non-Muslims in Saudi Arabia can only celebrate Valentine's Day behind closed doors. Apparently, this has led to a huge black market for flowers and wrapping paper. - John Niven

I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her. - Ellen DeGeneres

Forests, lakes, and rivers, clouds and winds, stars and flowers, stupendous glaciers and crystal snowflakes - every form of animate or inanimate existence, leaves its impress upon the soul of man. - Orison Swett Marden

Art is unquestionably one of the purest and highest elements in human happiness. It trains the mind through the eye, and the eye through the mind. As the sun colors flowers, so does art color life. - John Lubbock

When the last deer disappears into the morning mist; when the last elk vanishes from the hills; when the last buffalo falls on the plains; I will hunt mice, for I am a hunter and I must have my freedom. - Chief Joseph

As the rose tree is composed of the sweetest flowers and the sharpest thorns, as the heavens are sometimes overcast - alternately tempestuous and serene - so is the life of man intermingled with hopes and fears, with joys and sorrows, with pleasure and pain. - Edmond Burke

Our narratives transcend fact, for they are formed from the delicious emotional nuances of sensation: sound, smell, moods, sensuality, taste, color, shadow, texture, rhythm, cadence, tears, laughter, warmth, and coolness all experienced here, at a place on this earth. - Robert Archibald


Lerts

Great White Socks

That's Not A Bagpipe!

Paint Protection

Balanced Writer

Jolly Good Recovery

Tylenol Ban

In Perfect Harmony

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Kiosk Hours

Borderline Stupidity

Inside Outside Thinking

Bacon Soda Sales

Kia vs Nokia

Waterwheel Rotisserie

Fluent Sarcasm

Stork Exhaust

Music Illusion

New Fuel Gauge

Treescape

Diamond Ring TP

Treadmill Workout

The Three Stooges In And Out Of Character

Mask Not Your Country