#1 humor site on the 'net

Slept On The Tire

Retread tire options for pets

Slept On The Tire thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
You gotta be kitten me. - Unknown

International Spade The Cat Week - Archie Bunker

Catacomb: A feline grooming tool - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

All cats appear grey in the dark. - English Proverb

Don't judge a cat by its coat. - Magdalena VandenBerg

Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. - Unknown

Meow means "woof" in cat. - George Carlin

When the cat's away, the mice will play. - French Proverb

A cat bitten once by a snake dreads even rope. - Arab Proverb

Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat. - Mark Twain

A shop should be like a song of which you never tire. - Harry Gordon Selfridge

No amount of time can erase the memory of a good cat. - Leo Dworkin

The kind man feeds his cat before sitting down to dinner. - Hebrew Proverb

Women's clothes: never wear anything that panics the cat. - P.J. O'Rourke

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

The Cat. He walked by himself, and all places were alike to him. - Rudyard Kipling

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. - Benjamin Franklin

A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. - Robert J Vogel

It was a great interview process. They were fighting like cats and dogs. - Donald Trump

There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats. - Albert Schweitzer

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you. - Mary Bly

It doesn't matter if a cat is black or white, so long as it catches mice. - Deng Xiaoping

If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way. - Mark Twain

When black cats prowl and pumpkins gleam,
May luck be yours on Halloween. - Unknown

When a man loves cats, I am his friend and comrade without further introduction. - Mark Twain

In the beginning, God created man, but seeing him so feeble, He gave him the cat. - Warren Eckstein

It is better to be a mouse in a cat's mouth than a man in a lawyer's hands. - Spanish Proverb

I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. - Winston Churchill

I have spread my dreams beneath your feet. Tread softly because you tread on my dreams. - William Butler Yeats

I love cats because I enjoy my home, and little by little they become its visible soul. - Jean Cocteau

I may be a living legend, but that sure don't help when I've got to change a tire. - Roy Orbison

Without my Vulcan cat suit, Frankenstein wig and pointed ears, I don't get recognized. - Jolene Blalock

I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior. - Hippolyte Taine

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein

One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives. - Mark Twain

When witches go riding and black cats are seen,
The moon laughs and whispers, 'tis near Halloween. - Unknown

Giving up on your goal because of one setback is like slashing your other three tires because you got a flat. - Unknown

The best reason for a knitter to marry is that you can't teach the cat to be impressed when you finish a lace scarf. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans. - Kelli Jae Baeli

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain


Fox Hunting Madness

Emperor Penguins

The Side Effects of Veganism

Stair Railing Electrician

Cold Faucet

Make Womb For Baby

Hardtail Bike

Birth Control Kit

Come-Back Line Of The Year

Duck Gears

Chewing Gum Hazard

Keyboard Seating

Bent Over

Whatchamacallit Car

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Gone To Market

Peak Bernie

Female IT Experts

Obi-Juan Kenobi

Fuse ReplaceMeant

Student Food Strainer

IBITE

Slide-n-Freeze

Lizard Guitar