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Simon's Gas

When Simon's Car needs Simon's Cat's Advice

Simon's Gas thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

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A meowing cat catches no mice. - Yiddish proverb

International Spade The Cat Week - Archie Bunker

Catacomb: A feline grooming tool - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

All cats appear grey in the dark. - English Proverb

After dark, all cats are leopards. - Zuni Proverb

Don't judge a cat by its coat. - Magdalena VandenBerg

Feed me donuts and tell me I'm pretty. - Unknown

When the cat's away, the mice will play. - French Proverb

A cat bitten once by a snake dreads even rope. - Arab Proverb

First Aid Kit: A cat that works for the Red Cross. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

No amount of time can erase the memory of a good cat. - Leo Dworkin

Hairball: When a cat throws up to the basketball hoop, and misses - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats. - Albert Schweitzer

You pray for the hungry. Then you feed them. That's how prayer works. - Pope Francis

The trouble with a kitten is that when it grows up, it's always a cat. - Ogden Nash

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function. - Garrison Keillor

Motherhood: Feeding them as a baby and then through most of their twenties. - Unknown

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere. - Groucho Marx

I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it. - Steven Wright

From every Englishman emanates a kind of gas, the deadly choke-lamp of boredom. - Heinrich Heine

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them? - George Carlin

When a man loves cats, I am his friend and comrade without further introduction. - Mark Twain

I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up. - Rodney Dangerfield

Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n puttin' it back. - Will Rogers

If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man, but deteriorate the cat. - Mark Twain

Sleep is like my cat. I can call him by his name, but he still won't come to me. - Shane Koyczan

I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. - Winston Churchill

The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it. - Doug Larson

I love cats because I enjoy my home, and little by little they become its visible soul. - Jean Cocteau

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein

When I play with my cat, who knows whether she is not amusing herself with me more than I with her. - Montaigne

When I lived in Delhi, I used to visit the Lodhi Gardens and feed the pigeons, crows, and ducks there. - Sangram Singh

Charity is not like feeding pigeons in the square. It is a process that requires professional management. - Roman Abramovich

When witches go riding and black cats are seen,
The moon laughs and whispers, 'tis near Halloween. - Unknown

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

A tom cat hijacked a plane, stuck a pistol into the pilot's ribs and demanded, "Take me to the Canaries." - Bob Monkhouse

An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut

Cut out the free feed for the boss hogs at the public trough and the spill-over they've been leaving us. We'll manage. - Paul Harvey

Money is like gasoline during a road trip. You don't want to run out of gas on your trip, but you're not doing a tour of gas stations. - Tim O'Reilly

When I hear of an 'equity' in a case like this, I am reminded of a blind man in a dark room - looking for a black cat - which isn't there. - Charles Bowen


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