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Simon's Gas

When Simon's Car needs Simon's Cat's Advice

Simon's Gas thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

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Curiosity killed the cat. - English Proverb

Catacomb: A feline grooming tool - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Meow means "woof" in cat. - George Carlin

When the cat dies, the mice rejoice. - African saying

When the cat's away, the mice will play. - French Proverb

A cat bitten once by a snake dreads even rope. - Arab Proverb

Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat. - Mark Twain

No amount of time can erase the memory of a good cat. - Leo Dworkin

The kind man feeds his cat before sitting down to dinner. - Hebrew Proverb

Women's clothes: never wear anything that panics the cat. - P.J. O'Rourke

There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats. - Albert Schweitzer

The trouble with a kitten is that when it grows up, it's always a cat. - Ogden Nash

Spoon feeding in the long run teaches us nothing but the shape of the spoon. - E.M. Forster

If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way. - Mark Twain

When black cats prowl and pumpkins gleam,
May luck be yours on Halloween. - Unknown

I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it. - Steven Wright

From every Englishman emanates a kind of gas, the deadly choke-lamp of boredom. - Heinrich Heine

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them? - George Carlin

In the beginning, God created man, but seeing him so feeble, He gave him the cat. - Warren Eckstein

I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up. - Rodney Dangerfield

Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n puttin' it back. - Will Rogers

Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.
Stepped on the gas instead of the brake. - Jonathan Blake

It is better to be a mouse in a cat's mouth than a man in a lawyer's hands. - Spanish Proverb

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez

I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. - Winston Churchill

I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior. - Hippolyte Taine

When I play with my cat, who knows whether she is not amusing herself with me more than I with her. - Montaigne

When I lived in Delhi, I used to visit the Lodhi Gardens and feed the pigeons, crows, and ducks there. - Sangram Singh

I don't know what that gas is made of, but it can't smell any worse than Ernie Johnson 's gym bag. - Charles Barkley

I will be deafer than the blue-eyed cat, And thrice as blind as any noonday owl, To holy virgins in their ecstasies. - Alfred Tennyson

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere. - Jay Shetty

A tom cat hijacked a plane, stuck a pistol into the pilot's ribs and demanded, "Take me to the Canaries." - Bob Monkhouse

An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut

It's better to swim in the sea below
Than to swing in the air and feed the crow,
Says jolly Ned Teach of Bristol. - Benjamin Franklin

For almost seventy years the life insurance industry has been a smug sacred cow feeding the public a steady line of sacred bull. - Ralph Nader

If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer. - Alfred N Whitehead

Negative thoughts are like weeds in your garden and positive thoughts are the seeds of your garden, kill the weeds and feed the seeds. - Sukhi Burgen

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks? - George Carlin

When I hear of an 'equity' in a case like this, I am reminded of a blind man in a dark room - looking for a black cat - which isn't there. - Charles Bowen


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