Scratch-Off Parking Tickets

I hate a sore winner. - Oscar Levant

A winner never whines. - Paul Brown

Winners train, losers complain. - Unknown

Scratch a lover, and find a foe. - Dorothy Parker

Camelot: Parking area for humped animals - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Winners plan, prepare, and expect to win. - Zig Ziglar

Happiness is having a scratch for every itch. - Ogden Nash

Never argue with a woman, a winner, or a weapon. - Frank Dane

Parking Lot Attendant: Professional fender bender - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I bought a million lottery tickets. I won a dollar. - Steven Wright

There'll be only one winner now - in every sense. - David Coleman

I would rather play a gloating winner than a sobbing loser. - Unknown

If you scratch a cynic, you'll find a disappointed idealist. - George Carlin

Life is a game show where the people who enjoy it are the winners. - Orson Bean

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

We all thought we'd have flying cars by now, but we don't. - Dana Brunetti

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches. - Alice Roosevelt Longworth

Off-Campus Parking: Ample extra parking usually found in an adjoining state - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I rented a lottery ticket. I won a million dollars. But I had to give it back. - Steven Wright

Only a loser thinks of failures. A winner looks upon them as temporary setbacks. - Dave Mani

If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe. - Carl Sagan

A winner rebukes and forgives; a loser is too timid to rebuke and too petty to forgive. - Sydney J Harris

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

A real patriot is the fellow who gets a parking ticket and rejoices that the system works. - Bill Vaughan

They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times. - Tim Allen

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright

All are inclined to believe that they covet, from a lottery ticket up to a passport to Paradise. - Lord Byron

Winners lose more than losers. They win and lose more than losers, because they stay in the game. - Terry Paulson

You were born to win. But to be a winner, you must plan to win, prepare to win, and expect to win. - Zig Ziglar

If I weren't skateboarding, I'd love to race cars. I like anything that's fast and active. - Ryan Sheckler

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby

Do you think you're safe in a car with your seatbelt on? Dream on. My friend thought so. Now she's pregnant. - Anke Engelke

The actual building of roads devoted to motor cars is not for the near future, in spite of many rumors to that effect. - Harper's Weekly

If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 2,000 MPG. - Bill Gates

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

I'm amazed that my wife and I created two human beings from scratch, yet struggle to assemble the most basic of IKEA cabinets. - John Kinnear

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor