Santa Cat

Santa's Guh-nomes - Archie Bunker

A meowing cat catches no mice. - Yiddish proverb

International Spade The Cat Week - Archie Bunker

When the cat dies, the mice rejoice. - African saying

Christmas comes, but once a year is enough. - American Proverb

A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown

A gentleman never strikes a lady with his hat on. - Fred Allen

No amount of time can erase the memory of a good cat. - Leo Dworkin

I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd

I'm going to the North Pole to help out Santa this year. - Jimmy Fallon

Women's clothes: never wear anything that panics the cat. - P.J. O'Rourke

People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life. - Faith Resnick

If the cat sits long enough at the hole, it will catch the mouse. - Irish proverb

Hairball: When a cat throws up to the basketball hoop, and misses - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A lame cat is better than a swift horse when rats infest the palace. - Chinese Proverb

There's no need for a piece of sculpture in a home that has a cat. - Wesley Bates

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you. - Mary Bly

If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way. - Mark Twain

Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later. - Unknown

I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up. - Rodney Dangerfield

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. - George Carlin

If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man, but deteriorate the cat. - Mark Twain

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

Without my Vulcan cat suit, Frankenstein wig and pointed ears, I don't get recognized. - Jolene Blalock

If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown

A gentleman should never leave the house without a sharp knife, a good watch, and great hat. - Unknown

I wish I could stand on a busy corner, hat in hand, and beg people to throw me all their wasted hours. - Bernard Berenson

When witches go riding and black cats are seen,
The moon laughs and whispers, 'tis near Halloween. - Unknown

Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey

I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle

I wish I could stand on a busy street corner, hat in hand and beg people to throw me all of their wasted hours. - Bernard Berenson

Kissing power is stronger than will power: Girls need to 'prove their love' like a moose needs a hat rack. - Abigail VanBuren

I will be deafer than the blue-eyed cat, And thrice as blind as any noonday owl, To holy virgins in their ecstasies. - Alfred Tennyson

I love Canada. It makes a nice hat for America. When America runs out of water, it's the first place I'll go. - Ryan Reynolds

A hat should be taken off when you greet a lady, and left off for the rest of your life. Nothing looks more stupid than a hat. - P.J. O'Rourke

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright

One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans. - Kelli Jae Baeli

This was a very classy guy - in a sharp coat there, one of them velvet collars, and of of them pearl-gray hamburgers on his head (Homburg hat). - Archie Bunker