#1 humor site on the 'net

Robbie Knievel Tickets

4 tickets left!

I have four extra tickets for the Robbie Knievel (son of Evil Knievel) Event at the Ford Center next weekend in Glendale AZ, if anybody wants them. Robbie is going to try to jump over 1,000 Obama supporters with a Caterpillar D-9 bulldozer.
Robbie Knievel Tickets thanks to Mike King

QuotaBills
Good government is good politics. - Richard J. Daley

Politics makes strange postmasters. - Kin Hubbard

Everybody knows politics is a contact sport. - Barrack Obama

Every country has the government it deserves. - Joseph de Maistre

A government of law is a government of lawyers. - Saying

Obama does not like the issue of where he was born. - Donald Trump

Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly. - Unknown

Most bad government results from too much government. - Thomas Jefferson

The secret of politics? Make a good treaty with Russia. - Otto von Bismarck

Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under. - H L Mencken

We have the best government in the world... that money can buy. - Mark Twain

World War II was the last government program that really worked. - George Will

Politics is a profession where the paths of glory lead but to the gravy. - Billy Boy Franklin

In politics, madame, you need two things: friends, but above all an enemy. - Brian Mulroney

Idealism is the despot of thought, just as politics is the despot of will. - Mikhail Bakunin

Freedom of opinion can only exist when the government thinks itself secure. - Bertrand Russell

No science is immune to the infection of politics and the corruption of power. - Jacob Bronowski

Keep your bike in good repair: motorcycle boots are not comfortable for walking. - Unknown

I love Canada. I am from Canada. I will bash the Canadian government but never Canada. - Jason Priestley

Everyone wants to eat at the government's table, but nobody wants to do the dishes. - Werner Finck

My brother Bob doesn't want to be in government - he promised Dad he'd go straight. - John F Kennedy

There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you. - Will Rogers

Officialese: A government language where you can understand the words, but not the sentences - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

So, if we lie to the government, it's a felony.
But if they lie to us, it's politics. - Bill Murray

Good thing we've still got politics in Texas - finest form of free entertainment ever invented. - Molly Ivins

The single most exciting thing you encounter in government is competence, because it's so rare. - Daniel P Moynihan

Politics, for years, or all too long, has been concerned with right or left instead of right or wrong. - Richard Armour

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. - Emo Philips

Frankly, I'd like to see the government get out of war altogether and leave the whole field to private industry. - Joseph Heller

You're the guy that'll be sneaking out of your bedroom at three o'clock in the morning to look at your bike. - Paul Teutul

It's especially hard if the government is not providing services, or is even conducting ethnic cleansing against you. - Paul Harvey

When it comes to politics, I sit down on a sofa and grab some popcorn - or sometimes I crouch down in order not to get shot. - Sergey Galitsky

Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage. - Ambrose Bierce

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are,
"I'm from the government and I'm here to help." - Ronald Reagan

The Obama representatives like Robert Gibbs attack people viciously, but people like me will not be silent and will answer them back. - Donald Trump

Our future cannot depend on the government alone. The ultimate solutions lie in the attitudes and the actions of the American people. - Joe Biden

If Obama resigns from office NOW, thereby doing a great service to the country, I will give him free lifetime golf at any one of my courses. - Donald Trump

When I am abroad, I always make it a rule never to criticize or attack the government of my country. I make up for lost time when I am at home. - Winston Churchill

Being in politics is like being a football coach; you have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important. - Eugene McCarthy

Jokes of the proper kind, properly told, can do more to enlighten questions of politics, philosophy, and literature than any number of dull arguments. - Isaac Asimov


Calling In Sick - Snow Job for the Boss

Look At It This Way

Camouflaged Owls

Snow Geese

Quantum Physiques

Typewriter Parts

Irish Flu Shots

Hawaii Scuba Bus

Winter Blues

Pink Freud

Geriatric Flight

Chili Rub

Safety Pin Face

New York's Morning Cup of Java

Pole Position

Before Political Correctness

Tooth Loss

Organic Compromise

Classic Ballet Ad

Redneck Air Conditioning Controls

End Of World Car Sale

Digging Up A Date

Tomato Sprouts

Shuttle Bus Driver