Redneck Spoon

Diets are mainly food for thought. - N Wylie Jones

A balanced diet is chocolate in both hands. - Unknown

My diet is like Atkins, but with the carbs. - BJ Penn

Only the spoon knows the pot's sorrows. - Don Orsati

When you come to a fork in the road, take it. - Yogi Berra

Don't dig your grave with a knife and fork. - English Proverb

Only the spoon knows what is stirring in the pot. - Italian Proverb

Diets are for those who are thick and tired of it. - Unknown

Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow you may diet. - Unknown

Liam's like a man with a fork in a world of soup. - Noel Gallagher

Food tastes best when you eat it with your own spoon. - Denmark Proverb

She who sups with the devil should have a long spoon. - English Proverb

A balanced diet is a Cracker Jack cookie in each hand. - Joe-kster

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper

The cardiologist's diet: - If it tastes good, spit it out. - Unknown

Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown

I don't diet, I just don't eat as much as I'd like to. - Linda Evangelista

Whatsoever was the father of a disease, an ill diet was the mother. - George Herbert

What you have put into the kettle comes afterwards into your spoon. - Turkestan Proverb

I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks. - Totie Fields

No disease that can be treated by diet should be treated by any other means. - Maimonides

Spoon feeding in the long run teaches us nothing but the shape of the spoon. - E.M. Forster

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook. - Julia Child

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie. - Jim Davis

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks. - Joe E Lewis

The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it. - Jackie Gleason

I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond. - Mae West

I'm on a strict liquid diet: Mimosas for breakfast, Margaritas for lunch, Martinis for dinner. - Unknown

My wife is on a diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost any weight, but she can sure climb a tree. - Henny Youngman

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

I love to go to a movie, get a Diet Coke and a barrel of popcorn, and sit there with my kids and watch a film. - William Shatner

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

A dark-chocolate truffle melts in my mouth, and I forget about everything else... even the fact that I'm on a diet. - Barbara Brooke

The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books - how not to eat what you've just learned now to cook. - Andy Rooney

I feel about airplanes the way I feel about diets. It seems to me that they are wonderful things for other people to go on. - Jean Kerr

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

Men are like pumpkins. It seems like all the good one are either taken or they've had everything scraped out of their heads with a spoon. - Unknown