Redneck Skurfing

Water rusts pipes. - WC Fields

Surfing is attitude dancing. - Gerry Lopez

Hard Water: The scientific name for ice - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Sacrilege: Shelf for bottles of holy water - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A tear is made of 1% water and 99% feelings. - Unknown

Sometimes I drink water just to surprise my liver. - WC Fields

I've committed to surfing the rest of my life. - Lance Armstrong

He was so good he would pour rose water on a toad. - Douglas Jerrold

You never miss the water till the well has run dry. - Irish Proverb

You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf. - John Kabat-Zinn

If there is magic on this planet, it is contained in water. - Loren Eiseley

Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water! - Groucho Marx

Say anything that you like about me except that I drink water. - WC Fields

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. - English Proverb

There is nothing, nothing, more sad than a surfer who used to surf. - Unknown

Hydroponic Gardening: Using a plant to convert water into yard work - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I bought some powdered water, but I don't know what to add to it. - Steven Wright

If there was no such thing as barrels I probably wouldn't even surf. - Clay Marzo

Gardening requires lots of water, most of it in the form of perspiration. - Lou Erickson

I finally found out how priests get holy water. They boil the hell out of it. - Joan Rivers

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments. - Chris Rock

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

Don't throw away the old bucket until you know whether the new one holds water. - Swedish Proverb

I love surfing more than cricket. It's more interesting and you meet great people. - Hansie Cronje

The dignity of movement of an iceberg is due to only one ninth of it being above water. - Ernest Hemingway

A woman is like a tea bag; you never know how strong it is until it's in hot water. - Eleanor Roosevelt

It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones

Most whale photos you see show whales in this beautiful blue water - it's almost like space. - Brian Skerry

When the clergyman's daughter
Drinks nothing but water
She's certain to finish on gin. - Rudyard Kipling

Whatever I am offered in devotion with a pure heart - a leaf, a flower, fruit, or water - I accept with joy. - Bhagavad Gita

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

I love Canada. It makes a nice hat for America. When America runs out of water, it's the first place I'll go. - Ryan Reynolds

One of the greatest things about the sport of surfing is that you need only three things: your body, a surfboard, and a wave. - Naima Green

How come if you mix flour and water together you get glue? And when you add eggs and sugar you get cake? Where does the glue go? - Rita Rudner

Menopause is thicker than water. When we talk and laugh about it, we learn and relax. It's a life transition, not a disease. - Unknown

Take a music bath once or twice a week for a few seasons, and you will find that it is to the soul what the water bath is to the body. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

The joy of surfing is so many things combined, from the physical exertion of it, to the challenge of it, to the mental side of the sport. - Kelly Slater

Memory is a net: one finds it full of fish when he takes it from the brook, but a dozen miles of water have run through it without sticking. - Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.

Hypothesis: 1. First thing a Redneck teenager says to his father on the phone; 2. Hippo, horse; thesis, placing: putting something on a horse. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Advice from a tree:
- Stand tall and proud
- Go out on a limb
- Remember your roots
- Drink plenty of water
- Enjoy the view - Unknown