Redneck Skurfing

Surfing is for life. - Bruce Jenkins

Hard Water: The scientific name for ice - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Sacrilege: Shelf for bottles of holy water - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A tear is made of 1% water and 99% feelings. - Unknown

Sometimes I drink water just to surprise my liver. - WC Fields

You never miss the water till the well has run dry. - Irish Proverb

People run from rain but sit in bathtubs full of water. - Charles Bukowski

Don't bargain for fish which are still in the water. - India Proverb

You can't cross the sea merely by staring at the water. - Rabindranath Tagore

Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed. - Josh Billings

Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown

I moved to Florida because you don't have to shovel water. - James Randi

I ran a 100-mile marathon, and I was powered by coconut water. - Jesse Itzler

There is nothing, nothing, more sad than a surfer who used to surf. - Unknown

I bought some powdered water, but I don't know what to add to it. - Steven Wright

An entire ocean can't sink a ship unless it allows the water inside. - Donna Smith

You don't drown by falling into water. You only drown if you stay there. - Zig Ziglar

You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

You can take a surfer out of the surf, but you can not take surf out of surfer. - Bob McTavish

Warm Water Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You can lead a herring to water, but you have to walk really fast or he'll die. - Rose

Puddle: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

I'm just a surfer who wanted to build something that would allow me to surf longer. - Jack O'Neill

Before enlightenment: chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment: chop wood, carry water. - Zen Buddhist Saying

If NASA really wants to find water on Mars, they should just send me there to hit a golf ball. - Gene Jaster

What is harder than rock, or softer than water? Yet soft water hollows out hard rock. Persevere. - Ovid

A wise man adapts himself to circumstances, as water shapes itself to the vessel that contains it. - Chinese Proverb

Sailor: 1. A man who makes his living on water but never touches it on shore; 2. A wolf in ship's clothing. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Be ruthless about your calendar - stick to it, hell or high water but create space for unstructured time as well. - Arjun Arora

Gold and diamonds are nice, but clean, crisp, controlled water has long been the preeminent hallmark of the rich. - Anthony Doerr

Milk is the drink of babies, tea the drink of women, water the drink of beasts, and wine is the drink of the gods. - John S Blackie

Some lawyers are like unto the camel, which, before drinking out of a brook, maketh the water turbid with his foot. - Adolphus W Ward

One of the greatest things about the sport of surfing is that you need only three things: your body, a surfboard, and a wave. - Naima Green

Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry

Mancation: A man's vacation. Generally includes lots of beer, a Redneck grill, slabs of meat for cooking and a sack of fireworks. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Hypothesis: 1. First thing a Redneck teenager says to his father on the phone; 2. Hippo, horse; thesis, placing: putting something on a horse. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read: "President Can't Swim." - Lyndon B. Johnson