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Redneck Mattress

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Redneck Mattress thanks to Keith Blake

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And so to bed. - Samuel Pepys

Bed is the poor man's opera. - Italian Proverb

Book lovers never go to bed alone. - Unknown

A revolution is not a bed of roses. - Fidel Castro

No bed is big enough to hold three. - German Proverb

Safety doesn't happen by accident. - Unknown

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight. - Phyllis Diller

Early Rising: Triumph of mind over mattress - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

As you make your bed, so you must lie in it. - Daniel J. Boorstin

Defendit numerus: There is safety in numbers. - Unknown

Lying in bed dreaming never got the work done. - Amish Saying

Safety is a cheap and effective insurance policy. - Unknown

You'd think I was Lazarus rising from the bed. - Archie Bunker

To my embarrassment, I was born in bed with a lady. - Wilson Mizner

Mistress: something between a mister and a mattress. - Unknown

How you make your bed is how you are going to sleep. - Greek Proverb

He who sleeps on the floor will not fall off the bed. - Robert Gronock

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx

You have to get up early if you want to get out of bed. - Groucho Marx

Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed. - George Burns

No civilized person goes to bed the same day he gets up. - Richard H Davis

Early to bed, early to rise, work like hell and advertise. - Ted Turner

There's more to marriage than four bare legs in a bed. - English Proverb

I give unto my wife my second best bed, with the furniture. - William Shakespeare

Obedience is the mother of success and is wedded to safety. - Aeschylus

I'm not afraid of spiders; I've had worse in my bed. - Donna Lynn Hope

Safety Belt: The one you don't drink before driving home - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

For Fang, getting out of bed in the morning is a career move. - Phyllis Diller

Bed is like the womb, only drier and with better TV reception. - Linda Richman

Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown

It's great to get up in the morning, but nicer to lie in bed. - Unknown

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

I ordered a bed from IKEA and they sent me a tree trunk and a saw. - Eileen Curtright

Early to bed and early to rise probably indicates unskilled labour. - John Ciardi

It takes more love to share the saddle than it does to share the bed. - Unknown

The world is an oyster, but you don't crack it open on a mattress. - Arthur Miller

Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise. - Benjamin Franklin

Joy Of Motherhood: What a woman experiences when all the kids are in bed - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If it weren't for the rocks in its bed, the stream would have no song. - Carl Perkins

Sleeping is my drug; my bed is my dealer; and my alarm clock is the police. - Unknown

Bad habits are like a good bed; easy to get into but difficult to get out of. - Unknown

Pajamas: Items of clothing that newlyweds place beside the bed in case of fire - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

Bad habits are like a comfortable bed, easy to get into, but hard to get out of. - Unknown

Having hope will give you courage. You will be protected and will rest in safety. - Bible

I just want to keep people awake. Or at least give you one joke to go to bed with. - Jimmy Fallon

Anyone who thinks the art of conversation is dead ought to tell a child to go to bed. - Robert Gallagher

Love melts the rigor which the rocks have bred; a flint will break upon a feather bed. - John Cleveland

In bed, I'm totally impudent... (later) I got the feeling my prudence is coming back. - Archie Bunker

In any given moment we have two options: to step forward into growth or step back into safety. - Abraham Maslow

No human being believes that any other human being has a right to be in bed when he himself is up. - Robert Lynd

Most people spend their lives going to bed when they're not sleep, and getting up when they are. - Cindy Adams

If Joan of Arc could turn the tide of an entire war before her 18th birthday, you can get out of bed. - E. Jean Carroll

Sunsets are great. Sunrises are a mixed bag. You either got up way too early or went to bed way too late. - Matt Dillon

It's been a tough week. I bought myself a memory foam mattress and now it's trying to blackmail me. - Gary Delaney

You've got to get up every morning with determination if you're going to go to bed with satisfaction. - George Lorimer

My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint. - Erma Bombeck

Give me a Murphy bed, a Lazy Susan, a grandfather clock and a bulldog, and I will show you the meaning of comedy. - Jonathan Goldstein

Self-pity in its early stages is as snug as a feather mattress. Only when it hardens does it become uncomfortable. - Maya Angelou

One of the secrets of a long and fruitful life is to forgive everybody everything every night before you go to bed. - Ann Landers

It's true Fang and I fight, but we've never gone to bed mad. Of course, one year we were up for three months. - Phyllis Diller

If this humor be the safety of our race, then it is due largely to the infusion into the American people of the Irish brain. - William Howard Taft

It was character that got us out of bed, commitment that moved us into action, and discipline that enabled us to follow through. - Zig Ziglar

The perfect date for me would be staying at home, making a big picnic in bed, eating Wotsits and cookies while watching cable TV. - Kim Kardashian

Every woman's dream is that a man will take her in his arms, throw her into bed... and clean the whole house while she sleeps. - Unknown

What's money? A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and goes to bed at night and in between does what he wants to do. - Bob Dylan

Faithfulness is essential to the character of a friend: without this there can be no safety in intimacy with and confidence in him. - Samuel Hopkins

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

Mancation: A man's vacation. Generally includes lots of beer, a Redneck grill, slabs of meat for cooking and a sack of fireworks. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Hypothesis: 1. First thing a Redneck teenager says to his father on the phone; 2. Hippo, horse; thesis, placing: putting something on a horse. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com


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