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Redneck Mattress

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Redneck Mattress thanks to Keith Blake

Road support for Bubba's bad back

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And so to bed. - Samuel Pepys

Bed is the poor man's opera. - Italian Proverb

Book lovers never go to bed alone. - Unknown

A revolution is not a bed of roses. - Fidel Castro

No bed is big enough to hold three. - German Proverb

Safety doesn't happen by accident. - Unknown

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight. - Phyllis Diller

I'm good in bed. I can sleep all day. - Unknown

As you make your bed, so you must lie in it. - Daniel J. Boorstin

Lying in bed dreaming never got the work done. - Amish Saying

Safety is a cheap and effective insurance policy. - Unknown

You'd think I was Lazarus rising from the bed. - Archie Bunker

To my embarrassment, I was born in bed with a lady. - Wilson Mizner

In skating over thin ice our safety is in our speed. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Mistress: something between a mister and a mattress. - Unknown

How you make your bed is how you are going to sleep. - Greek Proverb

He who sleeps on the floor will not fall off the bed. - Robert Gronock

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx

You have to get up early if you want to get out of bed. - Groucho Marx

No civilized person goes to bed the same day he gets up. - Richard H Davis

Early to bed, early to rise, work like hell and advertise. - Ted Turner

There's more to marriage than four bare legs in a bed. - English Proverb

I'm not afraid of spiders; I've had worse in my bed. - Donna Lynn Hope

Safety Belt: The one you don't drink before driving home - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Bed is like the womb, only drier and with better TV reception. - Linda Richman

Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown

Lasting Impression: What a Sumo wrestler leaves in his mattress - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

It's great to get up in the morning, but nicer to lie in bed. - Unknown

In a sick-room or a bed-room there should never be shutters shut. - Florence Nightingale

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

I ordered a bed from IKEA and they sent me a tree trunk and a saw. - Eileen Curtright

Early to bed and early to rise probably indicates unskilled labour. - John Ciardi

It takes more love to share the saddle than it does to share the bed. - Unknown

Bed and Breakfast: Two things the kids will never make for themselves - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The traveler with empty pockets pursues his journey in perfect safety. - Ovid

Joy Of Motherhood: What a woman experiences when all the kids are in bed - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Early to rise and early to bed makes a male healthy and wealthy and dead. - James Thurber

Sleeping is my drug; my bed is my dealer; and my alarm clock is the police. - Unknown

Bad habits are like a good bed; easy to get into but difficult to get out of. - Unknown

The great majority of neuroses in women have their origin in the marriage bed. - Sigmund Freud

My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do. - Unknown

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

Bad habits are like a comfortable bed, easy to get into, but hard to get out of. - Unknown

Having hope will give you courage. You will be protected and will rest in safety. - Bible

Love melts the rigor which the rocks have bred; a flint will break upon a feather bed. - John Cleveland

Me and my bed are perfect for each other, but my alarm clock keeps trying to break us up. - Unknown

Let Wall Street have a nightmare and the whole country has to help get them back in bed again. - Will Rogers

In any given moment we have two options: to step forward into growth or step back into safety. - Abraham Maslow

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy

No human being believes that any other human being has a right to be in bed when he himself is up. - Robert Lynd

I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer

You're welcome to come here, except my bed's from Ikea so it's more unstable than I am. - Unknown

Most people spend their lives going to bed when they're not sleep, and getting up when they are. - Cindy Adams

If Joan of Arc could turn the tide of an entire war before her 18th birthday, you can get out of bed. - E. Jean Carroll

Sunsets are great. Sunrises are a mixed bag. You either got up way too early or went to bed way too late. - Matt Dillon

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

It's been a tough week. I bought myself a memory foam mattress and now it's trying to blackmail me. - Gary Delaney

You've got to get up every morning with determination if you're going to go to bed with satisfaction. - George Lorimer

My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint. - Erma Bombeck

Self-pity in its early stages is as snug as a feather mattress. Only when it hardens does it become uncomfortable. - Maya Angelou

It's true Fang and I fight, but we've never gone to bed mad. Of course, one year we were up for three months. - Phyllis Diller

I thank the Lord I no longer have to go to work. I just get out of bed in the morning, and there it is - all around me. - Unknown

Horse: 1. An oatsmobile; 2. An animal that cannot say yes, only neigh; 3. An animal that goes to bed with its shoes on. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

It was character that got us out of bed, commitment that moved us into action, and discipline that enabled us to follow through. - Zig Ziglar

The perfect date for me would be staying at home, making a big picnic in bed, eating Wotsits and cookies while watching cable TV. - Kim Kardashian

Every woman's dream is that a man will take her in his arms, throw her into bed... and clean the whole house while she sleeps. - Unknown

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

Mancation: A man's vacation. Generally includes lots of beer, a Redneck grill, slabs of meat for cooking and a sack of fireworks. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Hypothesis: 1. First thing a Redneck teenager says to his father on the phone; 2. Hippo, horse; thesis, placing: putting something on a horse. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

What's my type? Someone who is supportive. Someone who is warm. Someone I can just curl up and relax with. Wait - I'm describing my bed again. - Bill Murray


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