Redneck Christmas Tree Transport

Palm Tree: A tree with hands - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Every man under his own fig tree. - Hebrew Saying

A little axe can cut down a big tree. - Jamaican Saying

My family tree could use some pruning. - Unknown

The apple will fall under the apple tree. - Greek Proverb

Pencil: A tiny tree used to draw a line in the sand - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The ornament of a house is the friends who frequent it. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

The best cure for sea sickness, is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

Life without love is like a tree without blossoms or fruit. - Kahlil Gibran

I think that I shall never see
A poem lovely as a tree. - Joyce Kilmer

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

Native ability without education is like a tree without fruit. - Aristippus

Character is the root of the tree; conduct, the fruit it bears. - E.M. Bounds

Disbelief: How you tell someone what the green stuff on a tree is - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Keep a green tree in your heart and perhaps a singing bird will come. - Chinese Proverb

If a tree falls in the forest and no one hears, does it make a sound? - Unknown

The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now. - Chinese Proverb

Learn not to talk to me. You shake the tree, a leopard's going to fall out. - Kobe Bryant

I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap. - Fred Allen

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

Someone's sitting in the shade today because someone planted a tree a long time ago. - Warren Buffett

Learning is an ornament in prosperity, a refuge in adversity, and a provision in old age. - Aristotle

If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown

Transplanting the ballet to the United States is like trying to raise a palm tree in Dakota. - Lincoln Kirsten

If I had six hours to chop down a tree, I'd spend the first four hours sharpening the axe. - Abraham Lincoln

The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants. - Thomas Jefferson

No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby

Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you. - Unknown

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

My wife is on a diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost any weight, but she can sure climb a tree. - Henny Youngman

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor

You can't be suspicious of a tree, or accuse a bird or a squirrel of subversion or challenge the ideology of a violet. - Hal Borland

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. - Shirley Temple

Geometry: 1. What the acorn said after it grew up; 2. A tree made up of numbers and letters; 3. Without geometry, life is pointless. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Hypothesis: 1. First thing a Redneck teenager says to his father on the phone; 2. Hippo, horse; thesis, placing: putting something on a horse. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Wise sayings are not only for ornament, but for action and business, having a point or edge, whereby knots in business are pierced and discovered. - Francis Bacon

Advice from a tree:
- Stand tall and proud
- Go out on a limb
- Remember your roots
- Drink plenty of water
- Enjoy the view - Unknown