Redneck Auto Mechanic
Used car hoist soon for sale
Bubba is car-full to stay away from Jethro's car hoist
QuotaBillsKhaki: A thing for starting a car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Carbage: The trash found in your automobile - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Maintenance is as much art as it is science. - Unknown
A Chicken in Every Pot and a Car in Every Garage - Herbert Hoover
Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig
Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford
Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck
I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright
The shortest distance between two points is usually under repair. - Unknown
It is sometimes as dangerous to be run into by a microbe as by a trolley car. - J.J. Walsh
Keep your bike in good repair: motorcycle boots are not comfortable for walking. - Unknown
When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip
My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance. - Tim Allen
Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown
A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen
Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke
It's easier to build up a child than it is to repair an adult. Choose your words wisely. - Unknown
Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright
My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder." - Steven Wright
HonkoSecond: The time between the light turning green and the sound from the car horn behind you - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries
Golden Age: When the kids are too old to need baby-sitters and too young to borrow the family car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I'm convinced that every boy, in his heart, would rather steal second base than an automobile. - Tom Clark
The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical. - Murray Walker
We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth. - Virginia Satir
Poverty: 1. A state of mind sometimes induced by a neighbour's new car; 2. One thing that money can't buy. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
There's nothing to match curling up with a good book when there's a repair job to be done around the house. - Joe Ryan
For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi
I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright
The minute there's a map, there is no art. Paint by numbers is not art. Paint by numbers is a mechanical activity. - Seth Godin
I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare
Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor
My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck
Did you hear about the auto worker who was offered a position as president of a bank but couldn't afford the pay cut? - Unknown
I'm not a car guy. The subway gets me where I need to go efficiently and cheaply, and I don't worry about traffic. - Joe Scarborough
It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor
I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright
Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket, or a holding pattern over Philadelphia. - Judith Viorst
A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt
Car Pool: Complicated system of transportation where Mom always winds up going the furthest with the biggest bunch of kids who have had the most sugar - Daffynitions joe-ks.com