#1 humor site on the 'net

Real Cookie Monster

Me want cookie!

Real Cookie Monster thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
Ignore previous cookie. - Unknown

Fine words do not produce food. - Nigeria Proverb

Raisin cookies are why I have trust issues. - Unknown

There ain't no such thing as wrong food. - Sean Stewart

Food is an important part of a balanced diet. - Fran Lebowitz

Don't pick at your food. It won't heal. - Hawkeye Pierce

You don't need a silver fork to eat good food. - Paul Prudhomme

Food is symbolic of love when words are inadequate. - Alan D Wolfe

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields

If I have one addiction in life, it's probably food. - Liam Hemsworth

I wouldn't trade you for all the cookies in the world. - Cookie Monster

Food, love, mother and career: the four basic guilt groups. - Cathy Guisewite

Before eating, always take a little time to thank the food. - Arapaho Proverb

You can't be a smart cookie if you have a crumbly attitude. - Unknown

I was so drunk, I thought a tube of toothpaste was astronaut food. - Will Ferell

Chemically speaking, chocolate really is the world's perfect food. - Michael Levine

The best comfort food will always be greens, cornbread, and fried chicken. - Maya Angelou

The maxim that the "best is the cheapest" does not apply to food. - W.O. Atwater

Your food is close to your stomach, but you must put it in your mouth first. - African Saying

My weak spot is laziness. Oh, I have a lot of weak spots: cookies, croissants. - Anthony Hopkins

We need more young people involved in farming because the future needs real food. - Helena Sylvester

Cookie: The standard method for converting sugar, floor, and butter into body fat - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben

So long as you have food in your mouth, you have solved all questions for the time being. - Franz Kafka

I have a constant sweet tooth, so I like anything from the bakery, like cupcakes, cookies. - Carmen Electra

Thank you, horseradish, for being neither a radish nor a horse. What you are is a liar food. - Jimmy Fallon

If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world. - JRR Tolkien

Large, naked, raw carrots are acceptable as food only to those who live in hutches awaiting Easter. - Fran Lebowitz

If fat people just gave skinny people more food, we could solve obesity and hunger at the same time. - Ashton Kutcher

I wouldn't pay for a personal trainer, but I would pay someone to just knock unhealthy food out of my hands. - Bill Murray

If music be the food of love, play on, give me excess of it; that surfeiting, the appetite may sicken, and so die. - William Shakespeare

Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi

Every time you use the word 'healthy,' you lose. The key is to make yummy, delicious food that happens to be healthy. - Marcus Samuelsson

The perfect date for me would be staying at home, making a big picnic in bed, eating Wotsits and cookies while watching cable TV. - Kim Kardashian

The Vice-Presidency is sort of like the last cookie on the plate. Everybody insists he won't take it, but somebody always does. - Bill Vaughan

I like a well-roasted rotisserie chicken and eggs cooked various ways like sunny-side up or scrambled. It's comfort food for me. - Joel Robuchion

Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship.
She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays. - Red Skelton

Mushroom: 1. A motel for quickies; 2. The place where they store the school food; 3. A room that has no sides, no walls, no doors and no ceilings. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Our food pyramid, the kind of diet that is constantly promoted, is completely warped. It's not based around anything to do with healing your body. - Jessica Origliasso


Paint Protection

Balanced Writer

Jolly Good Recovery

Tylenol Ban

In Perfect Harmony

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Kiosk Hours

Borderline Stupidity

Inside Outside Thinking

Bacon Soda Sales

Kia vs Nokia

Waterwheel Rotisserie

Fluent Sarcasm

Stork Exhaust

Music Illusion

New Fuel Gauge

Treescape

Diamond Ring TP

Treadmill Workout

The Three Stooges In And Out Of Character

Mask Not Your Country

Sun Protection

Multi-Motor Motorcycle

Your In America