Pupcakes

Never let the tail wag the dog. - Unknown

A hard dog to keep on the porch. - Hillary Clinton

Zit: Command given to a spotted dog - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A dog has the soul of a philosopher. - Plato

Live everyday like its your birthday. - Paris Hilton

A dog in desperation will leap over a wall. - Unknown

Throw physic to the dogs; I'll none of it. - William Shakespeare

Don't think to hunt two hares with one dog. - Benjamin Franklin

One trained dog equals 60 search-and-rescue workers. - Charles Stoehr

Better to be the head of a dog than the tail of a lion. - English Proverb

Hot Dog: The only animal that feeds the hand that bites it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

One of the secrets of a happy life is continuous small treats. - Irish Murdoch

False Economy: using only 30 candles on her 40th birthday cake - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I eat cake because it's somebody's birthday somewhere. - Unknown

Happy birthday to a sister who has the best sister in the world. - Unknown

Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown

I have nothing against dogs. I just hate rugs that go squish-squish. - Phyllis Diller

I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow, than a man swear he loves me. - William Shakespeare

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner

The trees in Siberia are miles apart - that's why the dogs are so fast. - Bob Hope

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself. - Josh Billings

The more I see of the representatives of the people, the more I admire my dogs. - Alphonse de Lamartine

I am obsessed with Costco. I love the salmon and rotisserie chicken, the dog beds. - Kris Jenner

The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good. - Samuel Johnson

My wife hasn't had a birthday in 4 years. She was born in the year of our Lord-only-knows. - Unknown

I remember when the candle shop burned won. Everyone stood around singing "Happy Birthday." - Steven Wright

If you turn the imagination loose like a hunting dog, it will often return with the bird in its mouth. - William Maxwell

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

When a dog bites a man, that is not news, because it happens so often. But if a man bites a dog, that is news. - John B. Bogart

If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around. - Unknown

An inventor fails 999 times, and if he succeeds once, he's in. He treats his failures simply as practice shots. - Charles Kettering

Inside me there's a thin person struggling to get out, but I can usually sedate him with four or five cupcakes. - Bob Thaves

My husband wanted one of those big-screen TVs for his birthday. So I just moved his chair closer to the one we have already. - Wendy Liebman

I like to eat pizza and spaghetti pomodoro, and I'm crazy for dessert. I like all of them: cassata, cheesecake, biscuits. - Stefano Gabbana

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer. - Alfred N Whitehead

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner

With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to "the best woman a man ever had." The waiter joined me. - Rodney Dangerfield

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz