Pupcakes

France is a dog-hole. - William Shakespeare

Let fightin' dogs lie - Archie Bunker

Dyspupsia: Being sick as a dog. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A hard dog to keep on the porch. - Hillary Clinton

Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first. - Ernestine Ulmer

A hungry dog will eat dirty puddings. - Latin Proverb

An angry dog is best led by its tail. - Unknown

The view only changes for the lead dog. - Norman O. Brown

The dog represents all that is best in man. - Etienne Charlet

The last birthday that's any good is 23. - Andy Rooney

Don't think to hunt two hares with one dog. - Benjamin Franklin

One trained dog equals 60 search-and-rescue workers. - Charles Stoehr

Anybody who hates dogs and babies can't be all bad. - Leo Rosten

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. - Andy Rooney

Colliefornia: The American state that has gone to the dogs - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer. - Rodney Dangerfield

One of the secrets of a happy life is continuous small treats. - Irish Murdoch

I eat cake because it's somebody's birthday somewhere. - Unknown

If we growl all day we're likely to feel dog tired at night. - Amish Saying

Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown

A dog has lots of friends because he wags his tail and not his tongue. - Unknown

The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. - E. Joseph Cossman

If I could be half the person my dog is, I'd be twice the human I am. - Unknown

If you think you have influence, try ordering some else's dog around. - Amish Saying

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner

The more I see of the representatives of the people, the more I admire my dogs. - Alphonse de Lamartine

As a child, I always chose a false nose and some face paint and a wig for my birthday. - Ashley Jensen

Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in. - Mark Twain

My wife hasn't had a birthday in 4 years. She was born in the year of our Lord-only-knows. - Unknown

You're getting old when the only thing you want for your birthday is not to be reminded of it. - Felix Severn

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

I always add a year to myself, so I'm prepared for my next birthday. So when I was 39, I was already 40. - Nicolas Cage

My aunt gave me a walkie-talkie for my birthday. She says if I'm good, she'll give me the other one next year. - Steven Wright

The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker

An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut

My husband wanted one of those big-screen TVs for his birthday. So I just moved his chair closer to the one we have already. - Wendy Liebman

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

My girlfriend's dog died. So I got her an identical one. She was livid; 'What am I going to do with two dead dogs?' - Gary Delaney

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain