Pupcakes

Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. - Unknown

The view only changes for the lead dog. - Norman O. Brown

You can't teach a young dog old tricks. - Warren Buffet

The more I see of men, the more I like dogs. - Madame de Stael

Get the hanging dog expression off your face. - Archie Bunker

Life is too short not to order the bacon dessert. - George Takei

Flatterers looks like friends, as wolves like dogs. - George Chapman

I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons. - Will Rogers

Anyone who hates children and dogs can't be all bad. - WC Fields

My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer. - Rodney Dangerfield

I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. - Wendy Liebman

If dogs could talk, it would take a lot of fun out of owning one. - Andrew A. Rooney

Dogs are getting bigger, according to a leading dog manufacturer. - Leo Rosten

Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown

The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. - E. Joseph Cossman

How a society treats its disabled is the true measure of a civilization. - Chen Guangcheng

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you. - Mary Bly

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner

I look like a real bag lady when I go to Starbucks with my dog and get my chai. - Shirley MacLaine

The more I see of the representatives of the people, the more I admire my dogs. - Alphonse de Lamartine

The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good. - Samuel Johnson

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez

As a child, I always chose a false nose and some face paint and a wig for my birthday. - Ashley Jensen

I have a constant sweet tooth, so I like anything from the bakery, like cupcakes, cookies. - Carmen Electra

The human mind treats a new idea the way the body treats a strange protein: it rejects it. - P.B. Medawar

Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It's hardly ever for them. - Harry Hill

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. - Robert Frost

There's such a buildup of crud in my oven, there's only room to bake a single cupcake. - Phyllis Diller

When asked what gift he wanted for his birthday, the yogi replied: I wish no gifts, only presence. - Unknown

If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. - Jay Leno

Obama and his attack dogs have nothing but hate and anger in their hearts and spew it whenever possible. - Donald Trump

If you want to know what a man's like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals. - J K Rowling

When a dog bites a man, that is not news, because it happens so often. But if a man bites a dog, that is news. - John B. Bogart

Already, companies that speak in the language of the pitch, the dog-and-pony show, are no longer speaking to anyone. - Unknown

My aunt gave me a walkie-talkie for my birthday. She says if I'm good, she'll give me the other one next year. - Steven Wright

The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker

My husband wanted one of those big-screen TVs for his birthday. So I just moved his chair closer to the one we have already. - Wendy Liebman

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

Dogs laugh, but the laugh with their tails. What puts man in a higher state of evolution is that he has got his laugh on the right end. - Max Eastman

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz