#1 humor site on the 'net

Pumpkin Buns

Getting mooned in the pumpkin patch

Pumpkin Buns thanks to Keith Blake

Pumpkin Buns thanks to Keith Blake

QuotaBills
So many horrid Ghosts. - William Shakespeare

No gold, no Holy Ghost. - Samuel Butler

Ghost Writer: Spooksman - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Pumpkin pie fixes everything. - Unknown

Ghost: A shadow of its former self - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Forget Cutie, I'd rather be Pumpkin! - Unknown

I've made a career off of Halloween. - Cassandra Peterson

Mind sees ghost when frightened and hopeless. - Toba Beta

My only career goal is to be a Halloween icon. - Nuno Roque

Acting is like a Halloween mask that you put on. - River Phoenix

Now I know what a ghost is. Unfinished business. - Salman Rushdie

Halloween pumpkins aglow.
Come see the show. - Unknown

Halloween is an opportunity to be really creative. - Judy Gold

It's easier to dismiss ghosts in the daylight. - Patricia Briggs

Produce great pumpkins, the pies will follow later. - Unknown

Costumes and scenery alone will not attract audiences. - Anna Held

At night, here in the library, the ghosts have voices. - Alberto Manguel

The only way you can become a legend is in your coffin. - Bette Davis

The muses are ghosts, and sometimes they come uninvited. - Stephen King

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

Graveyards were the one place Belladonna never saw ghosts. - Helen Stringer

The pumpkin is always oranger on the other side of the patch. - Unknown

I don't believe in ghosts but they blindly believe in me. - Amit Abraham

Studio 54 made Halloween in Hollywood look like a PTA meeting. - Lorna Luft

To be haunted is to glimpse a truth that might best be hidden. - James Herbert

A house with old furniture has no need of ghosts to be haunted. - Hope Mirrlees

I love the spirit of Halloween and the energy that comes with it. - Katharine McPhee

Nothing on Earth so beautiful as the final haul on Halloween night. - Steve Almond

A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween. - Erma Bombeck

Misers part with nothing until they die. Then they give up the ghost. - Latin Proverb

Take care of your costume and your confidence will take care of itself. - Amit Kalantri

I'm not a real Halloween kind of guy, because Halloween is every day. - Al Jourgensen

You cannot climb the ladder of success dressed in the costume of failure. - Zig Ziglar

I love Halloween: the cold air, the spooky dangers lurking around the corner. - Evan Peters

I love you more than pumpkin spice latte but please don't make me prove it! - Unknown

My favorite word is 'pumpkin.' You are a pumpkin. Or you are not. I am. - Harrison E. Salisbury

Kilt: A costume sometimes worn by Scotsmen in America and Americans in Scotland - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I went to a haunted house, looked under the kitchen table, and found spirit gum. - Steven Wright

In one aspect, yes, I believe in ghosts, but we create them. We haunt ourselves. - Laurie H. Anderson

The people you love become ghosts inside of you, and like this you keep them alive. - Rob Montgomery

The ghosts of things that never happened are worse than the ghosts of things that did. - L.M. Montgomery

Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie. - Jim Davis

Corpse pose restores life. Dead parts of your being fall away, the ghosts are released. - Unknown

Monsters are real, and ghosts are real, too. They live inside us, and sometimes they win. - Stephen King

Message boards are like going to a Halloween masquerade party. Everybody has a screen name. - John Mackey

Make pumpkin bread as the default gift for everyone. It is cheap, it is beloved, it is carbs. - Karen Bender

I love to put on a wig, a costume, inhabit a different world and be called something different. - Susan Egan

I'd rather sit alone on a pumpkin and have it all to myself than be crowded on a velvet cushion. - Henry David Thoreau

Ghosts have a way of misleading you; they can make your thoughts as heavy as branches after a storm. - Rebecca Maizel

Everything is for sale in Hollywood; the fairy tale, the costume, the pumpkin, the footman and the mice. - Amanda Eliasch

When witches go riding and black cats are seen,
The moon laughs and whispers, 'tis near Halloween. - Unknown

We used to go around tipping outhouses over, or turning over corn shocks on Halloween. Anything to be mean. - Loretta Lynn

The pumpkin hearing, "Let's carve and scoop,"
Ran fast as he could, leaving pumpkin poop. - Shirley Thomas

I see my face in the mirror and go, 'I'm a Halloween costume? That's what they think of me?' - Drew Carey

As a kid, you looked forward to Charlie Brown during Halloween and you looked forward to Monday Night Football. - Nick Ferguson

The farther we've gotten from the magic and mystery of our past, the more we've come to need Halloween. - Paula Guran

The house smelled musty and damp, and a little sweet, as if it were haunted by the ghosts of long-dead cookies. - Neil Gaiman

If human beings had genuine courage, they'd wear their costumes every day of the year, not just on Halloween. - Douglas Coupland

Halloween is a day in which some people choose to wear a mask, while others finally feel safe to take theirs off. - Steve Maraboli

I wouldn't describe myself as lacking in confidence, but I would say that the ghosts you chase you never catch. - John Malkovich

Halloween is one of my favorite days of the year. I have a strict rule: I don't work on Halloween and I won't travel on Halloween. - Simon Sinek

Men are like pumpkins. It seems like all the good one are either taken or they've had everything scraped out of their heads with a spoon. - Unknown

Instead of doing cinnamon, nutmeg, and all those baking spices I'll have one spice that's for sweets, and that's pumpkin pie spice. - Sandra Lee

All my life, I have been a celebrant of Halloween. For me, it is the most important day of the year, the turning point in the old pagan calendar. - John Burnside

I love the scents of winter! For me, it's all about the feeling you get when you smell pumpkin spice, cinnamon, nutmeg, gingerbread and spruce. - Taylor Swift


Ready Soon

Mud Flops

Been Lapped

How To Use The New 1940 Dial Telephone

Garmin Drive

Redneck Bucket List

Rotating Illusion - Pink Eye Trick

Boneless Bananas

That's My Bed

Eye For Coffee

Logging Moose

Firemen's Revenge

Just In Thyme

Kapalua Resort - The Plantation Course

Alberta Hood Ornament

Outside Urinal

Fixer-Uppers

Just Divorced

Flannel Frontier

Humour in the Workplace

Colour Wheel

Milky Way

Security Guard

Wet Floor Caution