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Prison Santa

Santa gives toys to bad boys

Prison Santa thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

This is dedicated to all those who rob and steal from others, and make Christmas a very difficult time in the year for some. May you find your prison some day, forever in the North Pole. PS: Thanks for breaking into my house this Christmas... the Joe-kster

QuotaBills
Santa's Guh-nomes - Archie Bunker

The crime of loving is forgetting. - Maurice Chevalier

Police do not belong in war zones. - Daniel K Moran

Not failure, but low aim, is crime. - J. R. Lowell

All people look better under arrest. - John Waters

Procrastination is the thief of time. - Edward Young

Crime does not pay as well as politics. - Alfred E. Newman

A friend to honesty and a foe to crime. - Allan Pinkerton

An art thief is a man who takes pictures. - George Carlin

Suspicion often creates what it suspects. - C S Lewis

Behind every great fortune there is a crime. - Honore de Balzac

Poverty is the parent of revolution and crime. - Aristotle

Obviously crime pays, or there'd be no crime. - G. Gordon Liddy

Is it a bigger crime to rob a bank or to open one? - Ted Allan

All mothers have intuition. The great ones have radar. - Cathy Guisewite

You can't stop a thing by makin' a crime of it. - Kin Hubbard

The robbed that smiles, steals something from the thief. - William Shakespeare

I'm going to the North Pole to help out Santa this year. - Jimmy Fallon

I think crime pays. The hours are good, and you travel a lot. - Woody Allen

In my country we go to prison first and then become president. - Nelson Mandela

Rape is the only crime in which the victim becomes the accused. - Freda Adler

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

The world's second-most crime is boredom; the first is being a bore. - Cecil Beaton

When some folks agree with my opinions I begin to suspect I'm wrong. - Kin Hubbard

My loathings are simple: stupidity, oppression, crime, cruelty, soft music. - Vladimir Nabokov

Prison is the worst experience I've ever had in my life - besides death. - Duane Chapman

I am kind of paranoid in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy. - J.D. Salinger

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? - George Carlin

Tabloid: 1. A newspaper with a permanent crime wave; 2. A screamlined newspaper. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Never think that war, no matter how necessary, nor how justified, is not a crime. - Ernest Hemingway

Let's commit the perfect crime. I'll steal your heart, and you steal mine. - Meryl Streep

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. - George Carlin

The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley

I took a physical for some life insurance. All they would give me was fire and theft. - Milton Berle

Growing old is like being increasingly penalized for a crime you haven't committed. - Anthony Powell

Blind commitment to a theory is not an intellectual virtue: it is an intellectual crime. - Imre Lakatos

Dreams are excursions into the limbo of things, a semi-deliverance from the human prison. - Henri Amiel

I'm the only woman who can walk in Central Park at night... and reduce the crime rate. - Phyllis Diller

You will never be free until you free yourself from the prison of your own false thoughts. - Unknown

When a man commits the same crime twice, and is not punished, it seems to him permissible. - Talmud

There's only two people in your life you should lie to... the police and your girlfriend. - Jack Nicholson

The greatest thief this world has ever produced is procrastination, and he is still at large. - Josh Billings

The toilets at a local police station have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go on. - Ronnie Corbett

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright

The police feel that most of the public are against them and that there is a lot of bad feeling. - Peter James

Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison. - Unknown

Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not Princeton. - Dan Duva

Police officers may drive black and white cars, however what goes on in their job is a lot of gray. - Arik Matson

We don't seem to be able to check crime, so why not legalize it and then tax it out of business. - Will Rogers

I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison. - WC Fields

My parents live in a retirement community, which is basically a minimum-security prison with a golf course. - Joel Warshaw

Many commit the same crime with very different results. One bears a cross for his crime, the other a crown. - Juvenal

Women are like the police. They could have all the evidence in the world, but they still want the confession. - Chris Rock

A benefit of any job is laughter. It should never be a crime to have fun on the job. It may be a crime not to. - Terry Paulson

The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him. - G K Chesterton

The crime problem in New York is getting really serious. The other day the Statue of Liberty had both hands up. - Jay Leno

I haven't reported my missing credit card to the police because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife. - Ilie Nastase

At the end of a marathon, it's going to hurt whether you're speeding up or slowing down. You may as well push. - Summer Sanders

I'm being kidnapped by a comforter, sheet and pillow. No need to call the police for I will be released by morning. - Unknown

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. - Shirley Temple

When I was a kid, one cop could have taken care of the whole neighborhood. Now, one cop wouldn't be safe in the neighborhood. - Mike Royko

There is a blessed necessity by which the interest of men is always driving them to the right, and making all crime mean and ugly. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

While there is a lower class, I am in it; while there is a criminal element, I am of it; and while there is a soul in prison, I am not free. - Eugene V Debs

When you have police officers who abuse citizens, you erode public confidence in law enforcement. That makes the job of good police officers unsafe. - Mary F Berry

One of the fondest expressions around is that we can't be the world's policeman. But guess who gets called when suddenly someone needs a cop. - Colin Powell


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