#1 humor site on the 'net

Porpoise Pilots

Ship pilots that lead by example

Porpoise Pilots thanks to Keith Blake

QuotaBills
Like ships that clash in the night. - Archie Bunker

Up the creek in a boat with a hole. - Archie Bunker

Kinship: Your rich Uncle's boat - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You're gonna need a bigger boat. - Jaws

Nodding the head does not row the boat. - Unknown

Ships are expendable; the whales are not. - Paul Watson

Quay: Something you need to start a motor boat - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Anyone can steer the ship when the sea is calm. - Publilius Syrus

Tell the men to fire faster and not give up the ship. - Captain James Lawrence

Big ships can only be launched where the water is deep. - Amish Saying

Oar: Clumsy wooden implement used to moisten boat occupants - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

It is hard to rock the boat when you are helping to row the boat. - Unknown

Some people could look at a mud puddle and see an ocean with ships. - Zora N Hurston

Shells sink,
Dreams float,
Life's good
On our boat. - Jimmy Buffet

I met my wife on a ferry boat, and when we landed she gave me the slip. - Groucho Marx

I have a feeling that when my ship comes in I'll be at the airport. - Charles Schulz

Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat. - Mark Twain

An entire ocean can't sink a ship unless it allows the water inside. - Donna Smith

After the ship has sunk, a consultant knows how it might have been saved. - Newt Hielscher

If you have a boat and a happy marriage, you don't need another thing. - Ed McMahon

Rowing harder doesn't help if the boat is headed in the wrong direction. - Unknown

When rats leave a sinking ship, where exactly do they think they're going? - Douglas Gauck

Perspective is to painting what the bridle is to the horse, the rudder to a ship. - Leonardo da Vinci

My folks didn't come over on the Mayflower but they were here to meet the boat. - Will Rogers

If you're offered a seat on a rocket ship, don't ask what seat! Just get on. - Sheryl Sandberg

The ship is safest when it is in port, but that's not what ships were built for. - Paulo Coelho

Neither should a ship rely on one small anchor, nor should life rest on a single hope. - Epictetus

When you get on the boat that's saving you, don't pull up the ladder behind you. - Adrienne Clarkson

The man without a purpose is like a ship without a rudder - a waif, a nothing, a no man. - Thomas Carlyle

If the highest aim of a captain were to preserve his ship, he would keep it in port forever. - Thomas Aquinas

Basically my wife was immature. I'd be in my bath, and she'd come in and sink my boats. - Woody Allen

Those who have one foot in the canoe and one foot in the boat are going to fall into the river. - Tuscarora Proverb

To say my fate is not tied to your fate is like saying, "Your end of the boat is sinking." - Hugh Downs

Demagogue: A politician who can rock the boat and persuade everyone else that they're in a terrible storm - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Sailor: 1. A man who makes his living on water but never touches it on shore; 2. A wolf in ship's clothing. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If a man must be obsessed by something, I suppose a boat is as good as anything, perhaps a bit better than most. - E.B. White

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

The person who goes farthest is generally the one who is willing to do and dare. The sure-thing boat never gets far from shore. - Dale Carnegie

He who loves practice without theory is like the sailor who boards ship without a rudder and compass and never knows where he may cast. - Leonardo da Vinci

Boat Anchor: 1. Thrown out when you need it, and taken in when you don't; 2. An old computer so useless that it needs to go to sea. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com


Chinese Puzzle Car

Always Give 100% At Work

Ancient Politician

My Toaster Is Broken

Shining Stars

Tunnel Face

The Bugs Are Bad This Year

Dog Spa

Ostrich Imprint

Local Crabs

World's First Hard Hat

Bird Melons

Bag Hang-Up

LippoPotumus

Haircut For Staff Meetings

Wolf Mode

Undertaker Bike

Throwaway Sport Paper

Pacman Skeleton

Vatican City's New Breakfast Special

Flying Cathedral Excuse

Day At The Beach

John The Baptist Souvenirs

Amish Prom Limo