One Size Fits All

Didn't he take the exercise tax off cars? - Archie Bunker

If the glove doesn't fit, you must acquit. - Johnnie Cochran

Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig

If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts. - Albert Einstein

Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

Fit yourself for the best society, and then never enter it. - John Ruskin

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

A good way I know to find happiness is to not bore a hole to fit the plug. - Josh Billings

A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar. - Lao-Tzu

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars... the rest I squandered. - George Best

When advice is freely given, the receiver is free to use it as he or she sees fit. - Harvey Mackay

It's not the size of the man in the fight, but the size of the fight in the man. - Unknown

It's not the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog. - Mark Twain

I thought I knew Texas pretty well, but I had no notion of its size until I campaigned it. - Ann Richards

What lies behind you and what lies before you pales in comparison to what lies within you. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Size isn't everything. The whale is endangered, while the ant continues to do just fine. - Bill Vaughan

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright

I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby

When you are content to be simply yourself and don't compare or compete, everybody will respect you. - Lao-Tzu

A round man cannot be expected to fit in a square hole right away. He must have time to modify his shape. - Mark Twain

You cannot tailor-make the situations in life, but you can tailor-make the attitudes to fit those situations. - Zig Ziglar

When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson

Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. - Unknown

It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper. - Jerry Seinfeld

I've no interest on initiating a fashion trend on Coruscant or anywhere else. I simply want a uniform that fits. - James Luceno

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

If you want to make a permanent change, stop focusing on the size of your problems and start focusing on the size of you. - T. Harv Eker

I'm not a car guy. The subway gets me where I need to go efficiently and cheaply, and I don't worry about traffic. - Joe Scarborough

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin

I've never believed in measuring one's worth by the size of his or her bank account. I prefer to look at distance traveled. - Dan Rather

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

The mathematician may be compared to a designer of garments, who is utterly oblivious of all the creatures who his garments may fit. - Dantzig

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright