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Newfie Lawn Rolls

What a Newfie does when he wins the lottery

Newfie Lawn Rolls thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Owshegettinonb’ys?

Two men from Newfoundland were waiting at the bus stop when
a truck went past loaded up with rolls of turf.
Sheamus said, “I'm gonna do dat when I win da lottery.”
“What’s dat den?” asks Mikey.
“Send me lawn away to be cut.”

QuotaBills
Meat: Grass once removed - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Paddy O Furniture: Irish lawn chairs - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

As welcome as a skunk at a lawn party. - Proverb

A lawn is nature under totalitarian rule. - Michael Pollan

Have patience! In time, even grass becomes milk. - Charan Singh

Laundress: A gown worn while sitting on the grass - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Big sisters are the crab grass in the lawn of life. - Charles M. Schulz

When two elephants fight it is the grass that gets trampled. - African Proverb

A leaf of grass is no less than the journey-work of the stars. - Walt Whitman

A people without history is like the wind on the buffalo grass. - Lakota Sioux Proverb

All you need to grow fine, vigorous grass is a crack in your sidewalk. - Will Rogers

I always thought a yard was three feet, then I started mowing the lawn. - C.E. Cowman

If dandelions were hard to grow, they would be most welcome on any lawn. - Andrew V. Mason

Sitting quietly, doing nothing, spring comes, and the grass grows by itself. - Zenrin

Books are no different from goats - they enjoy an afternoon out on the lawn. - Kate Bernheimer

If grass can grow through cement, love can find you at every time in your life. - Cher

Ever hear of the old saying, "grass don't grow on a busy street?" - Archie Bunker

The grass withers, the flower fades
But the word of our God stands forever. - Isaiah 40:8

My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance. - Tim Allen

It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up. - Muhammad Ali

I'm no miracle worker. I'm just a guy who rolls up his sleeve and goes to work. - Don Shula

Every blade of grass has its angel that bends over it and whispers, 'Grow, grow.' - Talmud

Shady Character: A fellow who snoozes in a hammock under a tree while his wife mows the lawn - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My own prescription for health is less paperwork and more running barefoot through the grass. - Leslie Grimutter

Samson, he takes the jawbone out of the grass and he kills the whole army of the Phillipines. - Archie Bunker

There's one good thing about snow: it makes your lawn look as nice as your neighbor's. - Clyde Moore

A good wife is one who can mow the lawn in the summer and put up the storm windows in the winter. - WC Fields

Knowing trees, I understand the meaning of patience. Knowing grass, I can appreciate persistence. - Hal Borland

I asked the waiter, "Is this milk fresh?" He said, "Lady, three hours ago it was grass." - Phyllis Diller

An Irishman is never drunk as long as he can hold onto one blade of grass to keep from falling off the earth. - Unknown

Once a new technology rolls over you, if you're not part of the steamroller, you're part of the road. - Stewart Brand

I spend hours mowing the lawn in absolutely straight lines on my tractor. If it's not right, I do it again. - Britt Ekland

Wall Street is the only place that people ride to in a Rolls Royce to get advice from those who take the subway. - Warren Buffett

One of my favorite things to make is homemade sushi. I know how to make the rolls and it's really fun to do. - Carly Rae Jepsen

The bulletin board on the lawn of a New Jersey Church reads "We reserve the right to accept everybody." - John Kazmark

Gardener: 1. Someone who thinks that what goes down must come up; 2. A man who never lets grass grow under his feet. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing, and the lawn mower is broken. - James Dent

Grass: 1. The green stuff that wilts in the yard and flourishes in the garden; 2. What grows by the yard and dies by the foot. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

Personal columnists are jackals and no jackal has been known to live on grass once he had learned about meat - no matter who killed the meat for him. - Ernest Hemingway


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