#1 humor site on the 'net

Moses As A Lifeguard

Parting the waters ahead of his time

Moses As A Lifeguard thanks to Mel Hardman

First came Homer Simpson off the high diving platform

Moses As A Lifeguard thanks to Mel Hardman

... and the next casualty was the Joe-kster

QuotaBills
Religion altars the mind. - Tony Follari

Man is incurably religious. - Ravi Zacharias

My true religion is Kindness. - Dalai Lama

That Meathead calls me a religious phonetic. - Archie Bunker

Welcome the coming, speed the parting guest. - Homer

Religion is the search for ultimate meaning. - Viktor Frankl

The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard. - Steven Wright

There is nothing more important than appearing to be religious. - Niccolo Machiavelli

A rigorous religion can be conceived and nurtured in ignorance. - Ravi Zacharias

In an urban environment, a church building is a thing of the past. - Mark Batterson

Give me a couple of pages of the Bible, and I'll give you a picture. - Cecil B. DeMille

A thorough knowledge of the Bible is worth more than a college education. - Theodore Roosevelt

The Religion that is afraid of science dishonors God and commits suicide. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Religion is the essence of culture, and culture is the dress of religion. - Paul Tillich

There is a world of practical religion in simply being considerate of others. - Roger Babson

Italy is the home of art and swindling; home of religion and moral rottenness. - Mark Twain

The Bible does not give us a road map for life, but it does give us a compass. - Gordon S. Jackson

You can always borrow a corkscrew from a member of the Protestant Episcopal Church. - Chauncey Depew

The first time I sang in the Church choir, two hundred people changed their religion. - Fred Allen

The less Holy Spirit we have, the more cake and coffee we need to keep the church going. - Reinhard Bonnke

I don't see anywhere in the Bible where it says you shouldn't get breast implants. - Carrie Prejean

Are you saying that the Rebel Alliance were religious terrorists and Yoda was a benefit cheat? - Dave Turner

Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong, even though they say it's okay in the Bible. - Homer Simpson

Like a great Eastern religion says, it's all about striking a balance between the ping and the pong. - Kelly

I have an everyday religion that works for me. Love yourself first, and everything else falls in to line. - Lucille Ball

Going to Church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile. - Billy Sunday

The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain

God trained Moses in a palace to use him in a desert. He trained Joseph in a desert to use him in a palace. - Ravi Zacharias

The whole religious complexion of the modern world is due to the absence from Jerusalem of a lunatic asylum. - Havelock Ellis

The Muslim world is threatened by religious fanaticism. The Western world is threatened by secular fanaticism. - Dennis Prager

The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because they are the same people. - G K Chesterton

"I am who I am", said God to Moses regarding His name, because none was worth to be compared to His godhead. - Toba Beta

I have wondered at times what the Ten Commandments would have looked like if Moses had run them through the US Congress. - Ronald Reagan

I find that the nicest and best people generally profess no religion at all, but are ready to like the best men of all religions. - Samuel Butler

The Muslim Prophet Mohammed was a big believer in charity and firmly established helping those in need as a basis of the religion. - Richard Engel

I am quite sure now that often in matters concerning religion and politics, a man's reasoning powers are not above the monkeys. - Mark Twain

Every sort of energy and endurance, of courage and capacity for handling life's evils, is set free in those who have religious faith. - William James

The Bible tells us that Jesus Christ came to do three things. He came to have my past forgiven, you get a purpose for living and a home in Heaven - Rick Warren

Only through repentance and faith in Christ can anyone be saved. No religious activity will be sufficient, only true faith in Jesus Christ alone. - Ravi Zacharias

The hallmark of religion is to distrust claims made for mortal men. It is in ages of great religious faith that great skepticism can find expression. - Malcolm Muggeridge


Wedding Pound Cake

Parking Justice

Is This Really Happening?!

The Explanation

High Strung Violinist

Deodorized Pads

Leteracy Night

Redneck Baby Carriage

Stealth Readers

Good Stuff Or Else

Productive Computers

Poodle Power

Trust Issues

Bacon Soda Sales

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

My Time

Lerts

Great White Socks

That's Not A Bagpipe!

Paint Protection

Balanced Writer

Jolly Good Recovery

Tylenol Ban

In Perfect Harmony