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Moses As A Lifeguard

Parting the waters ahead of his time

Moses As A Lifeguard thanks to Mel Hardman

First came Homer Simpson off the high diving platform

Moses As A Lifeguard thanks to Mel Hardman

... and the next casualty was the Joe-kster

QuotaBills
Man is incurably religious. - Ravi Zacharias

My true religion is Kindness. - Dalai Lama

For every Pharoah there is a Moses. - Idries Shah

There is no substitute for the Bible. - Henry Halley

That Meathead calls me a religious phonetic. - Archie Bunker

Welcome the coming, speed the parting guest. - Homer

The church is the great lost-and-found department. - Robert Short

Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich. - Napoleon Bonaparte

True religion is the life we lead, not the creed we profess. - Louis Nizer

The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard. - Steven Wright

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy. - Frank Sinatra

Religion is the essence of culture, and culture is the dress of religion. - Paul Tillich

There is a world of practical religion in simply being considerate of others. - Roger Babson

The Bible does not give us a road map for life, but it does give us a compass. - Gordon S. Jackson

There's no better book with which to defend the Bible than the Bible itself. - Dwight L. Moody

I won't take my religion from any man who never works except with his mouth. - Carl Sandburg

In this religious order has flourished and is revitalized the order of Knighthood. - Knights Templar

The world is my country, all mankind are my brethren, and to do good is my religion. - Thomas Paine

A religion that gives nothing, costs nothing, and suffers nothing, is worth nothing. - Martin Luther

I'm a Catholic deer hunter. I am happy to be clinging to my guns and my religion. - Paul Ryan

The church is close, but the road is icey. The tavern is far, but I will walk carefully. - Russian Proverb

We have just enough religion to make us hate but not enough to make us love one another. - Jonathan Swift

While waiting for a Moses to lead us into the promised land, we have forgotten how to walk. - Wendell Johnson

Sex is the mysticism of materialism and the only possible religion in a materialistic society. - Malcolm Muggeridge

And here's Moses Kiptanui, the nineteen-year-old Kenyan, who turned twenty a few weeks ago. - David Coleman

I am the indoctrinated child of two lapsed Irish Catholics. Which is to say: I am not religious. - Meghan O'Rourke

Moses was the greatest legislator and the commander in chief of perhaps the first liberation army. - Elie Wiesel

He was of the faith chiefly in the sense that the church he currently did not attend was Catholic. - Kingsley Amis

If I were ever prosecuted for my religion, I truly hope there would be enough evidence to convict me. - John Wooden

The Bible, if ya read it you'd know. It's right in the beginning there, in the Book of Generous. - Archie Bunker

Like a great Eastern religion says, it's all about striking a balance between the ping and the pong. - Kelly

The task of organized religion is not to prove that God was in the 1st century, but that he is in the 20th. - S.H. Miller

The whole religious complexion of the modern world is due to the absence from Jerusalem of a lunatic asylum. - Havelock Ellis

Since I got to 80, I've started reading the Bible a lot more. It's kind of like cramming for my finals. - Vincent Watson

Question everything. Your love, your religion, your passion. If you don't have questions, you'll never find answers. - Colleen Hoover

He who begins with Metaphysics will not only become confused in matters of religion, but will fall into complete infidelity. - Maimonides

Every sort of energy and endurance, of courage and capacity for handling life's evils, is set free in those who have religious faith. - William James

Man has made 32 million laws since the Commandments were handed down to Moses on Mount Sinai... but he has never improved on God's law. - Cecil B. DeMille

Starbucks says they are going to start putting religious quotes on cups. The very first one will say, 'Jesus! This cup is expensive!' - Conan O'Brien

No matter how bad things are, they can always be worse. So what if my stroke left me with a speech impediment? Moses had one, and he did all right. - Kirk Douglas


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