#1 humor site on the 'net

Milk Cow Levels

Teat Tweets: Transparent cow wins illusive 4-H dairy prize

Milk Cow Levels thanks to Mel Hardman

What happens when a farmer milks a cow

QuotaBills
Gin was mother's milk to her. - George Bernard Shaw

Never kick a cow chip on a hot day. - Will Rogers

Sacred cows make the best hamburger. - Mark Twain

Vice-President: A cow's fifth teat. - Harry S Truman

Milk the cow but do not pull off the udder. - Greek Proverb

Cheese - milk's leap toward immortality. - Clifton Fadiman

Milk without fat is like nonalcoholic Scotch. - Andy Rooney

Why buy a cow if you can get the milk for free. - English Proverb

Have patience! In time, even grass becomes milk. - Charan Singh

Charity is the sterilized milk of human kindness. - Oliver Herford

De-caffeinated: What a cow gets when it has a baby - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat. - Mark Twain

In Hollywood, a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk. - Rita Rudner

Change is like a charging cow. Don't ignore it - milk it. - Andrew Leigh

Heifer cow is better than none, but this is no time for puns. - Groucho Marx

Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned. - WC Fields

I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out my nose. - Woody Allen

I miss Irish milk. Probably not as much as Superquinn sausages. - Tristan MacManus

Mrs. O'Leary's cow is sorry, but Cleveland burned anyway. - Archie Bunker

Things are seldom what they seem. Skim milk masquerades as cream. - W S Gilbert

The cow is of the bovine ilk;
One end is moo, the other milk. - Ogden Nash

All the good ideas I ever had came to me while I was milking a cow. - Grant Wood

You should never hesitate to trade your cow for a handful of magic beans. - Tom Robbins

I am on a ketos diet so I avoid sugar, dairy products, wheat, grain or pulses. - Puneet Issar

Diabetes is all about insulin levels and sugar levels and what you put in your body. - Jay Cutler

Mankind has a free will; but it is free to milk cows and to build houses, nothing more. - Martin Luther

A good role is something that will stretch your abilities and make you go beyond your levels. - Jennifer Winget

I was in a sushi bar and it dawned on me - how could I discriminate between a cow and a fish? - Carre Otis

Achievement is largely the product of steadily raising one's levels of aspiration and expectation. - Jack Nicklaus

I asked the waiter, "Is this milk fresh?" He said, "Lady, three hours ago it was grass." - Phyllis Diller

Milk is the drink of babies, tea the drink of women, water the drink of beasts, and wine is the drink of the gods. - John S Blackie

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

For almost seventy years the life insurance industry has been a smug sacred cow feeding the public a steady line of sacred bull. - Ralph Nader

It takes someone with a vision of the possibilities to attain new levels of experience. Someone with the courage to live his dreams. - Les Brown

Woke up, it was a Chelsea morning, and the first thing that I knew
There was milk and toast and honey and a bowl of oranges, too. - Joni Mitchell

Canada is like an old cow. The West feeds it. Ontario and Quebec milk it. And you can well imagine what it's doing in the Maritimes. - Tommy Douglas

You're supposed to eat the cows. They're great big lumbering, stupid things - they'd be everywhere if we didn't eat them. - Dylan Moran

It's life, isn't it? You plow ahead and make a hit. And you plow on and someone passes you. Then someone passes them. Time levels. - Katharine Hepburn

The call of the yellow-billed cuckoo of North America is often mistaken for a bloodhound drinking a bowl of milk. He goes coulp coulp coulp. - Will Cuppy

Love one another and help others to rise to the higher levels, simply by pouring out love. Love is infectious and the greatest healing energy. - Sai Baba


Barking Up The Wrong Tree

Indiana Bones

Raxe

Halloween Horse

Holding His Own Portraits

Kung Fu Driver

Ford Quadricycle

Redneck Hayride

Ice Boat

Atom Trust

Electricity Storage

Be Patient

Can Never Have Too Many Tools

Roller Blade Heels

Pedal Car Mechanic

Winterpeg Warm

Box Biker

Ice Hockey Meltdown

Swingers

Patience and Wisdom

Hippo Race

Tank Top Security

Bus Office

I Lost My Job With Lifeline