Marital Rating Chart - Husband

A good husband is healthy and absent. - Japanese Proverb

I've seen better fights at a wedding. - Harry Redknapp

A really good detective never gets married. - Raymond Chandler

Can you fix my husband? He says he's broke. - Unknown

Love - a temporary insanity curable by marriage. - Ambrose Bierce

Housewarming: The last call for wedding presents - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has not pleasure. - Samuel Johnson

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. - Groucho Marx

Now a soft kiss; Aye, by that kiss, I vow an endless bliss. - John Keats

A husband's conjungal and a wife's convivial obligation - Archie Bunker

I would rather be a beggar and single than a queen and married. - Queen Elizabeth I

When I die, bury me on the golf course so my husband will visit. - Unknown

All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner. - Red Skelton

A girl must marry for love, and keep on marrying until she finds it. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

I got a new set of golf clubs for my husband. Best trade I ever made. - Unknown

A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short. - Andre Maurois

Marriage is better than leprosy because it's easier to get rid of. - WC Fields

One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry. - Oscar Wilde

I believe in love and marriage, but not necessarily with the same person. - John Travolta

If you have a boat and a happy marriage, you don't need another thing. - Ed McMahon

If men knew how women pass the time when they are alone, they'd never marry. - O. Henry

I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career. - Gloria Steinem

Sir, it is your duty to get married. You can't be always living for pleasure. - Oscar Wilde

Bachelors: Married men may have better halves, but bachelors have better quarters - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Well, at least he has found his true love - what a pity he can't marry himself. - Frank Sinatra

I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck. - WC Fields

Inspirations never go in for long engagements; they demand immediate marriage to action. - Unknown

A girl who thinks that a man will treat her better after marriage than before is a fool. - William C. Hall

Every time I try to make my marriage more exciting, my wife finds out about it right away. - Bob Monkhouse

If you marry a man who cheats on his wife, you'll be married to a man who cheats on his wife. - Ann Landers

My husband always felt that a marriage and career don't mix. That's why he's never worked. - Phyllis Diller

Any married man should forget his mistakes - there's no use in two people remembering the same thing. - John C Maxwell

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house. - Rod Stewart

The most happy marriage I can picture or imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

I love being married. It's so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. - Rita Rudner

Love is an ideal thing, marriage is a real thing. A confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished. - Johann Wolfgang Goethe

The best reason for a knitter to marry is that you can't teach the cat to be impressed when you finish a lace scarf. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

I don't sit around thinking that I'd like to have another husband; only another man would make me think that way. - Lauren Bacall

My husband wanted one of those big-screen TVs for his birthday. So I just moved his chair closer to the one we have already. - Wendy Liebman

I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor's sixth husband. I know what I'm supposed to do, but I don't know how to make it interesting. - Milton Berle