#1 humor site on the 'net

Looking For Something?

Something smells good at the zoo

Looking For Something? thanks to Keith Blake

QuotaBills
Some leaders are born women. - Unknown

So much work, so few women to do it. - Unknown

Americans like fat books and thin women. - Russell Baker

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a net. - Cynthia Heimel

A man's only as old as the woman he feels. - Groucho Marx

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes. - Jim Carrey

When a woman is openly bad she is then at her best. - Latin Proverb

Anything related to elephants is irrelephant. - Unknown

When the devil finds a lazy woman, he puts her to work. - Russian Proverb

Women like silent men, they think they're listening. - George Carlin

I love bringing roses to a woman when she least expects it. - Esai Morales

My first day as a woman and I am already having hot flushes. - Robin Williams

If you can make a woman laugh, you can make her do anything. - Marilyn Monroe

A woman can say more in a sigh than a man can say in a sermon. - Arnold Haultain

A man falls in love through his eyes, a woman through her ears. - Woodrow Wyatt

Amazing women don't have hot flashes. We have power surges. - Unknown

Sometimes I consider myself as a feminist, whatever that means. - Sarah Palin

I am a woman meant for a man, but I never found a man who could compete. - Bette Davis

Back then the women had babies, which they called in them days, begatten. - Archie Bunker

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship. - Sharon Stone

He who has two women loses his soul. But he who has two homes loses his mind. - Ancient Proverb

Woman begins by resisting a man's advances and ends by blocking his retreat. - Oscar Wilde

Menopause is our chance to say, "I am woman - open a freaking window." - Unknown

Women have a hard enough time in this world; telling them the truth would be too cruel. - H L Mencken

Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance. - Oscar Wilde

The fantasy of every Australian man is to have two women - one cleaning and the other dusting. - Maurenn Murphy

You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy. - Erica Jong

One should never trust a woman who tells her real age; a woman who would tell one would tell one anything. - Oscar Wilde

No matter how plain a woman may be, if truth and honesty are written across her face, she will be beautiful. - Eleanor Roosevelt

At present, our country needs women's idealism and determination, perhaps more in politics than anywhere else. - Shirley Chisholm

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. - Lana Turner

If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him... is he still wrong? - George Carlin

I think the only difference between me and the other candidates is that I'm more honest and my women are more beautiful. - Donald Trump

Of the two lots, the woman's lot of perpetual motherhood, and the man's of perpetual babyhood, I prefer the man's. - Bernard Shaw

Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman - or a bad woman - it depends on how much happiness you can handle. - George Burns

Now I lay facedown on the bed, sobbing for the woman who once slept here not knowing that someday one of her worst fears would come true. - Jennifer Castle

If you go out looking for friends, you're going to find they are very scarce. If you go out to be a friend, you'll find them everywhere. - Zig Ziglar

Successful people are always looking for opportunities to help others. Unsuccessful people are always asking, "What's in it for me?" - Brian Tracy

In looking for people to hire, you look for three qualities: integrity, intelligence, and energy. And if they don't have the first, the other two will kill you. - Warren Buffet

My mother was the most beautiful woman I ever saw. All I am I owe to my mother. I attribute my success in life to the moral, intellectual and physical education I received from her. - George Washington


Sea Sand Art

Grief Bacon

Respect For Grapes

Up Purriscope

Fresh Chicken

Ice Climbing Building

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Does Your Hedgehog Bite?

Lazy Line Painters

Vegan Brownies

From Start To Finish

Milkshake Diet

Hand Speech

Software Cake

Bland Entrance

Preikestolen Pulpit Rock

Redneck Firemen

Side Rail

Icy Grip Of Winter

Brace For The Resolutioners

Shining Armor Knight

Icicle Drinks

Incontinent Pool

Handstand Snowman