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Women hold up half the sky. - Mao Zedong

Some leaders are born women. - Unknown

Hell hath no fury like a woman's corns. - Archie Bunker

I represent the 'Wonder Woman' of the new world. - Gal Gadot

I love bringing roses to a woman when she least expects it. - Esai Morales

A woman is attractive when she is somebody else's wife. - African Proverb

If you can make a woman laugh, you can make her do anything. - Marilyn Monroe

All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women. - WC Fields

Women's clothes: never wear anything that panics the cat. - P.J. O'Rourke

Her mother was a cultivated woman - she was born in a greenhouse. - Spike Milligan

Women are wiser than men because they know less and understand more. - James Stephens

The best years of a woman's life - the ten years between 39 and 40. - Unknown

The 3 fastest means of communication: Twitter; Telephone; Tell a woman. - Unknown

A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker

I want to be a millionaire not for the money but for the woman I will become. - Jaime Tardy

I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. - Erma Bombeck

Housework is what a woman does that nobody notices unless she hasn't done it. - Evan Esar

The only people who find what they are looking for in life are the fault finders. - Foster’s Law

My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere. - Steven Wright

I believe in loyalty: I think when a woman reaches an age she likes, she should stick to it. - Eva Gabor

Looking at how successful all the Kardashian women are, I don't blame Bruce Jenner at all. - Trevor Noah

Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd,
Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorned. - William Congreve

My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands, and two of them were just napping. - Rita Rudner

The only reason they say 'Women and children first' is to test the strength of the lifeboats. - Jean Kerr

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?" - Dumas

In hunting - as in life - sometimes the thing you need most isn't the thing you went looking for. - Unknown

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

A woman, especially if she has the misfortune of knowing anything, should conceal it as well as she can. - Jane Austen

Democracy is very different in U.S. and A. from Kazakhstan. In America, woman can vote, but horse cannot! - Borat Sagdiyev

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public. - Phyllis Diller

No matter how plain a woman may be, if truth and honesty are written across her face, she will be beautiful. - Eleanor Roosevelt

We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife. - Groucho Marx

I wanted to be the first woman to burn her bra, but it would have taken the fire department four days to put it out. - Dolly Parton

There is nothing in the world like the devotion of a married woman. It is a thing no married man knows anything about. - Oscar Wilde

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with the window shut, and a woman who cannot sleep with the window open. - George Bernard Shaw

Now that women are jockeys, baseball umpires, atomic scientists, and business executives, maybe someday they can master parallel parking. - Bill Vaughan

When a woman puts on a heel, she has a different posture, a different attitude. She really stands up and has a consciousness of her body. - Christian Louboutin

I like reading, I like boring things, and yet I think people for ages had this image of me that I was on the tube with a chainsaw looking for any likely candidate. - Jo Brand

Irish women are always carrying water on their heads, and always carrying their husbands home from pubs. Such things are the greatest posture-builders in the world. - Peter O'Toole

Once a King in Narnia, always a King in Narnia. But don't go trying to use the same route twice. Indeed, don't try to get there at all. It'll happen when you're not looking for it. - C S Lewis