Items Of Value

Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig

Truth is the most valuable thing we have. Let us economize it. - Mark Twain

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

As every thread of gold is valuable, so is every moment of time. - J. Mason

Every tooth in a man's head is more valuable than a diamond. - Miguel de Cervantes

The more you invest in a marriage, the more valuable it becomes. - Amy Grant

I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist. - George Carlin

We spend our time searching for security and hate it when we get it. - John Steinbeck

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

A private railroad car is not an acquired taste. One takes to it immediately. - Eleanor R. Belmont

He prefers the security of known misery to the misery of unfamiliar insecurity. - Sheldon B. Kopp

What we all must decide is how we are valuable rather than how valuable we are. - Edgar Z. Friedenberg

It often happens that the quotations constitute the most valuable part of a book. - Vicesimus Knox

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha

Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown

I took a physical for some life insurance. All they would give me was fire and theft. - Milton Berle

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

I used to think that one of the great signs of security was the ability to just walk away. - Jack Nicholson

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times. - Tim Allen

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright

There's only two people in your life you should lie to... the police and your girlfriend. - Jack Nicholson

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical. - Murray Walker

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

Women are like the police. They could have all the evidence in the world, but they still want the confession. - Chris Rock

When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson

The only security men can have for their political liberty, consists in keeping their money in their own pockets. - Lysander Spooner

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

Everything that enlarges the sphere of human powers, that shows man he can do what he thought he could not do, is valuable. - Samuel Johnson

Rather than the strength it takes to not lose, it's the strength to stand back up after a loss that is sometimes more valuable. - Kyo Shirodaira

Advertising is a valuable economic factor because it is the cheapest way of selling goods, particularly if the goods are worthless. - Sinclair Lewis

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright